Location near Huay Sak Reservoir
Hares: Brain Health & Just Perfect
After a long absence as hare, Brain Health took the reigns because Paddy Boy had conscripted him three months prior. Since Brain Health had no say in the matter, he proceeded to take out his vengeance by beating the s**t out of the hashers – setting a near record number of checks, taking us on muddy roads, up hills, through a village with dogs at every house and if that wasn’t enough, through tracks lined with “mai ya lap” or chicken scream vines on both sides so that with one false step you would be scarred for life. 34 innocent hashers consisting of 9 virgins, 6 children and an even split of males and females turned up, not knowing what Brain Health had in store. To make matters worse, Brain Health had enlisted the services of two young lads (keep your mind out of the gutter) to run in front of the FRBs and pretend to guide them on the correct path only to lead them astray.
The checks were very successful, leading the FRBs in the wrong direction nearly every time. SoreAssIis and Do It Yourself learned the hard way that following the local lads would quickly lead you astray and Fired up & Virgin Will managed to take the lead. The route went out of a village, across some fields, onto an irrigation khlong with some missing cover pieces to act as hazards, onto a dirt road and then onto a small farming trail that took us up to a summit overlooking the reservoir. As we dropped down onto the dam, Brain Health was there with his whip threatening the hashers to keep running or bear the consequences. Most of the hashers continued on but a few broke under the stress including Shocking, Dream, Lye, No Name and Ranger who opted to take the short cut back along the road. As the main group got to the On-On there was a panic because when the saw Shocking with a beer in hand, comfortably seated near the ice chest, they were sure there would be no beer left. Luckily Do It Yourself had hidden an ice chest that Shocking hadn’t found. Shocking’s rather dubious account can be read here (The hare had informed the hashers that he would position himself near the 5k mark just in case anyone wanted to take the short route home (would we) with the hare nowhere in sight yours truly arrived at the 5k mark and thinking nature had called with the hare, set off again in the belief that he was taking the long route only to find to his amazement that he had arrived back at the hares house first home, celebrating his victory by heading straight for the beer box.) (Bold added for effect) Lost Samuria, Nok Easy, Hom Noi, Elaine, Virgin Will, Dream and friend Lye trailed in with Titanic, The Best Man, On Fire, Iceberg & Special needs with Special Services in close attendance with Buffalo Bill, Ranger,& No Name together with friend Michael coming home in a blanket finish.
As an aside, Virgin Lye had been told by Virgin Will that the hash was a kind of party so she had dressed in a very suave party dress and wore high heels. Needless to say, she wasn’t overly thrilled with Virgin Will by the end of the hash and needed assistance just walking as her heels were well blistered.
Feeling guilty that her husband Brain Health had tortured so many innocent hashers, Just Perfect decided to make it up to everyone by putting on a spread that would not have been out of place in a 5 star hotel. There was a mouth-watering selection of local dishes brought in by a professional caterer. However, Just Perfect had her hands full trying to keep that crafty Labrador Bushwacker and Perfect Man’s Rottweiller from stepping on her newly planted flowers and eating the food off the table. But after feeding 34 hungry hashers and 2 big dogs, there was still enough left over to feed the village.
Since the circle happened after the food and significant amounts of beer had been consumed, most of the hashers struggled to keep their eyes open. Shocking acted as GM and after the usual spiel presented our hares with the special shirts and managed to sell one to a first timer Virgin Rose. He then welcomed the 9 hash virgins: Brian, Nang, Christian, Elaine, Aussie Andrew who looks to have a good beer arm to make a devoted hasher, Will and Wife Dream and friend Lye who thought she had escaped the circle but was toasted on the second attempt and Rose who lived next door to the hares but came from China via Phuket. Since everyone was overly full, there were no memorable down-downs or anything else worth mentioning.
Fine Print: Due to our renowned hash scribe Wirgin "Shakespeare" Bluce taking a tour of ALL the whiskey & beer distillers of Canada plus his assistant Able Semen going on an all you can drink boating holiday in dear old Blighty, we freely admit we have scraped the barrel to write this report
July Hand Cock
August Mamalaid/ SoreAssIis
September Namron and Virgin Will
October On Fire/ Fired Up
November Wirgin Bluce/ Wild Woman
December Able Semen
Pictures by Lost Samurai