Hares: Well oiled and Oiled well
Unwilling to fix something that’s not broken, the Xmas Hash was again held at Ban Sai Mun with George (Well oiled) and Noot (Oiled well)acting as hares and hosts.
An early start was set to allow more time for post – Hash entertainment. Oddjob press–ganged Hashers into standing with pieces of paper in front of the camera to enable ease of identification for us as new scribes. (As you will find, it hasn’t helped us much yet.)
After a short briefing from Well Oiled promising us the walk was “easy” and “only 6km” long, we set off for the start in a fleet of chauffer driven and air conditioned vehicles. Those Hashers riding shotgun found themselves at risk of a free pedicure from the unprotected engine fan, whilst those in the rear enjoyed a slow but convivial drive to the start point.
The first ithean disgorged its cargo whereupon some elected (Win, Jan and Scrotum Face to name a few) to set off early whilst others decided to be goodie two shoes and wait for the starting pistol. With the benefit of selective hearing, calls of “come back” were ignored, knowing that any advantage gained would soon be lost. Sure enough the early birds soon heard the thunder of feet and were passed by Nam Ron, Wirgin Bluce , Sean and the other “normal” FRBs.
The hash was predominately flat with a few gentle inclines towards the end. Most of the route used hard packed earth tracks passing through paddy fields and small plantations. Another great Hash route for those of us who favour looking at the fine views at a sweat free strolling pace. There were no challenging ascents of Everest, perhaps to the annoyance of those who really like to exert themselves, but some tricky checks had been laid out to delay the FRBs and allow the less gifted a chance to catch up. Some of the detours had a paper trail that lead for quite a distance before stopping. Titanic complained he had been led off course for a kilometre at one point. Naughty Well Oiled and Oiled well.
First over the finish line were Sean and Ms Jubb (we think) at 16:00 followed shortly by the rest of the runners. One of the runners came panting in wearing no clothes – and after crossing the finish line leapt into a nearby stream and played in the mud. Bushwacker was the called to heel by Jeff and they trotted back home to make a start on the beer.
Well oiled and Oiled well with the assistance from Santa’s little helpers put on a super buffet, lit by xmas lights. For me the star dishes were the home made fruit cake and plum and hibiscus juice. Many thanks to all who helped with the food.
After a huge dent had been made in the victuals, Well Oiled donned his Santa hat to start the Xmas raffle. Amazingly all the children managed to win a prize, the variety of which is too numerous to mention in this limited space. Everyone appreciated their gifts.
The circle.
We were missing our new GM Sten (Stoned). I am not sure why he was absent but I did hear the words “VD”, “infectious” and “water buffalo”. (A whispering source said that Sten had been seen getting stoned whilst he was cruising Jetyod road on Saturday night.) Ian Swan stepped back into his old post (much to his disgust as this reduced his beer drinking time.) Remembering something outstanding , Ian gave thanks to the outgoing committee members, and to the Hares for their grand efforts. General consensus was positive about the course, though some questioned the length, “seemed more like 9kms to me and all uphill”, was a typical comment. 7 virgins to the Hash were welcomed. One was promptly given the name Blow Job, due to his choice of T-shirt, (the logo was ‘I love cocaine’).
An unseasonally harsh decision by the circle forced Oddjob to drink beer. He had failed to walk the course, his excuses of being needed to assist with transport, to take photos of the Hashers arriving back, and ,even, not wanting to blind runners with the sun reflecting off his head were rejected. Down,down.
NamRon noted we were letting our standards slip – thrusting an under-age drinker into the circle, he berated our lack of vigilance – for a brief moment we thought he was being serious until he produced another beer for the guilty one.
Burrito Buff, visiting from the Chiang Mai Hashers, extended an open invitation to their Hashes. (she has e-mailed you all with details). Their “Bunny Hash” is held last Sunday in the month – traditionally an all-female affair, men are welcomed if they cross dress for the circle. Hashers from Chiang Mai will be joining us for our January 16th Hash. Bleepers and blinkers may be required for those of us of a more sensitive nature as their circle is reported to be a rather different affair to ours.
Hares for January and February were confirmed – but we can’t remember who they were- it was now 7 pm and past my bedtime.
Committee for 2010/2553
G.M – Sten (Stoned)
Hash Cash – Peter (Doesn’t Matterhorn)
Hash Beer – Titanic
Hash Scribes – Jan (oohMatron) and Terry (Oddjob)
Contact us via e-mail: chiangraihash@gmail.com. Especially if you are reading someone else’s copy and want to be added to our mailing list.
P.S Thanks for your feedback about the hash, it’s good to get different viewpoints. Whatever our reasons for attending – Chiang Rai Hash appears unique in offering a family friendly and welcoming atmosphere – long may it continue. See you on January 16th.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
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