Run Report #50: December 15, 2007

Report of Run #50: Saturday, December 15, 2007

Location: Between Baan Sai Muun and Baan Duu off Soi 5 near Wat Phra Tat Gaow

Hare: Well Oiled and Oiled Well

Thirty-one hashers showed up for our last hash of the year 2007. There were 20 males and 11 females. Nine were Thais, mostly female and the rest farang. Included in these figures are seven children and seven virgins.

All but the scribe showed up on time. At 3:30 pm the gang promptly climbed unto two itaems (local farm trucks) and headed slowly out along Soi 5 towards Baan Duu. It took some 15 minutes to travel 4 km but eventually the itaems arrived at their destination. The passengers disgorged and began to follow paper. Within ten minutes they arrived at the first check with four possible ways forward one of which was a harvested rice field. This was the most effective check. It kept our heroes searching at least ten minutes mainly in the rice field. Meanwhile your faithful correspond caught up.

The course mostly followed small farming trails mostly along the bottom of hills which bordered the valleys. Being a naturalist Well Oiled made sure we experienced a wide variety of flora especially bamboo which arched over and at places nearly choked off the route. Oileds’ brilliance showed most vividly in their innovative use of symbols. No ordinary ‘X’es for checks. The Oileds used ‘T’es and scattered paper in every direction sometimes beyond the 100 meter limit. False trails were sometimes marked by a firm line across the road, elsewhere the paper just petered out. Sometimes a line across the trail did not mean a false trail at all. Interpreting these symbols took almost as much imagination as went into their creation. FRB Doesn’t Matter Horn thought he was out in front when he arrived at the departure point at Soi 5. A half an hour later he was still by himself wondering where all the others had gone. Fortunately for him the A to B run ended further along Soi 5. Your faithful correspondent found him in a self-doubting mood as he returned when he returned to point A to pick up his car.

There was paper and chalk scattered along Soi 5 between points A and B which suggested that there had been some false starts in the trail laying process. Afterwards the Oileds confessed that they had almost divorced in the process of laying that trail. Well Oiled also declared that ‘sweeping” these hashers was like herding cats. Perhaps the abundance of forward paper trails had something to do with that.

The itaems brought the hashers back from point B to the Oileds’ house just as the sun was setting. Oiled Well had organized a fine buffet of BBQ chicken, somtom, spring rolls and sticky rice. A business circle then formed for its usual business: naming and shaming each other. The GM’s pretty daughter Mary became Boy Magnet. Swiss Peter shall be known hereafter as Doesn’t Matter Horn. Brussels Ron got the name Sprout. Sten and his consort became Stoned and Rolling respectively. MANipulator’s spouse, Andrew showed up for the first time in years. Someone claimed he looked like Sting for whom he was then named.

Hand Cock will hare the run in January. Loose Spoke will take on February.


Notes by Wirgin Bluce

Dec. 15 Hash, Driving Directions

Our next Hash is Saturday December 15 at 3:30 pm!

Here are the directions to the Oiled's house the and HHH trail site. It will take about 35 minutes to get there from the Big C so please plan accordingly. We must be there by 3:30 pm at the latest as there will be an Etem taking hashers out to the starting point.

Option No.1 - Traveling From the South of Town Toward Mae Sai, Using Super Highway A2.

At the first traffic light just after the bridge that crosses the Mae Kok River, hang a LEFT and proceed west for a distance of 4.5 kms.. At this 3 way intersection,(HHH sign) which is a dangerous one,swing carefully to the right and proceed north for 5.0kms until you connect with another 3 way intersection. Here you will notice 2 large public sector blue bill boards (HHH sign). Drift through this intersection to the right carefully and proceed north about 90 meters to our Soi 5 (HHH sign). Make a right turn on Soi 5 and proceed east for about 900 meters. We are at the corner of the road that leads up to Wat Pra Tat Gaut Gaow and Soi 5 (HHH sign). Look for parking along Soi 5, or along road that leads to the Wat. VIP parking is available to the early birds.

Option No. 2 - Traveling From The West Side of Town Using Mae Fae Luang Bridge.

Travel north from the MF bridge 6 kms. Follow the line of the road and do not make any turns until you arrive at The Ban Sai Moon Sam Yak,a 3 way intersection (HHH sign). This turning point is noted again by the same huge official blue public sector billboards. Turn right here and proceed North to Soi 5, a distance of only 90 meters! (HHH sign). Turn right to go East down Soi 5, 900 meters and begin looking for parking as you approach the road leading to the Wat (HHH sign).

The Signs To Look For.

There will only be four signs posted. They are :

1. At the three way intersection at the end of the road from the Super Highway.

2. Ban Sai Moon Sam Yak

3. Soi 5 @ Ban Sai Moon

4. Road leading up to the Wat on the hill.

There will be an Edam ready and available to transport us out to the trail head and return so please try to be punctual. The food will be special and to ensure success and to avoid waste please let us know who is coming.

Well Oiled and Oiled Well. Mobile tel.no. 0894332134

Report of Run #49: 4th Anniversary Hash Saturday, November 17, 2007

Location: Pang Rimkorn village on the road to Khun Korn waterfalls

Hare: Wirgin Bluce

Demographically our 4th anniversary run was very similar to previous exercises. There were 14 men, all expatriates including two virgins. There were 13 women almost all Thai including two more virgins. The other seven were kids.

The thrills began en route. Four wheel drive vehicles drove through the fast current of the Khun Korn River to reach the Wirgin Bluce-Wild Woman farm. Low slung sedans had to off-load their passengers and leave them to negotiate a bamboo bridge slung precariously overhead.

The run began and ended at the farm. The first check was a back check but no one bothered to look at the road that headed up hill. After several minutes of fruitless searching, Nam Ron who knew the route, mercifully called the “On! On!” The FRBs headed by Barefoot Beer Lao Bob (to whom we bid good riddance two months ago) MANipulator, Do It Yourself, Do It Better, virgin Barry and Flaps disappeared only to reappear at the farm 45 minutes later. The rest of the gang trudged in their wake.

For the majority, the first half hour was mostly uphill along narrow paths through jungle and banana plantations. Then we came to a road leading downhill which was a shortcut. Only Shocking, virgins Kodi and his nanny took the primrose path. After some hesitation, the others braved the steep and narrow way. When five-year old Smoked Weiner headed uphill, Mother Molly Polly and Grandfather Reverse Thruster had little choice but follow. At the top they were rewarded with magnificent views all over the valley.

As the trail neared its end at the farm, virgins six-year old Apauliana and her mother Yuliya decided to innovate. They slipped into the fast moving stream and continued their trip therein. Others like Superglue and virgin Will waited until they arrived at the end then bathed in the Khun Korn River. More conventional hashers took a shower in the cottage.

Wild Woman rewarded the gang with a dinner of BBQ salmon, onions, tomatoes, hamburgers and sausages. Then Apauliana escorted by Kenji, Kodi and Smoked Weiner brought out a cake with four lit candles. This produced cacophonous rendition of “Happy Birthday.” Thus we celebrated the fourth anniversary of our club.

GM Nam Ron proposed the following method to elect next year’s slate of officers. Anyone making a nomination had to drink a half glass of beer. Anyone declining a nomination had to down a full glass of beer. Hand Cock who both nominated and declined nominations soon reached maximum capacity.

In the end Shocking was elected G.M. Helping Hand becames Hash Beer. Do It Yourself will serve as Hash Cash and Wirgin Bluce was reelected as Hash Scribe in the absence of other candidates.

Flaps was welcomed as a new member transferring from Chiangmai. Upon inquiry he confessed that his name derives from his interest in aviation gliding. His consort then became “Joy Stick.”

The December hash will be hared by Well Oiled and Hand Cock volunteered to do January.

Notes by Wirgin Bluce

October 3 Country Hash

hares Paddy Boy and Pornstar

Over 60 hashers from BKK, Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai and even Siem Reap attended this historic 3 country hash on October 13th. The CR hashers included the ever lovely Stung, the ever jovial Shocking along with his son, Superglue and his wife, Pat on the Back, the ever adventurous Do It Yourself and Do It Better, the long lost Duncan Go’nuts, the ever pedantic GM Namron, the ever blackberrying Hand Cock along with the two timing hashers Paddy Boy and Godzilla. The day started poorly when hashers piled into the bus in Chiang Rai only to find out that there were only 50 seats but 65 hashers. The initial enthusiasm of those unlucky 15 quickly faded as they realized they were going to be on their feet for the next hour and a half. However, the hares seeing that mutiny was close at hand quickly found a rental minivan and piled the extra 15 into it. The misadventures continued when Hare Pornstar driving a rented Volvo failed to remember the way (obviously sleep deprived from the previous night’s shenanigans) and the coach proceeded to make 4 U-turns in an attempt to follow – each time drawing sighs from the restless hashers. After two hours, everyone finally arrived at the starting point – a small trail cut into some brush in the middle of nowhere. The hares set out at a brisk pace laying the paper in live fashion. The walkers set out soon after them with the runners hanging back giving the hares time to set the checks. It turned out the checks were only for show as the 3.9 km trail never veered off the main dirt road. The course was mainly uphill and was hot in the mid afternoon sun so everyone arrived at the ending Wat drenched in sweat. The beer was late to arrive but no one seemed to notice as the gorgeous view of the Golden Triangle and the hill tribe kids taking pictures with tourists occupied them. After some beer and water a quick downhill on a footpath dumped everyone at the immigration department. Thankfully Paddy Boy’s wife had already taken care of the paperwork so that all the hashers had to do was pile in a boat – next stop Burma.

About half way across the river late season rains deluged the boats which were forced to slow down to a crawl. Eventually both boats arrived at the dock and after a 15 minute wait, we were ushered in through customs. Finding the initial paper proved to be harder than any subsequent check as the trail was basically a straight line with one right turn. The group enjoyed crossing a small river using either a ladder or cement pipes. Numerous hashers got wet because of slippery, mud-covered shoes, too much alcohol or a combination of both. The less adventurous walked from the boats directly to the beer stall and enjoyed a good 30 minutes of uninterrupted Myanmar beer drinking before the runners started showing up. The runners were wet, scratched and muddy however the samosas and beer were ample compensation to keep them content. Looking like a group of misfit Rambo wannabe’s no one was allowed to go into the casino to tempt fate.

The final hash was in Laos, on the shopping island. Small stalls with thatched roofs selling whiskey with cobras and scorpions and other Lao goods were situated among giant Ngiu trees. Similar to Burma, the trail was overgrown with grass but the trail in Lao was much more scenic and enjoyable. A FRB group got off to a fast start staying close to the hares but one exceptionally difficult check gave the others time catch up. Thorn bush covered tunnels, leg cutting grass and ankle deep mud puddles added a feel of adventure to the course. The hash ended with Beer Lao and a setting sun.

The boats took us across the Mekong to a Thai northern style restaurant with tables set up on the lawn, overlooking the river. The BKK hashers called a circle and proceeded with the usual antics. Unfortunately the Scottish accent of the GM was barely discernible so the crowd eventually drifted towards the tables and enjoyed a fantastic northern style dinner and endless pitchers of beer. Amazingly all passports were returned and no hashers had been lost! On the bus ride back to CR entertainment was provided by the BKK hashers and their endless risqué songs.