First Hash of 2014!!!

Hare:  Oral Banger

The first of our ‘Winter Special’ hashes will be held this coming Saturday, 4^th January, 2014. The location will be at, on, and around Mae Fah Luang University. The hare believes that this is the most beautiful run CRFFH has done in years… It’s a bold statement…. but come and see for yourself.

Directions:

The directions are quite easy. Just head north from Chiang Rai on the super highway heading towards Mae Sai. About 20 kms north of Chiang Rai there are some traffic lights at the entrance of Mae Fah Luang University. Turn right into the university and after about 100 M turn right again. There will be a sign here. Follow the access road up for about 400 M and just before the gate we will have the meeting point…. EASY! The Hare brief will be at 2:45 and the start will be at 3:00 Sharp. If you have any problems you can call Oral Banger at 0804204824.

Due to the busy agenda for the Christmas Hash our naming ceremony was not held… this will be rectified this weekend so think of some clever names for our newer members….. See you soon and        

ON ON!!!

Dec. 21st, Christmas Hash Write-Up

The December 21^st 2013 Chiang Rai Family Friendly Hash was held on a cool, beautiful Saturday afternoon southwest of the city, along the old Chiang Mai highway.  Our Hare, the esteemed Able Semen, offered the Hashers the choice of three different trails distancing approximately 3, 4, and 5 kilometers.  After a short introduction by the Hare during which few, including Able Semen, understood what was said and even fewer listened, the Hashers were off at various speeds down various trails.  The Hashers followed the trails among farms and paddies that dot the rolling hills of the area.  The conspicuously Able Semen’s trail was abundant in picturesque views of the countryside.  At one point the Hashers came upon a large Buddha statue, which, according to Wirgin Bluce (through optical illusion or an extra dose of his ‘medication’), appeared to float on the rice stocks below.  

The first FRB’s finished in less than an hour, with the walkers trickling in about twenty minutes later.  Nam’Ron’s brood of little dude Hashers were technically the first to cross the finish line with their patriarch following quickly behind.  However, it was Nam’Ron who was first to pop open a cold beer provided by Crash and dutifully protected by Oral Banger, giving him the victory.  The beer had plenty of willing guardians during the run as the MFU contingent of Well Seated, Sarah, Stuart, and Loose Stool arrived too late (some too hungover) to participate in the run. 

The first circle led by the newly elected/condemned G.M. Oral Banger introduced a new element to the family friendly festivities: ice.  Able Semen wasted no time in showing onlookers the proper way to utilize the ice, dropping trou and leaving many speechless as he sat on the ice bare-bummed while taking a healthy dose of both vitriol and congratulations.  Unfortunately for the eyes of your faithful scribe,  there was an abundance of white, cottage cheese-like O.M.A (old man arse)  steaming up the ice and burning unwanted images into everyone’s memory.   Fortunately, arses adorned the ice with good reason as our G.M. brought awards to be handed out due to the various reputations, both deserved and not, of his peers.  The awards were as follows:

1.       D.F.L (Dead F@#$ing  Last):  Crash

2.       Head Monkey: Loose Stool

3.       Happy Hasher: Nam’Ron (happy because he had two ladies on his lap)

4.       Ms. Baanoke: Pat on the Back

5.       Sexy Hasher:  Cop Out (eliminated the competition by ending the debate whether her golden tan was accompanied by lines)

6.       Worst Trail Ever: Shocking

After the awards were handed out, our G.M. passed out Hash Hymnals and encouraged everyone to get in the holiday spirit by joining voices together in song.  Precise altos, sopranos and baritones could be heard across the hills as classics such as ‘Jingle Balls’ and ‘Donnie the Retard’ were belted out with fervor.  At the conclusion of the circle the Hashers were treated to a delicious dinner by their gracious hosts Able Semen and Daeng.  Shortly after dark, the Hashers started to make their various ways home with full bellies, holiday spirits invigorated.  Hope to see everyone at the next CRFF Hash on January 4^th around Mae Fah Luang University. 

Directions to Dec. 21st Hash

The Chiang Rai Hash #122 Saturday, 21^st December 2013

Hare: Able Semen

The 2013 Christmas Hash will start at 3 pm. Please arrive no later than 2.45pm to allow time for a Hare Brief.

We are putting on some “Christmas Fayre” after the Circle and so we need to know, and well in advance, how many of you are intending to come along – for catering purposes. Please could you let me know soonest that you will be in attendance.  Able Semen's email address is ianswan@rocketmail.com

Those parents whose children will attend the Hash and would like to meet up with a thinly disguised Father Christmas, should bring a modest Christmas present with them for their own children.

Directions:

From the traffic lights at the Little Duck Hotel, proceed south down the so called Superhighway until you get to the traffic lights at the White Temple (Wat Rong Khun). This is the second set of lights after those at the Little Duck. Turn right here and proceed for about 5 kms until you reach the Old Chiang Mai Road. Turn left and go on for about 800 metres until you see the Km stone #13 on your right. Remember that it is the number facing the road that is relevant – not the number facing you.. Start to slow down here and after about 3 to 400 metres look out for a road on the left. This road is very easy to miss so I will put up a HHH sign here. The turning has an amber flashing light which occasionally works. Turn left here and proceed for about 2.5 kms. You will then see a water tower on your right with a sharp right turn immediately after it. Turn right and go on for another 1 km and you will see our place on your left. Turn in at the gate and then turn right at the second opening on the right. This is a field and ideal for safe parking (unless it’s been raining in which case do what you want). In the event that you are unable to locate the house, call me on 083 762 3267.  Plan on taking a half hour drive to get to the Able Semen house from the Big C.

The gps coordinates are 19.815256, 99.718748 

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10th Anniversary Hash Report

The magical mystery tour that was the 10th Anniversary Chiang Rai Hash was held on November 16^th 2013 on property along the old Chiang Mai highway and less than 1km from the Singha Plantation, Boon Rawd Farm.  The hash was set around the property of our magnanimous host /hare: NamRon.  It was attended by  52 hashers, all of which arrived quite keen to take advantage of the sunshine, the countryside, and NamRon’s best efforts.  They were not to be disappointed.

The hare took full advantage of his ideal surroundings by immediately taking the runners into the tea plantations nearby .  The beauty of the rows of tea slowed down even the FRB’s, and some hashers could even be seen taking ‘selfies’ among the plants.  Jock Block (Stu…aka…JustinMyBeaver..this name SUCKS) was off to the front alongside Oral Banger and a host of little dude hashers including the hare’s own troublemakers Ranger Danger and Buffalo Bill.  It was only revealed later that these youngsters actually co-Hared alongside NamRon.  Needless to say, their trajectory was one that was followed by the more insightful FRB’s.  The first check along the tea saw Jock Block lose his position, as he ran in the opposite direction for some time before hearing the dreaded ‘On On’ call behind him.  Next, the hare took everyone into the rice paddies to the south.  The trail led the hashers on the narrow paddie walls, and calls of ‘watch out for that hole!’ and ‘it’s pretty slick right there!’ echoed around the hills.  NamRon’s trail was a classic case of Strict Liability Hashing, watch out for your own butt and those around you.

Hashers navigated small streams, barbed wire, beasts of burden, spiny grass and steep hills.  The trail winded through the sun and shade.  At some points the hashers found themselves clustered together in a tight space, only minutes later cruising in an open field or through someone’s backyard.

Eventually, the trail took the hashers to the bottom of a bamboo forest and a devious circle check.  Hashers fanned out, everyone’s eyes peeled for the first glimmer of white paper.  It was around this point that Oral Banger accompanied by Able Semen (who had previously proclaimed intimate knowledge of the area) separated themselves from the group at the front.  As Jock Block, Loose Stool, Squats in the Bush and others jumped into the bamboo with vigor, it was Oral Banger and Able Semen that miraculously fell upon paper…..in the middle of the trail.  Oral and Able, were apparently speechless at this discovery and rather than call out the ‘On On,’ were not heard from until the final stretch of the hash.  Protecting their rather cushy lead with a system of silent deceit, Able and Oral seemed assured to finish far ahead of the pack.

Once the Hare’s true trail was discovered, the ‘On On’ was music to everyone’s ears.  However, the pace seemed slowed as the sun moved closer to the horizon and magic hour blanketed the rolling green hills.  The sky changed into vibrant oranges, reds and purples with no shortage of ethereal (suck it Nam’Ron) wisps of clouds.  By now, the FRB’s knew that the key to solving NamRon’s riddle was simply to follow his sons and their very fashionably coiffed friend (one of the best mullets this scribe has ever seen).  The boys were only too happy to proclaim knowledge of the trail and the location of paper after every check.  This scribe can assure you that it wasn’t the boys’ morality but the shoddy ethics taught to them by their father that influenced their decision to show the FRB’s the way home.
 

It was lucky for the FRB’s that they followed the youthful guides, as Oral Banger and Able Semen were confused by a check as they returned to the tea fields.  The tricky twosome found their lead disappear as Buffalo Bill, Jock Block and Loose Stool raced past them.
 

The FRBs finished in a bit over an hour, with the walkers finishing about half an hour later.  Unfortunately as the sun went down NamRon was notified that a pair of Kiwi/Thai hashers had yet to finish.  With a large gulp to finish his beer, he jumped on his motorbike and revved off to save them.  Minutes later, all three returned to a friendly ribbing, NamRon for his treacherous trail, the Kiwis for their directional impairment.

The circle was home to plenty of jokes and adult beverages as many hash virginities were lost and a new group of Hash officials were elected (though by which exact means of democracy your newly elected hash scribe does not know).  Hands were shaken, cups were sucked dry, songs were sung and the 10th Chiang Rai Anniversary Hash came to a close.  The ‘On On’ dinner proved both delicious and strategic, with numerous hashers continuing the party afterward at the Boon Rawd Festival less than a kilometer away.
 

For the record a completely fresh set of faces were “elected” to take the CR Hash into its 11^th year with Oral Banger as GM, Cop Out as hash cash, Crash as hash beer and Loose Stool as scribe (who penned this report except for the last paragraph.)  

Nov. 16th Anniversary Hash Driving Directions

The Nov. 16th hash is our anniversary hash so hopefully it will be a bit special. It will start at 4 pm at Namron's farm due to its proximity to the Singha Boonrawd Farm Festival which just happens to be taking place that night! At the festival, there will be live music, balloon rides, activities and lots of Singha beer so the plan for the evening is as follows:
Hash from approx. 4 pm to 6 pm (swimming after the hash is encouraged)
Circle from approx. 6 - 6:30 pm
Dinner at Baizon Restaurant: 6:30 - 7:30 pm
Boonrawd Festival: 7:30 pm onwards

Please be so kind as to add a comment to this page (down below) and let me know if you will be attending the on-on dinner so we can give the restaurant a reasonably accurate head count. There will be fried rice, chicken with cashew nuts, a mixed vegetable dish, 3 flavor fish and Thai Chicken Soup. (only 150 baht!)

If you plan to swim, bring a towel. If you plan to go to dinner and the festival, bring a change of clothes.

Diving directions are as follows: drive south on either the Old Chiang Mai road (route 1211) or the Superhighway. If you are on the superhighway, turn right at the traffic light near the White Temple and go approx. 5 km on route 1208 until you meet up with the Old Chiang Mai Road. When you get to the village of Suan Dok, look for HHH signs - below is a map.


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Motorcycles can park inside the gate, cars please park outside of the wall.

Oct. Hash Report

The October hash was a boisterous affair hared by Crash (and his American sidekick) at Crash’s house in Pu Plai Fah Estate. It was attended by 42 hashers, both young and old. Right away Crash showed his own unique setting style by hiding the paper behind trees and putting himself at the front of the runners, guiding them along. The first back-check was the longest of all-time for Chiang Rai – approximately 250 m. that left the usual front runners confused and FAR behind. Luckily, the hare and entourage were moving at a snail’s pace so the FRB’s were soon able to catch up. After leading us on a tour of the estate, the hare took us out into the rice fields and eventually to a meditation wat. This is where the checks again became deviously tricky including one long false trail. Luckily Nok Easy and Lost Samurai were amongst the front runners. They were able to solve the checks that Namron, Able Semen and other veteran hashers could not. Rain had fallen prior to the start of the hash and the roads up to and down from the wat were especially slippery, ice skates would have been the most appropriate foot gear. After the climb and descent, the course went back into the rice fields and at yet another hard check we lost Oral Banger and Ninja who, while checking, found paper leading back to the temple (and then ultimately back to the house.) Oral Banger claimed to be the first in but having missed over half the hash, his claim is in dispute, however no one disputes that he was the first to start drinking beer. The last half of the run was in the rolling hills to the south of Pu Plai Fah. Since the rain had stopped and the sun had come out, hashers who looked up were treated to beautiful mountain views and ethereal clouds. The last 300 m. or so was through thick shiggy that appeared to have been recently cut. Hashers speculated that Crash had sent his missus out to weed-whack the day before while he made sure the beer was up to par. The pink ribbons that were supposed to materialize for the on-in were ignored by the hashers who raced to get the savory BBQ chicken with peanut sauce that awaited them. Ranger Danger’s sprint got him to the on-in first. The circle was entertaining and not too long. There were a fair number of virgins, one of whom commented to the scribe “hashing is kind of an agreeable religion.” One highlight included an attempt to rename “Taking the Pithe” but the suggestion “Beercelona” which garnered the most votes was not acceptable to our Spaniard who argued that it is impossible for a true Catalonian to accept that a name that had anything to do with Barcelona. We will need to rename him something worse for next time so I recommend starting to think about it – maybe “Whips and Chains” in honor of the Spanish Inquisition or “Nacho Crotcho” – the Spanish way of getting rid of aggressive ladyboys. Finally, Crash’s friend suggested that the CR Hash has gained a loveable rogue in Crash. We can certainly confirm the rogue part! At least his better half keeps him on the straight and narrow. We hope to see you for the anniversary run on Nov. 16th starting at the Chiang Rai Zoo, a real barrel of monkeys!

Driving Directions for Oct. 19th Hash

Start time:  3:30 p.m.

Final destination -  Pu Plai Fah housing development No. 377/3,  approx. 12 km south of Chiang Rai on rt. 1208
Lat Long Coordinates:  19.835740, 99.728420

Directions:

Go South on Rt 1 (main North-South highway into Chiang Rai) to White Wat (Wat Rong Khun).  This is the intersection with rt 1208.  There is a stoplight here.  Turn right onto rt 1208 (enjoy the view of the White Wat as you pass and watch out to not run down awestruck tourists.)

     Continue on for 4 km.  Turn left on small soi with a sign for dumplings (HHH sign).  Go 800 m and through the Pu Plai Fah housing archway.  Go up a small hill half way and turn right at the HHH sign.

  Go 200 m and turn right on first small drive. (HHH sign)  1st house on right.  Park on road (watch out for deep drainage ditches).

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Sept. Hash Report

    The September hash was set by virgin hare Oral Banger along with his 4 legged mate Ninja. 46 hashers, a mixed group of novices and veterans, showed up to enjoy the scenery of Nang Lae Nai and see what the fledgling hare had in store. After the hare brief Oral Banger gingerly guided the hashers to the start of the trail only to have them go straight up a steep slope and without a check abruptly turned back down. Even the veteran hashers were unable to find the paper and after 10 minutes of checking everyone was cursing the hare (who was enjoying himself by sitting in the river drinking a beer, chuckling at the lot of us.) Luckily, Stoned who just returned from a 3.5 year hiatus, was able to put everyone back on track by finding a wad of paper hidden deep in the woods. After sliding and falling down the hill (Long and Hard proved especially adept at this) the hashers found the rest of the path was flat but longer than advertised – the short trail turned out to be 6 km and the long trail 8 km. The trail was mainly on gravel road but with some cement roads, rice fields, orchards and farmer’s backyards thrown into the mix.
    Being especially diabolical, Oral Banger had arranged to have some skittish cows tied up in the middle of the trail so that hashers had to take turns sprinting for safety one by one as the cows thrashed around on their ropes fearing for their lives. The hare also set many checks which kept the runners together until one exceptionally long false trail took the FRBs 200+ meters out and resulted in the younger runners searching the hillside in the wrong direction. After that check the lead was shared by only 3 hashers - Chester, Stuart and Namron. Not long after nearly getting mauled by the cows, Stuart went the wrong way at a check and ended up getting too close to a farmhouse with 3 large guard dogs. Suddenly it was as though Usain Bolt was in our midst – Stuart came sprinting down the hill at breakneck speed. Even the dogs were flabbergasted at his fleetness of foot and stopped chasing him to admire his dash. The only thing faster is Shocking downing a beer! The FRBs got back in 1 hour 20 minutes and had time to sit in the stream and drink with Oral Banger for about 40 minutes before all the walkers arrived.
    The circle was led by GM Able Semen recently released from hospital, demonstrated that rumors of his retirement were a few months premature. There were 3 virgin hashers – the bearded boyfriend of Doesn’t Cum who managed not only to come but to get wet while sitting in the river and two other virgins who looked as ready to ride motorcycles around the course as to walk it. Stoned was welcomed back to the circle by Wirgin Bluce who declared that he is the only GM in the history of our family-friendly hash to celebrate his victory by immediately absconding to Australia. Do It Yourself attempted to act as a lawyer in Stoned’s defense and after having all the ex-GM’s raise their hands asked, “Do you blame Stoned for not wanting to be associated with such a group?” We tried to give out hash names to Kim, the girlfriend of Loose Stool, and Stuart, our hard charging ex-quarterback hasher. However we failed at both attempts. Even though Kim was given the name “Bottom’s Up” in honor of Shocking's lecherous admiration of her derriere, the mismanagement committee has since recognized the error in our ways and has chosen to rescind that name since it has already been used.
    Just before the circle closed, Nam Ron proposed that during the cool season, the CR hash be held 2x a month. Most agreed but there was less enthusiasm for the idea of a joint outstation with Chiang Mai hash. Many hands went up to volunteer to lay trails which is the key to our hashing experience. See hare line page with our thanks to those who make the effort.
    Our thanks also go to Wild Woman who grilled pieces of chicken and to Crash's better half who produced an outstanding avocado dip to go with the potato chips. The circle closed as darkness descended and 14 still hungry hashers went to an on-on-on dinner at a fish restaurant just down the road. See you next month!

Driving Directions to Sept. 21st Hash

Saturday 21st September: Start 4-00pm prompt　 LOCATION----Nang Lae Nai Waterfall, Chiang Rai DIRECTIONS Head north from Chiang Rai on the Super Highway (#1), continuing north through the Chiang Rai Rajabhat University intersection in Ban Du. About 1 km past the Rajabhat intersection there are some traffic lights. Continue north through the lights and the turn off to Nang Lae Nai is about 400 meters past the lights. Turn left here. The first HHH sign will be here and there are some yellow flags and a red sign saying “Nang Lae Nai Waterfall”. Follow this road for about 7 kms into the forestry area leading up to Nang Lae Nai waterfall. On the right there are some salas and a creek. This will be the meeting spot. It would be a good idea to prepare for wet weather and muddy trails. ON ! ON ! Oral Banger

Aug. Hash Report

The August 17th hash was set by our Japanese contingent of Lost Samurai and Mile High. 33 hashers turned out, including many of the English teachers from the local schools and universities. At the hare brief Lost Samurai mentioned the possibility of finding wild mushrooms on the trail and Oral Banger and Loose Stool got especially excited. (Since neither of them was able to finish at the front of the pack, we can only assume they had success.) The trail was suspiciously similar to the one from the previous year but since many of the younger hashers weren’t around at that time, it was virgin territory for them. However, even the experienced FRBs had difficulty finding the correct path as the hares were especially duplicitous with their false trails. The course was only 5 km if you managed stayed on paper the whole way but at least 1.5 km further for those breaking the checks. The FRBs got to the circle in about an hour and it took another 45 minutes or so for the walkers to arrive. Two of the front runners – Bill and Chester not only ran fast, but were fast to leave because they had dates that evening (which means we still haven’t given Bill a hash name.) FRB Brian, in honor of being such a nice guy, got the name Missionary Position. After a long hiatus, the three twisted sisters came out for their 3rd run and managed to secure hash names - in honor of her bout with Dengue, Melinda got the name “Laid Up”, Susan living up to her wicked witch reputation got the name “Baby Burner” and Hannah known chiefly for missing appointments, got the apposite name “Doesn’t Cum.” Namron, having the voice of a crow (according to Shocking,) made the hashers endure more hash songs and having ample time to drink before the circle started, was especially generous in giving out hash patches (which had been stored in Shocking’s closet, slated to go on EBay.) This gesture earned the wrath of Wirgin Bluce who has had a history of playing Scrooge in the Christmas school play in his native Canada. However, the hare patches were retained and have to be earned by setting a trail (one which actually includes checks and cannot be driven in a car.) Oral Banger is slated to set the September trail, Crash is taking October and Namron has November. The hares amply supplemented by Pat on the Back and Wild Woman, provided refreshments for the circle so in the end everyone left with a fully belly. On! On! Hash Scribe Nam Ron

Directions to Wild Mushroom Hash on Aug 17th

                                       Start 4:00 p.m. prompt　

                                     LOCATION----BAAN SUN SAAI, A.MUANG CHIANGRAI

                                                                   DIRECTIONS

As some of members have noticed that the location of the meeting point is the same as Hash #105 July 17, 2012.

Head south the Super Hwy(#1) passing Big C and 4 way traffic lights at the#1020.

Continue along the #1 Hwy, pass the traffic lights at the new bus terminal.(Do not turn left to the bus station).
You will see ESSO gas station in about 300m on your left side, drive further down about 3 kilometers,

you will come to see another gas station(CALTEX) on your left side and the first HHH sign.
Turn left onto the paved Soi(the corners are the CALTEX and the Wat Ban Pong Sali) on your left side. (Do not pass the Wat, make sure to turn the Soi to the left at the HHH sign.).

Drive along the winding road in the rice fields and village houses(Moo baan) about 1.7 Kilometers.

And then you will see a narrow concrete bridge with the second HHH sign on your right side over the Mae Nam Lao river, turn right to cross the bridge onto the rice fields both sides,

proceed along this road for 500m ,and come to a narrow water way or an irrigation canal.

Park up along the water way. Allow Approximately 20 minutes from Big C.

P.S.

Like last year, hopefully members can pick up some wild mushrooms towards the end of the trek, of course it depends on the weather and climate though.

Due to the recent rainy weather, please prepare to be wet.

ON ! ON !

Cheers,

Lost Samurai

Mile High

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Run #117 July 20, 2013 Run Report

Location: Wild Woman Farm near Santiburi Hares: Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman The July 20th hash turned out to be a pleasant affair as the weather was perfect – cool but no rain. It was hared by Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman at their farm which strangely enough is less than 500 m. away from their main house in Santiburi. The trail was effectively the same trail Wirgin Bluce has set in various combinations and permutations for the last 5 years. However, true to form, Wirgin Bluce set some exceptionally hard checks that initially threw off the FRBs, but not for long as equally true to form, Nam Ron arrogently a ssumed he knew the way forward and ended up running at least a third of the trail in reverse. The mismash of paper then so confused the Second Walking Bastards, notably Lost Samurai, Nok Easy and On Fire that they ended up getting lost. This obliged the long suffering Wirgin Bluce to accompany a worried Fired Up in a vain attempt to rescue the missing SWBs. Meanwhile the rest of the befuddled hashers could not believe that a 6 km hash could take over 2 hours! A howling two year old, Intira however could not be fooled and she thus compelled her parents, Comes Twice and Blows Twice to head back home. Although it didn’t rain during the hash, it had rained prior so the trails were enjoyably sloppy and even the most prudish of the hashers returned with muddy feet. Two unnamed hashers showed up and ran hard. Just for fun we will call them Brian and Bill. Bill was thrown by Wirgin Bluce’s checks and eventually faded after venturing off on one false trail after another. Namron was able to stay ahead of Brian due to his local knowledge of the trails but after the on-in, Brian turned on the afterburners and left Namron cursing for calling “on-on” at all the checks Brian got wrong. After the hares eventually retrieved the lost flock, the sermon began with Namron leading the hymns. We were graced by the presence of Boy Magnet who after a six year hiatus came back from China to model the latest fashion of hash shirts. She looked simply stunning in the sapphire blue shirt and gave a wag of the tail for Bill, who to the astonishment of all refused to cough up 200 baht for such a prize. However, we did take a note and next month we will have one of our young handsome boys model the shirt again especially for him. (We did manage to sell 2 hash shirts to the more sensible hashers including Farang Friendly who were indeed charmed by Boy Magnet's magnetism.) We also honored our newest member Crash. However, since he couldn’t remember ANY hash songs after doing 2000+ hashes Namron serenaded him with “He’s the Meanest.” Crash gave his surprisingly fit 3 year old daughter, Emily the chance to name herself and she came back with “Six.” (Must be related to the number of bullets in daddy’s gun.) Shocking was back in form and completed nearly the whole hash! We filled up the hare line until Feb. 2014 by unanimously voting to give the absent Oral Banger a chance to lay the Sept. hash and Crash the Oct. hash. Finally, Wild Woman, always the gracious hostess provided everyone with abundant amounts of pizza. Overall, a very enjoyable hash! On! On! Hash Scribe Nam Ron Supplemented by Hash Sec Wirgin Bluce

July 2013 Hash Report

The July 20^th hash turned out to be a pleasant affair as the weather was perfect – cool but no rain.  It was hared by Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman at their cottage which strangely enough is less than 500 m. away from their main house in Santiburi.  The trail was effectively the same trail Wirgin Bluce has set for the last 5 years but in reverse.  However, true to form, Wirgin Bluce set some exceptionally hard checks that not only threw off the FRBs, it also confused the Front Walking Bastards who ended up getting lost.  This included Lost Samurai, Nok Easy, On Fire and Fired Up.  Both Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman were needed to rescue the FWBs and the rest of the befuddled hashers who could not believe that a 6 km hash could take over 2 hours!  Although it didn’t rain during the hash, it had rained prior so the trails were enjoyably sloppy and even the most prudish of the hashers returned with muddy feet.  Two unnamed hashers showed up and ran hard.  Just for fun we will call them Brian and Bill.  Bill was thrown by Wirgin Bluce’s checks and faded after venturing off on one false trail after another.  Namron was able to stay ahead of Brian due to his local knowledge of the trails but after the on-in, Brian turned on the afterburners and left Namron cursing for calling “on-on” at all the checks Brian got wrong.  After the hares eventually retrieved the lost flock, the sermon began with Namron leading the hymns.  We were graced by the presence of Boy Magnet who came back from her business trip to China in order to model the newest colors of hash shirts.  She looked simply stunning in the sapphire blue shirt and gave a wag of the tail for Bill, who to the astonishment of all refused to cough up 200 baht for such a prize.   However, we did take a note and next month we will have one of our young handsome boys model the shirt again especially for him.  (We did manage to sell 2 hash shirts to the more sensible hashers who were indeed charmed by Boy Magnets magnetism.)  We also honored our newest member Crash.  However, since he couldn’t remember ANY hash songs after doing 2000+ hashes Namron honored him with “He’s the Meanest.” Crash gave his surprisingly fit 3 year old daughter the chance to name herself and she came back with “Six.”  (Must be related to the number of bullets in daddy’s gun.)  Shocking was back in form and completed nearly the whole hash!  We filled up the hare line until Feb. 2014 by unanimously voting to give Oral Banger a chance to lay the Sept. hash and Crash the Oct. hash.  Finally, Wild Woman, always the gracious host provided everyone with abundant amounts of pizza.  Overall, a very enjoyable hash!