Christmas Hash - December 19th - Gift exchange and food

Ki Wee-knee and Yellow Beaver are hosting the Christmas hash this year. They will cook up something special for us so please bring an extra 100B if you're planning to stuff your face eat with us. It sounds promising!

There will also be a gift exchange. If you want to participate, please bring a wrapped present of about 200B.

See you there!

-Frozen Ring

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Info

Hosts Yellow Beaver and Ki Wee-knee look forward to seeing you and are preparing their summer house and garden for the festivities.

Date: December 19th - 3 PM

Food: 100B extra on top of the usual 100B (non drinkers) and 200B (drinkers)

Gift exchange: Wrapped present of about 200B

Directions: 

1-On the Super Highway head out of Chiang Rai to the White Temple. 

2-Turn right at the lights.  

3-Drive down that road for about 4km and you will see the turnoff into Pu Plai Fah estate on left. (Pic). 

4-HHH signs will take you to the house.   

If you need further directions ph 090 5756 297.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November Hash

The Chang Rai Hash is (contrary to some reports) nowhere near dead but a near record 41 attendees on Saturday November 21st prove that it is indeed alive and kicking. The Hash was held at Huay Sak Lake and may have been so well attended because of the beautiful setting and the hope of gaining office at the election (or to help in voting in reluctant new office bearers as Frozen Ring, Pussy Rainbow, H2Hoe and Virgin Bruce will attest) and the food and beer that accompanies such occasions,

But I digress - back to the Hash. After all the catch-ups, intros, welcomes and forking outs of money we were off. From the writer's perspective the run itself was a relatively uneventful affair. The maiden FRBs  who were soon to be dubbed Comes Down Hill and the Stroker, along with her maybe current or future beau, whose name escapes me, led us up the garden path on more than one occasion. After running through bee hives and road works we realized not spotting paper for up to 100 metres is a sign to turn around, despite the willingness of several FRBS to just keep on running and have-a-chat. A long stretch on hot open road dodging vehicles (which could pretty much describe almost the entirety of the FRB'S Hash perspective) did lead to a pleasant jaunt down a shady trail. Unfortunately this led to the same bitumen road we drove on to get to the Hash.

With a quorum of FRBs being attacked by several packs of puppies distracting us from paper trail spotting we ended up missing the trail and following The Stroker back to the lake. Comments included "Worst Hash Ever!" from Oral Banger, he can talk. The Walkers when they returned had an  entirely different  perspective on the trail, maybe because they actually followed it and commented positively on Scotch on the Rocks trail.


Hemorrhoids were developed to an embryonic stage by those instructed to sit on especially large ice blocks for the circle.Virgins were Rebecca and Alan (The Stroker made them come),  Ox and Zach (Comes Down Hill mtc),  David (Oral Banger mtc),  Emily (Ring Master mtc). Named Hashers were Nikki: The Stroker, Michelle: Comes Down Hill, Kirsten: Ring Master  and Lois: Good for a Ride.

The election (held under mobile phone light) resulted in many hesitant and half-drunk new supremos. Voted in were Frozen Ring (GM), Pussy Rainbow (Hashscribe) and Virgin Bruce (Hashbeer).

Next Hares for the Xmas hash will be Kiwi and Yellow Beaver. That is all.

Directions - November 21st Hash - ELECTIONS!

Scotch on the Rocks is the hare for this upcoming Hash. 

Her and her husband Nit will serve some food so the mismanagement committee can be selected based on rational and logical arguments (and not the drunk ramblings of hungry people).

There is also a lake in the vicinity and swimming is possible.

See you Saturday!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time: 3 PM (early start for the elections)

Location: Huay Sak Reservoir

Directions

1-From the Big C, head South and turn left at the next set of traffic lights. It is the 1020 (sign posted for Thoeng). 

2-Travel on this road past the turn off for Santiburi. 

3-After Kilometre Stone 14 you will come to a set of traffic lights,TURN RIGHT at the lights for Hua Sak (there will also be a HHH sign). 

4- Proceed along this road for 3 Kilometres.

5-Park up at the Reservoir when you see the HHH sign.

Allow 35 minutes from Big C. 

(Picture may or may not be representative of the Hua Sak reservoir)

October 17th - Write up

16 Hashers showed up, including 2 virgins: Bruce and Kanav.

Bruce lives in Chiang Rai with his wife, Lois, who showed up for the last hash.

Kanav is a teacher at Mae Fah Luang University.


The trail


*I was not present at this hash, so I will extrapolate from past experiences.*

Oral Banger was the hare for the trail. He showed up late. 

The trail started out with a *insert one: massive river/highway/electrical fence/snake pit* crossing. 

Thankfully,all Hashers managed to get across thanks to Oral Bangers' *insert one: boat/dirtbike/girlfriend/cobra*.

He announced a *insert one: very short/very long/very pleasant/very easy* trail but he was intentionally misleading as the trail was  *insert one, two or three: insanely hard/insanely long/insanely non-existant*.

It took over *insert one: 5 hours/2 days/5 minutes* for all the hashers to make it back.

Everybody's opinion of Oral Banger *insert one: remains the same/has greatly improved*.




Circle

Oral Banger, a man of surprises, made a big announcement: he's getting hitched and leaving for Dubai. It turns out that teacher/student relationships are not as frowned upon there.

Oral Banger's mom, Linda, got named "The Producer" as she "produced" this exceptional being.

Various Hashers got humiliated, songs were sang and a bunch of beer was drunk. 



Next Hash: Elections!

The current GM, Cop Out, will use her great powers of involuntary volunteering to name the next mismanagement committee because (let's be honest) no one will ever volunteer for any of those crappy jobs. Except maybe for Hash Scribe: that's pretty cool.

Hares: Scotch on the Rocks, Spartapuss (spoiler alert: one of them will choke)


-Frozen Ring

October 17th Hash - Directions

Oral Banger will be the Hare for the next Hash. He claims there will be no river crossings but knowing him, expect a few of the following:

• Caving
• Cobras
• Bungee jumping
• Hangliding
• Extreme ironing (do look it up)
• Roller derby
• Snorkeling in the river
• Tasers
• Snorkeling in the river with tasers
• Explosions
• Base jumping (wing suit optional)
• Lack of a proper paper trail 

You have been warned.

-Fozen Ring

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DIRECTIONS

Date:    Saturday 17th October

Time:    16:00

Hare:    Oral Banger

Location:  Ban Du

Directions:

-Take a left turn after Ban Du market on the road to Pong Prabhat waterfall.

-The meeting point will be at Oral Banger's house which is about 2 kms past Pong Prabhat hot springs.

-You will see a small orange building on the right with a rice field behind it, and Oral Banger's house is on the left with the cement and brown picket fence. 

-Signs will be clearly posted. 

He has promised that there will be no rivers crossings...

Hope to see you there,

On On!!

September 26th - Write Up

You know you’re not doing your job as scribe very well when the Hare for the next Hash sends you directions before you actually post the last write up.

I’ll save Wirgin Bruce some trouble and put it out there myself: shame on me.

This will be a short and sweet write up, as a piss poor write up is better than no write up at all. Right?

Shocking didn’t want to shock anyone and ignored Do It Yourself suggestions of making it a long and hard Hash, just like we like them. So we ended up with a nice stroll in the park: flat, short and uneventful. No one died, no one got lost, there were no rivers to cross and no mountain to scale… yep, pleasant, in a retirement home kind of way.

Thank God there was beer.

Well at least when Agent Orange finally showed up to unlock the trunk of his pickup. 

This would prove to be the most controversial moment of the hash. Here are the facts, you can decide who’s fault it was:

• Scotch On The Rocks tried opening the trunk. She concluded it was locked.
• No other Hashers could attempt to open it as there was too much bitching to be done about the situation.
• Agent Orange shows up and magically, the trunk is unlocked. He claims it always was…

Anyways, thanks to Shocking and Do It Yourself for providing us with some tasty food, if not an eventful Hash.

Circle

Virgins

Nicky (Teacher at Mae Fah Luang University)

Kristen (Who showed a bit late after winning the argument that a foreigner woman knows her way around Chiang Rai better than a Thai Tuk Tuk driver).

Next Hares

The GM learned some new tricks on her trip to Nigeria, particularly the art of making people involuntarily volunteering …

October: Titanic pulled out and is replaced by Oral Banger

November: Spartapuss and Scotch on the Rocks

December: Kiwi and Yellow Beaver

January: Bad Hobbit

-Frozen Ring

Directions for the next Hash - Saturday September 26, 4 PM

Time: 4PM
Hare: Shocking and Do lt yourself 

Directions

1-From the Big C head South

2-At the first set of traffic lights turn LEFT onto the 1020 Thoeng road,

3-Travel the 1020 till you come to Kilometre marker stone 9, start to slow down. 

4-200 metres after the marker, there is a soi on the LEFT hand side HHH sign just (before a recycling plant) turn into the soi.

5-Park up after 200 metres.

Comment from the hares

The trail is a very pleasant rural, scenic, flat course created by " Do it yourself ". There's no doubt Shocking will take the credit for it.

On On!

Do lt yourself & Shocking

Hares

What? No Hash today?

So you've noticed that it was the 3rd Saturday of the month and you got worried when you realized you have not gotten directions for it yet.

I would like to congratulate you on your organisational skills and keen sense of observation.

Well done!

But just like Wirgin Bruce, I'm going to have to diagnose you with ADD and a mild case of ineptitude.

Today's Hash is postponed to next week, to allow Hashers to participate in the Singha Park Trail Run. 

As it was stated in the last write up.

And in the "Hare Line" section of the site some 2 months ago.

And as specified by the GM at the 2 previous Hashes.

See you next week.

I'll post the directions as soon as Shocking sends them to me.  *hint* *hint*


Frozen Ring

August 22nd - Write Up

It was indeed a peculiar one: at night, in the city and punctuated by a couple of stops that you don’t normally find in a hash.

Only 12 hashers showed up. I assume it was because it was past most hashers’ bed time for a Saturday night.

Armed with flashlights and our lime green hash shirts, we headed to the deserted old airport and followed the chalk arrows into town, crossing over Phaholyothin Rd.

As usual, Oral Banger was in the lead (along with John when he wasn’t stopping to bum cigarettes). I guess it should not have been a surprise when they stopped paying attention to arrows and just proceeded to head to the Parclub out of habit. The FRBs had to do quite a bit of back tracking in in the bar area of Ratbumroong Rd., to the great amusement of bar patrons all around.

After a multitude of twists in turns in the obscure sois of the area, we emerged on Sankorgchang Rd. and made our way to Jetyod Rd.. We were welcomed at the Malabar to sit and catch our breath and were offered some hydration. Hydration was provided in the form of beer and tequila and air was mostly provided in the form of cigarettes.

Invigorated by the healthy break, FRBs set forth to continue the Hash while the walkers opted for a shortcut to the next pit stop. Walkers are smart people.

The FRBs, on the other hand, ended up in the Saturday night market. Word to the wise: if you want to go through a crowd swiftly, wear bright colors and sweat profusely. People will make room for you to go through.

Everybody ended at the new pizza place next to the night bazar (all except John, that is). Nothing motivates you to run like 4 slices of pizza, garlic bread and a couple of beers. That’s why it’s the #1 in-run snacks of so many long distance runners. 

(http://www.amazon.com/Ultramarathon-Man-Confessions-All-Night-Runner/dp/1585424803)

After that, my recollection is pretty iffy. The wall of food and booze obscured my memory and robbed me of any motivation I might have had.

I vaguely remember a circle on the steps of a monument to the Queen (which seemed like an arrestable offense to me). John also got named. Something along the lines of vomitrainboworaldiarrheaflamingunicornsourpusslolypopsmayhem. We’ll have to clear that up in the next circle.

Next Hash: September 26^th. Hare: Shocking.

See you then!

PS: If the pics look blurry, blame Spartapuss. She’s the official photograph and didn’t bother showing up. 

PPS: Thanks to Michelle for the pics. I find the blurriness of the pics is quite representative of the evening.

-Frozen Ring

Next Hash: Saturday August 22, 7 PM

This will be an exceptional hash, since it will depart from our usual way of doing things:

1. It’s at night
2. It’s in the city
3. It’s one week late

Here are the details

Hares:       Cop Out and Oral Banger

Time:        7 PM

Location:   In the parking lot of the Golf course/driving range at the Old Airport/Runway 

(Opposite the Piman Inn hotel)

Length :    7.5 KM (through the city)

Special considerations:

• Bring a flashlight
• Wear a hash T-shirt. If you show your shirt, you’ll get a snack along the way. (Hash shirts are on sale for a mere 300B. A great way to earn a snack and to visible to motorist thanks to the radiant green color.)
• The hash will start and end at the same point and will be followed by the usual circle, drinks and snack.
• For the foresight impaired: you might want to eat a little something before showing up.

-Frozen Ring

What happens when the Actual GM and the Previous GM get together to hare a Hash?

A postponed hash!

Since Cop Out and Oral Banger can't seem to figure out how a calendar works, the next Hash is pushed back a week to the 22nd of August. Isn't that fabulous?

Don't forget, it will be an exceptional Hash: in town at nighttime.  And since the Hares will have had an extra week to prepare, expect to be dazzled! (Just to be on the safe side though, we'll keep an ice block ready for them.)

So see you in 2 weeks!

Frozen Ring

July 18th - Write Up

A healthy group of 22 Hashers showed up for this one, proving once again that people are generally cheap bastards looking for a free meal.

Being the Hare, my job mostly consisted of taking care of the BBQ, drinking beer and countering Oral Banger’s poor sense of direction. Most of this write up is from second hand accounts, so it might be a bit off:

-It was the best trail ever. Laid out very clearly, nobody had ever seen the country side like that and the beauty of it brought tears to everybody’s eyes. The Hare should be nominated for a Nobel Prize.

-The buffaloes were not as happy to see the Hashers as they were to see the Hare. We can only speculate on the reasons. The smell, perhaps?

- Nobody went up the hill on the temple grounds, proving once again that Hashers are not only cheap bastards, they are also lazy bastards.

-Andrea, now known as Goes Down Easy (unrelated to the story), established that photography was an extreme sport if you don’t stop walking when you take a picture: She fell down and opened up a massive gash on her knee.

-While picking up some firewood, I got stung by a scorpion. It’s not that painful, really, after 4 or 5 beers.

-At some point, the FRBs “decided” they were on the false trail and sent back the walkers to the last check. The one spot of pink paper was perfectly visible on the red ground, Oral Banger: the Japanese contingent found it with no problem whatsoever.

-At about that moment, I got a call from Shocking that frantically explained the lost trail situation. The walkers tried doing “nothing”, and since that didn’t yield any results, they were all out of ideas. High on scorpion medication (aka: beer), I jumped on my scooter to rescue the stranded group.

-After some clear directions (read: me taking them by the hand, showing them the whole path and comforting the ones that were crying), the walkers were back on track. Except for Shocking who determined, thanks to his great medical knowledge, that it was time for him to take a preventive dose of scorpion medication.

-Getting back to the house, we found Iceberg (Titanic’s wife) mending the BBQ like a boss. Not only can she bake a killer banana cake, but she can cook too! Thanks!

The Hashers slowly trickled in after that, in an unusual order:

1-Asian efficiency: Mile High. Lost Samurai and Junichi (aka Bowled Over), H2Hoe. Ah yeah, and a token white person who probably slowed them down: newly arrived Michelle.

2-The usual FRBs (affably known as the headless chickens), closely followed by

3-The usual DFLs: those guys are never not last.

It was my first time as a Hare and Able Semen didn’t lie: it’s an awesome experience! Do try it if you get the chance.

-Frozen Ring

Circle

It was a really short circle: Hashers were busy stuffing their faces and expressing a complete disregard for the “no swimming for 2 hours after eating” rule.

Comments on the Hash

Too short. Not beautiful enough. Needed more angry buffaloes.

Named

Andrea is now known as: Goes Down Easy

Junichi is now known as: Bowled Over

Ohm is now known as: Mile High Maiden

Virgin

Michelle

Next Hares

August 15^th: Cop Out and Oral Banger. They plan one in town in the evening so mark the date!

September 26^th: Titanic. Date pushed back because of the Singha Park Trail Run (http://www.ama-events.com/upcoming-events/)

Next hash, July 18th: BBQ, RSVP!

I’ll be the hare for the next Hash. It will start and end at our house. There will be FREE FOOD and A POOL.

Please drop me a line to confirm your presence so I can guesstimate the food needed: info AT lesfortin dot com

Directions and time

The hash will start at 4 PM.

Our house is situated at the end of Huay Pla Kang, Soi 9. Just follow the signs to Wat Huay Pla Kang. Our street, Soi 9, is a 100 meters passed the main entrance of the temple.

1-From town, take the Maefarloung Bridge (the one that just got another lane added, close to Rimkok hotel) to go to the big Buddha, Wat Huay Pla Kang.

2-Continue straight for 2 km. You should see a picture of the King on your right, and there is a small market.

3-Turn right. Continue for 600m. Pass the main entrance of the temple.

4-Turn right on soi 9

5-Follow the road until you see a HHH sign at a 4 way intersection.

Google map link

GPS: 19.955073,99.815731

Frozen Ring and H2Hoe

June 20th - Write Up

Now that everybody made sure Namron was gone (but most probably because no free food was offered), only 10 hashers showed up for Able Semen’s Hash.

Due to some rain, the trail he had planned (going down Doi Chang) was flooded and impassable. He came up with a B trail at the last minute. So much so, he even showed up late to his own hash.

Able, being a practical man, decided to avoid confusion and to keep the 2 PM time for the hash, even though it was much closer than the original Doi Chang trail. How very fortunate for us: the sun was blasting at max UV so we did not feel cold at all on this shadeless trail.

Able warned us that some paper might have been displaced since the locals were eyeing him when he was laying the trail. Just to be sure we wouldn’t get lost, he tagged along for a big part of the trail, giving out directions to the DFLs while the FRBs were working hard on their heat strokes.

After a bit too many head on encounters with Wirgin Bruce and the DFLs who claimed to be on the right path because “Able told them so”, I decided to take a break and talk to Mr Semen about the virtues of water, sunscreen and letting other people do the dirty work for you. Twenty minutes later, when I caught up with the whole group, they were at a dead end, with their fingers tightly jammed in different orifices of their own bodies. So much for the DFLs doing any kind of work.

I backtracked about 300 meters, found the trail and hesitated for a long time before calling the “On! On!”. Since my wife was among the “other” group, I finally decided to call it out. I guess the sun was affecting my judgement more than I thought.

We eventually all reached the end of the first leg of the hash. We all refueled on water and were on our way to the finish… ALL FOUR OF US: Bad Hobbit, H2Hoe, Wirging Bruce and myself.

Shame, shame, shame on the rest of the hashers that we will call Spartapuss, Lost Samurai, Mile High, Matso, On Fire and Fired Up, to preserve their anonymity.

All around great hash from Able Semen. If that was a B Hash, we can’t wait for the A Hash!

Circle

Comments on the Hash

Cold. Not enough hills. Could have used more sun.

Black is the new black

Bad Hobbit

Officially appointed photographer

Spartapuss

Eulogy of Haredom

Able Seemen

Very receptive to suggestion (next hare)

Frozen Ring

Grievances from grumpy old men (I will take them up to the boss when she’s back)

“Where’s the ice block? My ass is warm” –Wirgin Bruce

“Is Saturday the best day? Because if it’s the Sunday, I can’t make it.” –Wirgin Bruce

“The coolers need to be replaced!” –Able Seemen

Awesome suggestion for a hash

Pub crawl at night (as first done by Namron some years ago)

Showed up 2 hours late

John