Report of Run #51: Saturday, January 19, 2008

Report of Run #51: Saturday, January 19, 2008

Hares: Helping Hand assisted by Hand Cock

Location: South bank of Mae Kok River west of Chiangrai Beach

Twenty five showed up for S2ATO 51st hash including twelve male adults and eight females plus four kids. As usual all the adult males were expats and all the Thai adults were females. The kids were a rainbow in between.

Helping Hand started the group off with a helping hand. Adolescents Spare Wheel and his side kick Dollar set a fast pace from the beginning. Unfortunately neither was particularly cognoscente of the rules governing the use of paper. They ignored the first check and happily led the pack for another ten minutes until Reverse Thruster asked who had last seen paper. At this point the group was in the middle of an empty flood plain which required the hashers to scatter in every direction. Doesn’t Matter Horn discovered a trail above the river bank and Do It Yourself ran straight up the steep bank scattering paper as he went. The crowd tried to follow but a herd of twenty cows began to chase Super Glue and Pat on the Back. Young Darling was first to reach the bank but slipped half way up. The sight of blood prompted the sweep Hand Cock to declare that the trail headed in a different direction.

The trail squeezed between the river’s edge and a suburban populated area. There were tracks crisscrossing the area from every direction. It seems our hares could not resist a crossing without making a check. Hence there were checks every 200 meters. However the narrow expanse of the coastal plain required multiple false trail lines to prevent hashers from falling upon “in” trail on the way out and vice versa. Unfortunately Do It Yourself unconstrained by the absent Do It Better, finding himself along on a different papered track, endeavored improve the trail by running in reverse order spreading paper where it was missing along the way. This created multiple parallel tracks adding unneeded complexity to the initial efforts of our Helping Hand.

In the absence of the beloved Nam Ron and Barefoot Beer Lao Bob, MANipulator declined to compete and contented herself walking amongst the masses. Between Wild Woman, Joy Stick, the two Oileds and Tight Socket she was rarely at a loss for company.

The booze was securely locked in the scribe’s vehicle. So FRB’s had to suffer with coffee at a nearby resort until Wirgin Bluce appeared with the keys. They quickly made up for lost time. Eventually G.M. Shocking was torn long enough from his bottle to call a circle. Ably assisted by Pat on the Back and daughter Boy Magnet there was never a shortage of toasting materials. The hares were so tickled to be honoured, in spite of their efforts that they danced a little jig to celebrate. Mark, son of Young Darling, was likewise toasted as a virgin. Young Darling got his name in recognition of his proclivity to preface all men’s names with “young,” regardless of age and all women’s names with “darling” regardless of looks and disposition. Various epithets were proposed for his better half Pom including Pommy Bastard, Pom Express, Old Pom and Old Fruit but the decision was put off to another time, should she ever reappear. Likewise Rob, who runs a pickling business, attracted names like Thai Prick, Thai Pecker and Pickles but as this was only his second run, the G.M. postponed the selection to next month.

Ever the long range planner the G.M. called Loose Spoke into the circle in recognition of his willingness to hare the February hash. Thus lubricated, the spirit of volunteerism flowed through the pack and soon Flaps and Do It Yourself came forward to do March and May respectively.

The G.M. expressed a desire for club memorabilia particularly t-shirts. Such items are usually issued to mark special events like our recent 50th hash or to recognize individuals who have done a fixed number of hashes like mile stones. The greatest challenge is to identify some graphic design capacity. Wirgin Bluce promised to inquire among other hash groups about how they got their art work done.

Flaps took over the circle in order to criticize Young Darling. The latter had polluted the environment by spilling his blood upon pristine bank side. He didn’t even stop to clean up the mess he created, after scattering red-tinted sand in every direction. With this admonishment to be environmentally friendly, the circle broke up to resume discussions at the follow up On! On!

Notes by Wirgin Bluce

Hash Saturday January 19, 2008

Helping Hand is the hare at the fifty-first Chiangrai "Start Slowly and Taper Off" Hash on Saturday January 19 beginning at 4:30 pm. Driving instructions are as follows:

The hash will begin from the parking area of an orchid farm on the west end of town on the river bank near Chiang Rai beach. To get there:
Drive west out of Chiang Rai on Thanon Ratcha Yotha (the old road to Chiang Mai). Turn right at the first set of traffic lights (called Den Haa see HHH sign). The road passes the military barracks. Turn left at the first major turning on the left (HHH sign) and drive towards Rai Mae Fah Luang. Turn right (HHH sign) opposite the entrance to Rai Mae Fah Luang through an entrance gate to Country Homes. Follow the road through an S-bend - left then right (HHH sign) and then take the first left (HHH sign). Follow this road all the way to the end (almost a kilometer) and park on the edge of the river. There are about 8 parking spaces there.

From the Little Duck Hotel: Head north on the A1 and turn left at the first traffic lights. Follow that road (Thanon San Khok Chang) through 3 major intersections (traffic lights) ie over Phalyothin, Sunambin and Ratchyotha. Go past the military barracks and then take the first left turn (HHH sign) once past the barracks. That road veers right after 500m and becomes the road out to Rai Mae Fah Luang. Turn right opposite the entrance to Rai Mae Fah Luang into Country Homes (HHH sign). Follow the road through a left bend then run right (HHH sign). Turn left at the first opportunity thereafter (HHH sign). Follow this road all the way to the end and park on the edge of the river.

Plan on twenty minutes from the Little Duck Hotel.

On! On!
Wirgin Bluce