Run Report #52: February 16, 2008

Report of Run #52: Saturday, February 16, 2008

Hare: Loose Spoke

Location: Ban Du Forest below Pong Pra Baht Waterfalls near Huai Luang Reservoir

The 52d run turned out by some odd coincidence to be remarkably similar to the 41st run (March 17, 2008). Even the hare was the same. It started and ended in the same location although the routes out and in seemed to be reversed. The report of that 41st run is below.

The hardest part of the run was finding the starting point. One was to travel 7.5 kilometers from the Asia Highway and then do a sharp left where the signs point right to Pong Pra Baht. That was our hare’s way of favouring those who can read Thai. The Huai Luang Reservoir was to be just around some corner. That of course is where we found the reservoir after traveling several kilometers along the road. Those who kept the faith and progressed this far, were then rewarded by a series of four reassuring signs as they drove ever deeper into the wilderness.

A total of 28 people showed up including three kids. Seventeen were farang of whom all but three were men. There were eight adult Thais, all female except for one. Nine were virgins, three female and six males: three hailed from England, three more came from Belgium, there was one Australian and two Thai boys.

All newly arrived hashers were immediately greeted by Hash Cash, Do It Yourself with his hand out to collect the meet’s contribution. Names thus recorded in his attendance list stand as concrete testimony as to how one wasted this Saturday afternoon.

The run began full of trepidation. The Hash Beer had yet to arrive. Her better half, Hand Cock confessed that Helping Hand had escaped to Chiang Mai but promised to appear before the run ended with his vehicle fully loaded with iced beer.

Some of the virgins never miss a trick. Uncle Colin loaded a back pack with water and compelled his ten-year old nephew Bart to carry it. Fifteen-year old brother Bond was wise enough to hide at the time. His better half Deidre avoided confrontation by turning back after the first hill.

Nam Ron accompanied by Bush Wacker and closely followed by MANipulator, Do It Yourself, Stoned and Pickled Prik set a fast pace up the hill. By the time they got to the second hill, they literally smelled the freshly arrived beer. Ignoring paper and the protestations of the sweeping Loose Spoke, they turned in the direction of the wind and arrived back at the parking lot just in time to welcome the belated Hand Cock.

The more virtuous hashers like Well Oiled, Doesn’t Matter Horn, Scotch on the Rocks and your faithful correspondent led the unsuspecting virgins around the well-littered course. All remarked upon bucolic scene while politely ignoring the white mess of paper which the hare had left behind. Virgins who couldn’t maintain this leisurely pace joined the stragglers headed by Wild Woman, Oiled Well, Boy Magnet, and Pat on the Back inevitably accompanied by Superglue. These recidivists finally arrived at the finishing point almost an hour after the short-cutting Front Running Bastards.

By this time the time the FRBs abetted by the temporary Hash Beer, had drunk far more than the club could afford in beer so the G.M. Shocking quickly called for a circle. The hare, Loose Spoke and virgins were honoured with the usual down-downs then attention shifted to Rob, whose name selection had been deferred from the last gathering. The crew quickly voted to name him “Pickled Prik” in recognition of his pickling contribution to local cuisine.

Past G.M. Nam Ron then took over and ordered this faithful correspondent, Wild Woman, Well Oiled and Oiled Well into the circle. Why, he asked, did these folks arrive late. Well Oiled protested that he did not arrive late. According to him, the others arrived early. No deed, good or bad, goes unpunished and hence these culprits were also honoured with the usual down-downs.

The business thus concluded the group broke up, led off by the hare, Loose Spoke who was eager to get away from the mess he had created. Too late we realized that the better half of Doesn’t Matter Horn had managed to elude a name despite attending at least three times. That outstanding piece of business will not be neglected at the next circle.

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce


Report of Run#41 March 17, 2007

Location: Baan Du Forest below Pong Pra Baht Waterfalls near Huai Luang Reservoir

Hare: Loose Spoke

It was a demographically different group that showed up this time. Altogether there were 34 people. Fifteen were female and almost half of these were expatriates. There were three pre-teens, all boys, who could race around their elders. About a third of the group claimed to be virgins but some of these had actually hashed elsewhere. One of these, Bill the Vet(eran) kept up with FRB, Nam Ron despite six decades “maturity”. His better half, Elma is the first African to hash in Chiangrai. A minority of four conversed in French.

The trail headed down a broad dirt road. When the Hash Beer announced that Oiled Well would stay to deliver beer upon arrival, the two FRBs took off and were never seen again. In their eagerness to get back, they spared no time to break checks and spread paper.

The rest ambled down the road and rested at the first check. Only a few diligent souls bothered to search the smaller footpaths. Your faithful scribe together with Child Beater and Scotch-on-the-Rocks stumbled upon paper and led the troop to the next check. Then the scribe took a wrong turn at the next check and by the time he returned to the main route, everyone had passed him by. This included the hare/sweep, Loose Spoke who didn’t realize that it was his job to shepherd the lost sheep.

The walkers were having such a good time talking that they missed the next check and walked another 10 minutes before anyone noticed that there was no paper. Thus the last became first, and your scribe found himself in the lead again. Wannika became very clever. She suspected that the next stretch was a big loop so she ran through a check and stumbled on paper again. However she got confused and followed paper in the wrong direction until she encountered the on-coming masses. That was the last time she short-cutted.

At the circle Hash Cash Well Oiled acknowledged the greater competence of his spouse, Oiled Well and tried to pass on his job without success. It seems that some beer had gone missing which raised questions about the nature of his oil.

The G.M. sought the wisdom of the circle in designating hash names. This was necessary as he, being a FRB, had had too much opportunity to indulge in the beer and was in no condition to conduct a meeting. Upon later reflection and in consultation with the Spoke family, the Mismanagement committee revised the names proposed to recognize their obsession with bicycles. Thus their new hash names slightly revised became: Loose Spoke, Tight Sprocket and Third Wheel.

Child Beater, a teacher declared herself satisfied with her name considering the alternative on offer. Scotch-on-the-Rocks was likewise thankful to avoid “Rich Bitch.”

The G. M. presented Wild Woman with a HHH tee-shirt for those who have done at least 10 runs. Shocking claimed that he should be entitled to a tee-shirt too. By the time he had donned the shirt and thus stretched it to its limit, a recount revealed that Shocking had only done seven runs. Rather than retrieve the shirt, it was decided to leave it with Shocking as it wouldn’t fit anyone else after he had worn it.

Being St. Patrick’s Day some ten of the gang headed to 24 Bar to continue the party. Fortunately we were the first to arrive which enabled them to get seats and dig into the free Irish stew. Apparently the latter was exhausted not long after their departure.



Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

Directions to Hash Feb. 16th

Hare: Loose Spoke

Directions:

As you drive north from central Chiang Rai on the super highway, you will eventually reach the traffic light at the road to the airport. About 900 meters beyond the traffic light you will see Bandu market on the left and the pedestrian bridge over the highway.

About 200 meters past Bandu market, turn left toward Pong Prabaht waterfall and Pong Prabaht resort. There are lots of signs in Thai on the corner. The road is #1151.

After following this road about 7.5 km, it will make a 90 degree curve to the left. There is a sign here, marking a right turn to Pong Prabaht resort (but don't turn to the right – follow the road to the left.

After making the curve to the left, you will pass the Huai Luang reservoir on the left. About 300 meters after the curve, you should see the blue Soi 6 sign (and the HHH sign, as well).

Turn left onto Soi 6 and follow this road for about 2.9 km to the meeting point (HHH sign).

We will start the hash at 3:30. See you there.