.
We had set the trail in the morning. A balmy 38.C. By the time 4pm came round it was a sweltering hot afternoon (104.F for the benefit of any ‘oldies’ amongst us, humidity 60%) and who’d be mad enough to turn out in that heat… well… 39 Hashers and one dog were. Perhaps it was the promise of ‘no hills’ that did it. I thought no one would be there, and with the excuse of recovering from an infection, harnessed myself to a fan for the afternoon, leaving Oddjob to manage alone. He, as sweeper, got to walk the course twice. Brownie points have been allocated.
After a course briefing, the starting pistol cracked and a number of FRBs ran off into the distance. Gorf, followed by Just Steve completed the course in an amazing 45 minutes. Since it had taken us an hour to cycle round on one of our reconnaissance runs, it’s obvious we need to upgrade our bikes.
The more (sensible) Hashers set off at a much more sedate pace, with the last ones coming in after 1hour 45mins. The Hash trail took us , after a rather less than salubrious start past a ‘fly’ rubbish tip, over some gently rolling countryside to the west of Chiang Rai town, a fairly new rubber and fruit plantation, with a mix of natural and man-made lakes. A four legged Hasher enjoyed the benefit of these on the way round. There were views of the Reclining Woman Hill at Mae Yao, the White Buddha at Doi in Cee, and Doi Khao Kwai, all from the safety of low altitude. Wild Woman appeared to appreciate the scenery.
5 v-checks were set to slow down the front runners, and, reportedly, worked well. Oddjob had ‘failed’ to mention at the briefing that our course would take you close to a very large working quarry. At quarter to five, when half the hillside was blasted off, those Hashers nearby didn’t know whether to dive for cover or run for it. Ahh! Simple pleasures.
The extreme heat took it’s toll on a few, and the sweeper led a small party of wilting ones on a short cut to take them into the middle of the Hash group again. If only they had been a bit more discreet, they might have got away without anyone noticing.
Able Seaman, after completing the course, turned up in his truck to offer a lift back to those who were finding it too much, and a small number gratefully accepted.
He commented to Oddjob later on that he nearly hadn’t come along as he thought that the course would be too easy, as it was, however, with the weather, it turned out to be ‘about 6km too long’. Here we should confess that when we originally set the course it was only 6km long, but bits just kept getting added, and it ended up about 7.5 km in length. So well done everyone for finishing.
By the time OddJob got back in with the last few, lychees and drinks were being consumed in great numbers.
The Circle
Shocking called us to form a circle, and virgin hashers (? number) were given the traditional welcome.
Two Hashers received their Hash names. A combination of fatigue – well earned- and Shocking’s scouse accent rendered OddJob at a loss as to what, precisely, these were. He thinks the following information may hold an element of truth:
The better half of ‘McMuff’ was given the name of ‘Spicy pri(c)k sauce’, and the second lady whose Thai nickname is Hom which means pleasant smelling received the hash name ‘ Hom noi’ which translates to ‘a small sweet smelling spot’.
As I’m sure you appreciate by now – unlike in Wirgin Bruce’s reports – accuracy, reliability and honesty haven’t had a starring role since he handed over the scribes’ baton to us.
Which reminds me – apologies to Able Seaman are due – apparently it was a 10 baht coin, not a paltry 5.
Shocking sold more of our splendid Hash T-shirts. “There’s a five year guarantee with each one’ he said, ‘if not completely satisfied, you’re more than welcome to ask for your money back’.
Asking and getting ,however, are two different things. The Hares also received their complementary ones.
Do it Yourself, back in his former post for one month only as ‘Hash Beer’ was thanked. It was ‘the highlight of his career’ he stated, eyeing up the possibility of leftovers as ‘thank you’ gifts.
Plastic cups were not used for the downers, the bottoms of some empty plastic water bottles were hastily cut off instead to use as drinking vessels. From what you know of ourHash, which of the following is the most likely reason?
It was because:
A. It was felt we should be more environmentally friendly and recycle.
B. Someone forgot the cups.
Hares for the following months were confirmed.
June – Hard wired and Begging for it
July – Namron
August – Do it Yourself
September – Fired Up
October - ???????
November – Gorf and Able Seaman. This promises to be a grand event with the Hares setting a trail in celebration of Gorf’s marriage. Hashers from even further afield than usual are anticipated to be coming along.
Thank you all for volunteering. We certainly enjoyed our first venture into trail setting, so much so that we’re already looking out another one! OddJob reckons there’s money to be made. If you lay the trail, you also know the shortcuts. A few extra baht could come his way for showing these to exhausted Hashers.
Hope to see you all next month.
On,On! OohMatron and Oddjob
Housekeeping
A concerned Hasher reported that he had spotted a small number of Hashers throwing their empty water bottles into ditches/ onto the ground during this month’s Hash. This is not what is expected from C.R.Hashers.. If you can be bothered to carry a full bottle, then surely it’s not too much to ask to carry your empty one back to base. Please.
