Report of Run #107: Saturday September 15, 2012

Location: Mockingham Palace, Behind Big C Hares: G.M. Shocking, Pat on the Back and Flying Dutchman The skies had poured rain all week but as our very own infalible meteorologist Thaitanic predicted (or precipitated) the skies cleared, the sun emerged and the rains ceased just in time to create yet another “family friendly” hash. This time however there were no children to make a family. Of the twenty-four hashers present, the women outnumbered the men 14 to ten. There was no need then for the Plan B which would lead the team through the Central Plaza underground parking, up the Little Duck stairs and into the Sriburin maternity ward. However time and weather was not sufficient to dry the route so the hares offered two options: (1) for the foolish, a walk through 100 meters of mud; and (2) for the sane, a shorter route avoiding it. The group then naturally split into two equal numbers, the first group being mainly FRBs while the latter had all the Thai women plus a few farangs like Hand Cock, Alan and your faithful correspondent who gallantly followed to keep the ladies from going astray. Our perpetual G.M. used his hare-ship to achieve many firsts in the Chiangrai Hashing world. For example this was the first hash to propose two plans A and B. It was also the first time our family friendly group had hashed along a super highway. Thirdly it was the first time the sweep used a vehicle to shepherd lost hashers along the straight and narrow. Finally this hash set a new gold standard in environmental consciousness, reducing the use of paper to well below the minimum needed to clearly show the route. As a result the saner group got thoroughly confused and had to call upon the vehicle-bound sweep to show the way forward. Our favourite G.M. hare informed the group that the trail would pass over two bamboo bridges. He claimed that he had personally tested these bridges so he could guarantee their safety. Wiser hashers now began to look doubtful wondering if the bridges had cracked or come loose under the formidable weight of the biggest G.M. in our family friendly history. Able Seaman was so worried that he chose to deviate from the papered trial in order to cross a different bridge and then created his own parallel trial in hopes of never having to cross water again. As the trail wandered behind Sriburin Hospital, this truthful reporter began to worry that some misinformed hashers may have mistakenly opted for the abandoned Plan B. So always thinking of others, he took it upon himself to investigate the hospital’s sanitary facilities while the others raced madly ahead. Finally back at Mockingham Palace, Pat on the Back put out a fine meal that fully compensated the forlorn for her husband’s excesses. It was also in celebration of her birthday which the charming G.M. pointed out is no special deal in their household as everyday is like a birthday since the day she married him. Delicious odors from the fine food must have drifted to the Dutch village for shortly thereafter Cop Out’s better half appeared. Once the crowd had eaten and were less inclined to lynch him, the G.M. called the circle to order to toast himself and the two other hares for what he considered a job well done. The first of the Snow Birds, notably Scotch on the Rocks and her better half, Allan plus long absent Do It Better were also toasted. This being Khun Joy’s third hash, the group deliberated on a name. Wild Woman testified to No Longer Virgin Joy’s bicycling speed but the crowd refused to honour her with the name “Fast Woman,” preferring “Dynamite in a Hole” as proposed by Do It Yourself who hinted at some inside knowledge. The G.M. knighted her accordingly using a nearby umbrella. Nam Ron, the Beavers along with the Flying Dutchman and Bottoms Up among others ensured that the party went on into the night so long as any hash beer stock remained. On! On! Wirgin Bluce Hash Sec

Driving Instructions to Chaingrai Hash Saturday 15 at 4 pm

The third Saturday comes quickly this month. Here are the driving instructions to the 107th Chiangrai family friendly hash on Saturday September 15. Head south on the Super Highway past the Big C. At the first set of traffic lights turn left onto Highway 1020. Travel this road for 500 metres then turn left at the HHH sign. After approximately one kilometer along this gravel road, you will come to a sharp right hand bend. Park about 300 metres after this bend at the HHH sign. Allow 10 minutes from Big C. FRBS can do it in half that time. The hash starts at 4 pm. Hares: Pat on the Back, Flying Dutchman, Shocking. In the event of Hurricanes/Tsunamis At this time of the year, the storm-tracking duo of Wirgin Bluce and Titanic will be on 24 hour alert for any Hurricanes or Tsunamis within a radius of 2,000 kilometres. Should they give the red light we will then put plan B into motion. PLAN B We will use are all weather hash trail trekking twice around the Big C carpark (undercover of course) then over the bridge to the Central Plaza car park,once around the car park straight through Tops,Robinsons and of course Mcdonalds. The long trail will take the FRBS up and down ten flights of stairs in the Little Duck hotel. BE FOREWARNED Any hasher seen riding the escalator or stepping into a lift, will be punished by drinking a double downer while standing on their head (as Bottoms Up does this every hash anyway, she will be made to sing the stars and stripes as well) The Circle Will take place in the maternity ward of Sriburin hospital were the virgins will be toasted. On On Perpetual G. M. Shocking --