Welcome back one and all to the hopefully now more regular write-ups from the CR Hash crew! Its been a fairly tough-arse few months for us all, at one point there were just three or so people on the committee, plus another one or two who got nominated at the elections but then proceeded to immediately not only shirk duties but stop coming to Hashes altogether, instead opting to lay somewhat low, or at least as low as one can in a town as small as Chiang Rai.
In case anyone's wondering (or who cares) why there haven't been reports for a while, to be as honest as possible, my mental state hasn't been great over the past few months. That's about it.
But that out of the way, let's start this shitshow.
In the months preceding November, the CR Hash had been on the verge of dying, with attendees being few and far between, and a committee which, at one point, featured just two stressed-out members with other things going on in our lives. However, it kicked off BIG TIME in November, with not one but *two* hashes on the same day.
Chiang Rai town was left ravished and reamed more than the average bum hole after a session with a 10 inch plug after the Taiwan Hash House Harriers came to town on the day preceding the CR Hash, with attendees in the hundreds from Taiwan and all over Thailand and beyond, who with the trail set by Frozen Ring, and checked up on by Bad Hobbit. The second night hash in the city that CR has known over the last five years ended in spectacular fashion, with the Taiwanese hashers providing us not only with food, but several cases of surplus beer (even if that beer was Leo), meaning the CR Hash is in a solid state of surplus.
I'm sure Chiang Kai-Shek would be proud of what was achieved in the name of Taiwan.
The very next day, some of us nursing slight hangovers, we met at Rajabhat University's spectacular campus for the second time in five years - and there was actually a fair amount of attendance this time, among others being newly-named Illinying Swamparse, Takes It Up The Butt and Alex, Dirty Hippie Fucker, and some other long-time CR hashers.
The trail was an approximation of a previous trail done by Kristin a long time ago, and whilst it had some good sights, and featured a spectacular lake at the half-way point, wasn't that much to shout about. Though no one got lost this time, and everyone finished before it got dark. Overall, it might be just about said to be a textbook one.
What rather was something to shout about was the circle that ensued, with the committee quickly filling back up to full strength - amazing what a new set of dedicated people who come every time will do. Illinoying, in short order, became Hash Cash, Bad Hobbit was demoted from GM, regular hare, and scribe back down to just scribe.
There was also another notable addition to the committee - due to his constant reproachment of hashers for using words like fuck, shit, cunt, arse, dildo, goat-banger, ranga, paedo, spaccer, and Donald Trump, words which should never under any circumstances be used in any context in anything hash-related, Alex got named the CR Hash's second ever Spiritual Advisor.
Finally, after it became too dark to booze it up any more, the CR Hashers got on their motorbikes when they probably shouldn't have, and sped after Son Of A Bitch's pick-up truck on his farm for an On On. Thankfully, no one got lost or crashed on the way, and there was much stumbling around in the dark, and many, many sinkings of cocktails and shots of spirits aquired from the border with Myanmar with the help of Thailand's friendly policemen. A reyt venue with a swimming pool which we'll be seeing more of this month.
DECEMBER
December's hash very much continued the current trend of the CR hash towards getting firmly back on track, with even more in attendance, including newbies. It was Red Rocket's dog's first time at hare-ing, so all were keen to see what he might do - and indeed he ended up doing an epic, epic trail indeed, which took several hours to do. He certainly did not slack when it came to doing checks, which for a first-time hare-er, were very well done indeed, one of them hidden behind a palm tree, which had us front runners well and truly stumped.
Compared to the last trail, this one was several shades of amazing, with another epic scene every time we thought there couldn't possibly be another one, with Bad Hobbit and two other front-runners, including one of Alan Gallian's friends from MFU. Alan Gallion, aka Loose Stool, who might as well be a contender for Wirgin Bruce's title as the Invisible Man, given how often (or not) he decides to attend.
After several of us lost the paper right at the end of the trail, however, it was close enough to the end, at which point we could once again see and hear the main road again, so it was just a matter of getting back to the main road and pelting back down to RRD's house again. Bad Hobbit finished first, of course, an hour or so ahead of the others, to find that RRD already had a bbq going, amongst the usual beer and snacks on offer.
The circle was rowdy as ever, with more down-downs than before, at one point Wirgin Bruce nominating several people into the centre - which turned out to be because he was salty at the fact that not everyone in attendance was wearing a Hash shirt, for which Bad Hobbit immediately called him on, summoning his arse back into the circle, and summoning ice cubes to go down his arse - when your non-attendance has become so legendary that you get saddled with a second hash name of the Invisible Man in light of this, your ability to call others out is somewhat limited.
There was also muth taking advantage of all the mountains of free beer left by the Taiwan hashers, and conversations, as the beers went down, turned to conspiracy theories, and Bad Hobbit briefly turned into Alex Jones, after briefly turning into a massive Weeaboo and speaking Japanese. Finally, don't remember how the fuck it happened, we ended up in the lobby of someone's accommodation, drinking more and playing tunes on their system.
