Report of HHH Run# 69: Saturday July 19, 2009

Location: Five kilometers due west from the eight kilometer stone on the Old Chiangmai Road, at the foot of the stone quarry Hua Fai in the Boonrawd rubber tree orchard.

Hares: Allo Allo

Goodbye Goodbye

Some say that half the fun of a trip is going there. In this case far more than half the fun was bound up in the travel as a deluge of rain swamped all but the hale and hearty. Your faithful correspondent for example was forced to park his steed along the side of the road until rescued by John and Nitta. Maki and Takase actually turned back but were cut off at the pass by Nam Ron. Doesn’t Matterhorn braved the elements in a hired Rot Subaru with Swiss Roll, Swiss Cream and the Swiss Family Romano, four virgins who didn’t know any better. Fat Cat had threatened to come but once his feline nose scented water, he never left the bar. The Hash Beer, Hand Cock brought Helping Hand and the beer. However he then declared that liquid belongs in the gullet not on the skin and refused to leave the comfort of his dry vehicle cabin.

Most people brought umbrellas. This honest scribe was no exception. However he made the mistake of leaving his on the ground while he returned to John’s vehicle to don hiking boots. When he finally re-emerged there was no umbrella to be found. Apparently while Swiss Roll wasn’t watching, Doesn’t Matterhorn stole the umbrella and gallantly presented it to Dutch Treat.

Thirty-one intrepid hashers gathered under umbrellas. Nineteen were male, but no Thais. Of the twelve females, seven were Thais. Included in these data are three Japanese, who being neither farang nor Thai require some special category. Eventually, a semi-starved hunch-back hidden beneath an orange pancho rain cover, over-sized glasses and profuse mustache and equipped with a bamboo walking stick, came forward to announce that he was not Mahatma Gandhi but our very own Allo Allo who is the hare for this occasion.

Fired Up, Nam Ron and his constant companion Bushwacker immediately took off. Close behind was John who proved once again that a fast walker can keep up with these ambitous FRBs who run only to tarry at the checks. As the rains had dissolved or otherwise washed away much paper the task of finding and staying on track proved doubly complicated. This was not helped by the Flying Dutchman who came equipped with more paper but rather than reinforce the existing trail he chose to demonstrate short-cuts. Once started he neglected to lay paper to the point where the new met the old trial so that anyone who had the misfortune to follow his innovations, soon found themselves off paper and more confused than ever.

In the end the Swiss-Japanese delegation led by Doesn’t Matterhorn gave up on paper and followed a road back to the foot of the stone quarry where he knew the cars were parked. They were not last in however. That honour was claimed by Well Oiled who wore sandals which kept getting stuck in the mud. He claimed to be recovering from Swine Fever and did not intend to run. However caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, he went hashing despite the inappropriate footwear. He survived thanks to the repeated efforts of Oiled Well and Sticky Glue to extricate him from the mud. Meanwhile Pat on the Back walked barefoot having sacrificed her shoelaces in a vain attempt to stop Shockiing’s soles from ripping off his boots. Shocking however was not discouraged. He looks forward to making a fortune selling his “slightly used” size 11 boots on E-Bay.

However painful it may have been, Allo Allo, our usual FRB stayed behind to shepherd the stragglers in as weep. Upon arrival he then immediately set about slicing home-made paté to spread on French bread. Not accustomed to gourmet appetizers a stunned silence followed which was soon broken by Do It Yourself, Do It Better, Stoned and Rolling who are sophisticated enough to recognize a good thing when they see it.

As the sky darkened and the rain threatened to return, the G.M. Able Semen called for brief circle. Maki and Takase earned their hash names Tight Lips and Lip Service for bringing their virgin friend suited out in dress shirt and leather shoes. Later Shocking complained that he could easily have sold this ill clad “friend” a S2ATO t-shirt even with the enticement of Boy Magnet’s modelling. Likewise we avoided discussing the subject of water, this time in a bottle which was the focus of heated e-mail correspondence.

Unlikely as it may seem, some people enjoy the hash so much that there was some discussion about organizing a family outing on the first Saturday of the month. The format is still to be decided. Anyone interested should contact Nam Ron (telephone 089 661 5840)