Report of Hash #104, June 16

This month’s hash began and ended at the so-called Twice Residence, so
it was more of an urban walk than a traditional hash further out of
town. As such the route was through some very degraded “nature”,
interspersed with numerous rubbish tips. Much like the other hashes
then.

After some tense moments before the start attempting to get the
hashers not to park on the grass, things quieted down and everyone set
off.

The hares had not had the heart to distribute copious amounts of
paper, so an attempt was made to stick together as a group. This
worked very well until the end of the driveway, after which the
hashers coalesced into a group of 5 very fast hashers, led by Blows
Twice’s son Stephane, and a group of 25 very slow hashers, led by the
hares. Blows Twice was possibly the first hare ever to do a hash in a
dress, but appearances can be deceptive, the hares were taking their
duties very seriously.

The atypical organisational framework occasioned much tut-tutting and
head shaking from Wirgin Bluce, but fortunately he is no longer the
hash scribe.

It is correct that some hashers got slightly lost due to the absence
of paper, but it was felt by the organisers that it would be quibbling
to differentiate between getting lost due to the absence of paper
versus getting lost due to paper intentionally pointing down false
trails.

The first part of the walk was through the vacant land around Doi
Prabat. This area is not on the tourist trail, and thus is used
primarily by the local community for leisure activities such as
buffalo grazing, catching snakes, fly-tipping and the like. After
doing a loop through here we reached the first thrill of the route, a
flimsy bridge consisting of 2 bamboo trunks. Nonetheless, everyone
decided to cross except Shocking, who was desirous to return home for
a head start on the drinks.

The vacant land on the other side of the river was more of the same.
For those adventurers amongst the hashers who like to “buy” land
without proper title and build on it, this part of Chiang Rai is
ideal. And you can walk to Central!  In fact you have to walk to
Central, because there won’t be a road going to your house.

The second bridge was even trickier than the first, due to a
pronounced swinging motion, but despite having cameras at the ready,
no one fell in, although On Fire picked up a leech. Some mastered the
bridge crossings more gracefully than others of course, but it’s not a
competition. Except for one of the hashers, who crossed a bridge on
her hands.

Back at home the business of the day was handled with customary
professionalism by Shocking, Wirgin Bluce and Able Semen. Blows
Twice’s son was on his 3rd hash and after a cliffhanger of a vote he
now rejoices in the hash name Twice As Long. These names are the gift
that keeps on giving.

The refreshments provided by the hosts (fruit) were slightly
underwhelming given that the outlay was only thb 1100, but at least
there was no issue with leftovers.

By in large the hashers were quite well behaved, apart from the odd
plastic bottle discovered on the lawn, and it is believed that no one
peed in the pool, at least not while standing on the side.

On On

Comes Twice and Blows Twice

As retired Hash Scribe your faithful ex-correspondent remains silent.
He resists commenting on the absence of paper which complicated the
search for the trail. All struggled to follow a lanky bald spot which
kept disappearing in the distance. While he acknowledges the perverse
creativity of the hares who insist on outlining in great detail every
twist and turn in the route to be followed, he confesses that at the
third turning to the left following at least four turns to the right,
he had no idea what the hare was talking about. It seems the ex-scribe
was not alone in his confusion. Stephane, son of Blows Twice who was
to lead the Front Running Bastards and presumably knew the  trail,
also got lost. It seems Stephane has a talent for leading the FRBs
astray and in recognition of this skill, he acquired the hash name
"Twice As Long."  His partner in sin, Gabriella will be coming up for
a name next time she makes the mistake of coming to a hash. May I
humbly consider that in memory of the fine hospitality we received at
the Twice residence at this June hash, we  give her the name "As Long
Inn." Jeremy the girl who walks as much on her hands as on her feet
will need a name next time also. Any  suggestions?
    I will send you by a separate email a fine video done of our hash
by Virgin Jim.
On! On!
WB

Driving Instructions for Hash Run #104 Saturday June 16

The Chiang Rai "Family Friendly" hash will begin at the Twice residence on Saturday June 16 starting at 4 pm. Please see the driving instructions below: 1. Drive down Paholyutin Rd from the city centre. When you reach the entrance to Central on your left, take the road on your right, opposite Central. After 300 m this road bisects the old airport runway. 2. Continue to follow this road, 400 m after the runway there is a t-junction. Turn left, you are now on Doi Prabhat Road. 3. We are on soi 10/1 (between soi 10 and soi 11), which is a dirt road on your left 1.4 km after the t-junction 4. We are 200 m straight down this soi, on your left, white wall and black gate. This part of the soi has deep mud grooves, so if your car has low ground clearance you are better off continuing on Doi Prabhat road to soi 11 (600 m further, on your left) and getting to our house that way. There will be HHH signs at both soi entrances.(Your faithful correspondent recommends the route via Soi 11 for all those who do not drive a 4 wheel drive.) The walk will include a couple of river crossings over flimsy bamboo/tree trunk bridges, so those who do not wish to risk getting wet in the river can return home via a short loop and get wet in the pool while awaiting the others. Swimming is encouraged, so do bring your speedos. On! On! Comes Twice and Blows Twice

Report of Sunday June 3 Bicycle Hash

The June 3 bicycle hash began in front of the Sriwan restaurant on the road to Thoeng. Seven people participated not counting Linda who wisely decided after 10 minutes that a bicycle hash is not the best way to experiment when pedalling for the first time in several decades. We started by cycling over the Laow River then transversing under the bridge so that we ended up in front of Chiangrai's oldest (and possibly only) windmill. Thereafter we pedalled upstream about 50 meters where the gravel ended and mud began. The next ten kilometers was mostly slipping and sliding through forest and rice paddies until we arrived at the paved rural road which took last month from the White Temple to Hua Doi. We crossed the Thoeng highway at the traffic lights on to the road to Santiburi and then immediately turned left on to a paved soi which led in vast semi circle back to the same Santiburi road about one kilometers beyond the golf course. After a short break we then took another paved farm road which led us first to the dam across the Laow River and then back to Sriwan. Altogether it was 27 km long and took us almost 3 hours. One surprise along the way was a Beechcraft double propeller airplane sitting in the middle of an orchard. The men in our group led especially by Comes Twice and Thaitanic had to examine the artifact closely. How an airplane could possibly end up there with its wings in tact defied the imagination. We have Ben and Elly to thank for scouting the route. Wise cyclists always kept the latter in sight as the female of the species, we discovered has the superior sense of direction. Other pedallers included Peter Gibbs, Blows Twice whose bicycle exceptionally did not break down, and your faithful correspondent. Cop Out and Pim will lead the July ride on Sunday July 1. On! On! WB