July 2013 Hash Report

The July 20^th hash turned out to be a pleasant affair as the weather was perfect – cool but no rain.  It was hared by Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman at their cottage which strangely enough is less than 500 m. away from their main house in Santiburi.  The trail was effectively the same trail Wirgin Bluce has set for the last 5 years but in reverse.  However, true to form, Wirgin Bluce set some exceptionally hard checks that not only threw off the FRBs, it also confused the Front Walking Bastards who ended up getting lost.  This included Lost Samurai, Nok Easy, On Fire and Fired Up.  Both Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman were needed to rescue the FWBs and the rest of the befuddled hashers who could not believe that a 6 km hash could take over 2 hours!  Although it didn’t rain during the hash, it had rained prior so the trails were enjoyably sloppy and even the most prudish of the hashers returned with muddy feet.  Two unnamed hashers showed up and ran hard.  Just for fun we will call them Brian and Bill.  Bill was thrown by Wirgin Bluce’s checks and faded after venturing off on one false trail after another.  Namron was able to stay ahead of Brian due to his local knowledge of the trails but after the on-in, Brian turned on the afterburners and left Namron cursing for calling “on-on” at all the checks Brian got wrong.  After the hares eventually retrieved the lost flock, the sermon began with Namron leading the hymns.  We were graced by the presence of Boy Magnet who came back from her business trip to China in order to model the newest colors of hash shirts.  She looked simply stunning in the sapphire blue shirt and gave a wag of the tail for Bill, who to the astonishment of all refused to cough up 200 baht for such a prize.   However, we did take a note and next month we will have one of our young handsome boys model the shirt again especially for him.  (We did manage to sell 2 hash shirts to the more sensible hashers who were indeed charmed by Boy Magnets magnetism.)  We also honored our newest member Crash.  However, since he couldn’t remember ANY hash songs after doing 2000+ hashes Namron honored him with “He’s the Meanest.” Crash gave his surprisingly fit 3 year old daughter the chance to name herself and she came back with “Six.”  (Must be related to the number of bullets in daddy’s gun.)  Shocking was back in form and completed nearly the whole hash!  We filled up the hare line until Feb. 2014 by unanimously voting to give Oral Banger a chance to lay the Sept. hash and Crash the Oct. hash.  Finally, Wild Woman, always the gracious host provided everyone with abundant amounts of pizza.  Overall, a very enjoyable hash!