CRFFHHH Hash Write Up 4/1/2014

The first CRFFHHH Hash of 2014 was held on and around the campus of Mae Fah Luang University, 20 km. north of Chiang Rai city, off of the Super Highway.  The Hare, Oral Banger, a professor at MFU, chose the location due to its reputation as the ‘most beautiful university campus in Thailand,’ or, quite possibly, his own laziness.  Regardless of his intent, the first Hash of 2014 was a success.  The Hash was attended by 20 hashers of all ages, 5 of them Hash virgins. 

The Hash started a bit late as the afternoon sun proved a bit stronger than anticipated.  After a short instruction circle in which the Hare, who had already begun drinking, slurred the important points of checks and ‘on’ calls, the hashers were on their way.

The Hare led the Hashers southeast of the university campus, winding throughout the many arboretums, greenhouses and walking gardens which dot the outer rim of the university grounds.  The Hashers traversed devious circle checks which led them to the Japanese style gardens behind the university hospital, and looped around to a side assault of the university commons.  A circle check at the statue of Mae Fah Luang herself, the Princess Mother, ultimately led the Hashers back to the meeting area.  You guessed it, NamRon, the diabolical, smirking, silver-haired FRB finished in around 45 minutes, popping a cold Singh and enjoying the sweet taste of victory. 

The circle commenced with universal disdain then acclaim for Oral Banger’s efforts, who giggled his appreciation for the turnout like a schoolgirl. The tone then took a turn as some staunchly condemned the Hash abstention of the ‘old guard’ of Hash blue hairs.  Unlike the less motivated Hash regulars, Baby Burner brought 3 members of her family and Oral Banger used his charm to lure 2 innocent MFU students to the decadent festivities.  These 5 lucky souls seemed quite eager to lose their hash virginities while it’s entirely possible our absent regulars simply don’t have the youthful vigor they once possessed to ‘get it up’ and hash twice a month.  

Four lucky Hashers were ‘Hashened’ with their Hash monikers.  Our editor friend from New Zealand was named ‘Kiweinie,’ and his medically stained Thai better half will now be known as ‘Yellow Beaver.’  Our young, unusually bare-lipped friend Adam rode his dark sense of humor to the title  ’American Psycho’ and our lady-hasher friend from Canada was named  ‘Eh-Hole Some.’   Beers were drank down-down-down , songs sung and the first CRFFHHH of 2014 came to a close as dusk fell on northern Chiang Rai.

Please don’t miss our next CRFFHHH Hash at 3pm on January 18^th just south of Mae Chan.  Your faithful Hash Scribe feels the Hare, Loose Stool, has something memorable in mind.

 ON! ON!