The August 16th hash was attended by 30 hashers
as well as about 20 non-hashing friends of the virgin hare, Scapegoat. It was located in the scenic rolling
hills to the east of the White Temple. The
hash did not start off especially well as the songthaew, packed with 14 hashers,
Namron and the 4 midgets and Try-Sexual all had problems finding Scapegoat’s
poorly marked house. However a few phone calls
resulted in Scapegoat waiting in the road and personally escorting everyone to the
run site. Amazingly, even after the
delay, the hare brief got underway only a few minutes later than advertised. Soon after the start of the hash, the participants
found themselves on a paved road, all thinking “oh no, this is going to be a
disaster.” Fortunately for Scapegoat's reputation, he had used
the road temporarily only to get the hashers to the back-country roads and trails. After the turn the trail was fantastic! It was reminiscent of the first hash Lost Samurai
set eons ago, great scenery, nice trails and the devious hare was able to mislead the
front runners with some clever false trails and checks. The trails
were a bit slippery and able to claim Unconscious Woman Beater as he had a very close encounter
with the ground. The FRBs just got to the BBQ shelter as a
torrential downpour started and in a
shocking turn of events, Oral Banger was actually able to finish the hash
before Namron and Missionary Position (who were completely befuddled by the last
check.) The FBR crew was rounded out by
Loose Stool and running redheaded Rachael.
As the rain
beat down full force, there was a sense of concern for the other hashers still out on the trail so after much deliberation, the FRBs decided it was a good time to crack a beer. Fifteen to twenty minutes later, as the rain
was stopping, the others started to trickle in, all with smiles on their faces
and stories to tell about how fun and exciting it was to get caught in the
rain. As they arrived, they were treated
to BBQ goat, Singaporean rice, real
Indian curry and other delicacies. Another benefit of the rain was that many of
the rain soaked hashers (a surprise wet T-shirt contest) needed a change of
clothes so there was a record sale of 7 hash t-shirts! Finally just as the food was ending and the
circle starting, Scapegoat got a call from Blows Twice who claimed her brood
was wet, hungry, cold and lost and in
need of an emergency rescue. Scapegoat
called 911 and dispatch said a helicopter was on its way. Since it is coming from Singapore, I am sure
it will get here before next hash.
In the circle many virgin hashers were welcomed including
Amanda and her boyfriend from California, two German vagabonds from Hamburg (who were
amazed to find out that hamburgers were from their home city), and the long
awaited Angela. In the circle Loose Stool was splashed as officially the worst
hash scribe in the history of the Chiang Rai hash. A few experienced hashers were renamed - Buffalo
Bill was renamed Peeper Creeper due to his Minecraft addiction and Ranger
Danger was renamed Dragon Balls (a name which had all the other male hashers
green with serpentine envy) Jenny aquired
the name Banana Splitz because of her gymnastic abilities. The scribe is sure there were attempts at
renaming other hashers but in the fog of inebriation he failed to write them
down (a mistake that Wirgin Bluce would have never made!) and requests that if
anyone is able to provide additional incriminating details please email him as he would be happy to
amend this write-up.
The Sept. hash will be set by Oral Banger who decided that because the
popular Singha Trail running event will be held at Boonrawd Farm on the 20th
of September (the third Saturday) September’s hash has been moved forward
one week to Sept. 13th. Crash has volunteered to set Oct. or Nov.
