Aug 16th Hash Write-Up

The August 16^th hash was attended by 30 hashers as well as about 20 non-hashing friends of the virgin hare, Scapegoat.  It was located in the scenic rolling hills to the east of the White Temple.  The hash did not start off especially well as the songthaew, packed with 14 hashers, Namron and the 4 midgets and Try-Sexual all had problems finding Scapegoat’s poorly marked house.  However a few phone calls resulted in Scapegoat waiting in the road and personally escorting everyone to the run site.  Amazingly, even after the delay, the hare brief got underway only a few minutes later than advertised.  Soon after the start of the hash, the participants found themselves on a paved road, all thinking “oh no, this is going to be a disaster.”  Fortunately for Scapegoat's reputation, he had used the road temporarily only to get the hashers to the back-country roads and trails.  After the turn the trail was fantastic!  It was reminiscent of the first hash Lost Samurai set eons ago, great scenery, nice trails and the devious hare was able to mislead the front runners with some clever false trails and checks. The trails were a bit slippery and able to claim Unconscious Woman Beater as he had a very close encounter with the ground. The FRBs just got to the BBQ shelter as a torrential downpour started and in a shocking turn of events, Oral Banger was actually able to finish the hash before Namron and Missionary Position (who were completely befuddled by the last check.)  The FBR crew was rounded out by Loose Stool and running redheaded Rachael.  As the rain beat down full force, there was a sense of concern for the other hashers still out on the trail so after much deliberation, the FRBs decided it was a good time to crack a beer.  Fifteen to twenty minutes later, as the rain was stopping, the others started to trickle in, all with smiles on their faces and stories to tell about how fun and exciting it was to get caught in the rain.  As they arrived, they were treated to BBQ  goat, Singaporean rice, real Indian curry and other delicacies. Another benefit of the rain was that many of the rain soaked hashers (a surprise wet T-shirt contest) needed a change of clothes so there was a record sale of 7 hash t-shirts!  Finally just as the food was ending and the circle starting, Scapegoat got a call from Blows Twice who claimed her brood was wet, hungry, cold and  lost and in need of an emergency rescue.  Scapegoat called 911 and dispatch said a helicopter was on its way.  Since it is coming from Singapore, I am sure it will get here before next hash.  

In the circle many virgin hashers were welcomed including Amanda and her boyfriend from California,  two German vagabonds from Hamburg (who were amazed to find out that hamburgers were from their home city), and the long awaited Angela. In the circle Loose Stool was splashed as officially the worst hash scribe in the history of the Chiang Rai hash.  A few experienced hashers were renamed - Buffalo Bill was renamed Peeper Creeper due to his Minecraft addiction and Ranger Danger was renamed Dragon Balls (a name which had all the other male hashers green with serpentine envy)  Jenny aquired the name Banana Splitz because of her gymnastic abilities.  The scribe is sure there were attempts at renaming other hashers but in the fog of inebriation he failed to write them down (a mistake that Wirgin Bluce would have never made!) and requests that if anyone is able to provide additional incriminating details please email him as he would be happy to amend this write-up.

The Sept. hash will be set by Oral Banger who decided that because the popular Singha Trail running event will be held at Boonrawd Farm on the 20^th of September (the third Saturday) September’s hash has been moved forward one week to Sept. 13^th.  Crash has volunteered to set Oct. or Nov.

Finally, the songthaew proved to be a resounding success with standing room only so the new tradition will continue and any hashers who would like a ride can meet at Hungry Wolf’s Restaurant in the city.