Bear
with me, it’s an eventful one.
TriSexual
was the hare for the second hash of the year. She will be leaving next month so
she was obviously eager to make her first (and last) hash a memorable one. We
can safely say it was mission accomplished, although maybe not for the reasons
TriSexual had hoped for.
For the
meeting point, she chose a spot located precisely in the middle of nowhere, at
the intersection of a dirt road, a water hole and a rock. Surprisingly, some 29 hashers actually
managed to find it.
The
starting point was a couple of hundred meters away (unusual). After brief
instructions, an admission of ignorance of the distance (strange) and way too
much info about false trails (we should have clued in), we were on our way.
Five
minutes in, the FRBs already hit a snag at a check: 2 marked paths were
actually going way too far to be false trails. The FRBs split up. By then, most
of the hash had caught up and opted to follow Oral Banger’s way, proving once
again that people will always elect loud confident incompetents over wise and
reserved leaders (some might argue that he actually was very competent since he
finished the hash in record time, but that would be beside the point).
As you
might have guessed, Oral Banger managed to jump to the last bit of the hash and
led most of the hashers to the finish line, to an astounded TriSexual. There was
a short debate whether or not it was beer time. TriSexual would not have it and
accompanied us back to the right path. This little adventure probably added 2
or 3 km to everybody’s run.
The actual
hash was quite a great one and the views were worth going through the entire
122k of it: a fishing lake, buffaloes, rice fields, mountains, thick bush, rabid
dogs, a swamp crossing, killer bees and a false trail that went all the way up
a hill to reward you with a superb view of the sunset (which lowered your
hatred towards TriSexual to a mild form of loathing).
There were
quite a few events:
-Thai men
fishing at the lake were quite puzzled with our presence and stared at us in
wonderment. It just so happened that Virgin Kelise’s husband was among them,
leading her to ask if fish was for dinner that night.
- Spartapuss
and Peach Fuzz decided to poke the bee nest in the name of scientific research.
They learned that science can be painful and itchy.
-Some nice
Thais helped out our hashers in distress by building them a bamboo crossing
over the swamp.
-Oral
Banger couldn't fight his acute sense of orientation and took (yet again) a
shortcut to the finish line when he recognized where he was at around 2/3 of
the way. TriSexual, seeing OralBanger didn't have any mud on his shoes,
immediately understood that he didn't pass through the swamp and swiftly
accused him of cheating.
-Aided by a
nice farmer that was pointing the path took by Oral banger, a lot of the
hashers took the same path. Let’s not tell TriSexual about that.
-Able Semen
was DFL, no thanks to Wirgin Bruce who ditched him along the way for being too
slow. Way to treat the disabled, Bruce, you make Canadians proud!
All this
confusion and those twists and turns made it a hash to remember. I think it’s the first time that hashers
actually made it back to the meeting point from both end and start points, as
well as 2 other paths. Clearly, TriSexual put a lot of work into it and
deserved our appreciation. It obviously raised the (very low) standard.
Hash circle
Virgins
Blake
Sarah
Kelise
Lois
Named
Carpet
burner
Peach fuzz
Renamed
For
forgetting his hash name: Danmentia
March Hash
Oral Banger
April Hash
Cancelled
due to smoke (really, it’s gonna get worse?)
T-shirts
Scotch On
The Rocks said something about new shirts next month. To be continued.
Temporary Gm
and BeerMeister
Our GM and BeerMeister,
on top of being too lazy to run (you don’t need arms to walk, Cop Out, a broken
collarbone is no excuse), are taking a 2 month vacation from the stress of the
retired life in Thailand (April to June).
I will fill
in as GM during that time. Able will take the BeerMeister responsibilities
(it’s a good thing he made it back, again, no thanks to Bruce).
I would
like to point out that my wife and I are cumulating 3 of 4 hash positions.
Chances are, changes will be made during my reign, probably along the line of
enormous cash bonuses for key mismanagement positions.
See you
March 21st!
-Frozen Ring
