February 21st - Write Up

Bear with me, it’s an eventful one.

TriSexual was the hare for the second hash of the year. She will be leaving next month so she was obviously eager to make her first (and last) hash a memorable one. We can safely say it was mission accomplished, although maybe not for the reasons TriSexual had hoped for.

For the meeting point, she chose a spot located precisely in the middle of nowhere, at the intersection of a dirt road, a water hole and a rock.  Surprisingly, some 29 hashers actually managed to find it.

The starting point was a couple of hundred meters away (unusual). After brief instructions, an admission of ignorance of the distance (strange) and way too much info about false trails (we should have clued in), we were on our way.

Five minutes in, the FRBs already hit a snag at a check: 2 marked paths were actually going way too far to be false trails. The FRBs split up. By then, most of the hash had caught up and opted to follow Oral Banger’s way, proving once again that people will always elect loud confident incompetents over wise and reserved leaders (some might argue that he actually was very competent since he finished the hash in record time, but that would be beside the point).

As you might have guessed, Oral Banger managed to jump to the last bit of the hash and led most of the hashers to the finish line, to an astounded TriSexual. There was a short debate whether or not it was beer time. TriSexual would not have it and accompanied us back to the right path. This little adventure probably added 2 or 3 km to everybody’s run.

The actual hash was quite a great one and the views were worth going through the entire 122k of it: a fishing lake, buffaloes, rice fields, mountains, thick bush, rabid dogs, a swamp crossing, killer bees and a false trail that went all the way up a hill to reward you with a superb view of the sunset (which lowered your hatred towards TriSexual to a mild form of loathing).

There were quite a few events:

-Thai men fishing at the lake were quite puzzled with our presence and stared at us in wonderment. It just so happened that Virgin Kelise’s husband was among them, leading her to ask if fish was for dinner that night.

- Spartapuss and Peach Fuzz decided to poke the bee nest in the name of scientific research. They learned that science can be painful and itchy.

-Some nice Thais helped out our hashers in distress by building them a bamboo crossing over the swamp.

-Oral Banger couldn't fight his acute sense of orientation and took (yet again) a shortcut to the finish line when he recognized where he was at around 2/3 of the way. TriSexual, seeing OralBanger didn't have any mud on his shoes, immediately understood that he didn't pass through the swamp and swiftly accused him of cheating.

-Aided by a nice farmer that was pointing the path took by Oral banger, a lot of the hashers took the same path. Let’s not tell TriSexual about that.

-Able Semen was DFL, no thanks to Wirgin Bruce who ditched him along the way for being too slow. Way to treat the disabled, Bruce, you make Canadians proud!

All this confusion and those twists and turns made it a hash to remember.  I think it’s the first time that hashers actually made it back to the meeting point from both end and start points, as well as 2 other paths. Clearly, TriSexual put a lot of work into it and deserved our appreciation. It obviously raised the (very low) standard.

Hash circle

Virgins

Blake

Sarah

Kelise

Lois

 

Named

Carpet burner

Peach fuzz

Renamed

For forgetting his hash name: Danmentia

March Hash

Oral Banger

April Hash

Cancelled due to smoke (really, it’s gonna get worse?)

T-shirts

Scotch On The Rocks said something about new shirts next month. To be continued.

Temporary Gm and BeerMeister

Our GM and BeerMeister, on top of being too lazy to run (you don’t need arms to walk, Cop Out, a broken collarbone is no excuse), are taking a 2 month vacation from the stress of the retired life in Thailand (April to June).

I will fill in as GM during that time. Able will take the BeerMeister responsibilities (it’s a good thing he made it back, again, no thanks to Bruce).

I would like to point out that my wife and I are cumulating 3 of 4 hash positions. Chances are, changes will be made during my reign, probably along the line of enormous cash bonuses for key mismanagement positions.

See you March 21^st!

-Frozen Ring