Hash Report - 19th August 2017

THE HASH IS BACK!

What's up, you beautiful bastards! The Bad Hobbit is, for now, back back and back as the scribe, owing to the individual selected to be the scribe, Grubby-Dag, seemingly having disappeared into the ether. Or perhaps gone on a hash of his very own, gone over the hills, and not been heard from again.

July's hash, some of you may well have read the report on. However, as some of you may have perhaps surmised, that report was very much 

However, this isn't to say the actual story of July's hash wasn't an interesting one - hours went by, precisely no one came, as a result of which in a fit of sheer boredom and despair, Bad Hobbit, Pussy Rainbow, and Frozen ring just got rat-arsed by the lake, and Bad Hobbit resolved to attempt the same hash in August.

He did exactly that - and the hash this time, to put it simply, was much more of a roaring success. Though the rain did threaten it before the hash, it turned out to be the one part of the weekend with decent weather - and having by now had more than one attempt at doing the trail, Bad Hobbit was able to massively improve upon it.

The attendance group was at around 14 people, and reflected the new generation of CR Hashers who have started to attend and even do trails over the last few months, replacing some of the old guard who have either retired from hashing, or left CR for pastures new.

The weather was glorious as we set out, named hashers being Bad Hobbit and Takes It Up The Butt/ButtHash, along with Megan, Gemma, Rob, and TIUTB/BH's little man, Alexandra, who was distinctly less whiny about having to do a hash than he was last time.

After a stunningly beautiful first stage, a semi-circumnavigation of the lake, the intreprid group headed up the rise, to be confronted with even more stunning views of the lake, from higher up, showing even more why this spot has been used for more than one previous hash.

The first stage being completed, we descended the incline to find a check on the highway, a concrete bridge stretching imposingly out, a Stupa clearly visible on the top of the mountain in the distance.

After a brief sprint down the highway, off the trail went again, this time over into some farmland on the other side of the road, past a pond (although the group did get briefly lost as a result of being confused by some paper still remaining from the previous attempt at this trail last month. 

On passing between some bemused local's front porches and their rice fields, we picked up a new friend on the trail - a very friendly, and extremely hyper little terrier, who seemed at one point to be determined to finish the trail with us, but not before licking some of us to death. We also made friends of some emus, and some actual sheep - sheep being perhaps as rare in Thailand as elephants are in the UK.

Past the rice fields, and through expanses of further rice fields, with electricity pylons standing like colossal sentinels over the expanses, we returned to the road, and after finding the trail again, continued upwards, with yet more stunning views around us. As Shaquita commented, this kind of thing is precisely the reason why so many of us live in the North of Thailand. Sing the praises of the beaches all you want, for many of us, nothing compares to the beauty of the mountains of the north. 

After turning off to the right, and heading through the village and through a small nature reserve and rubber trees, we eventually happened upon the main road, after which it was a straight shot right down to the finish.

There were no front runners, this really was just a nice, chilled, and very long walk in the countryside, but not a single person regretted coming. 

After some rest and initial drinking, it was time for the circle, with the usual merriment all around, the main things of note being the naming of Rob, and Michelle. There was some controversy over whether hashes done outside CR count towards one's third hash, but as Shaquita pointed out, her previous hash in the state of beers, steers and queers (Texas) counted towards hers, so settled it was.

After having initially had 'Robocock', a variation of his actual CR nickname 'Robocop' suggested, Rob himself suggested some improvements which were way more genius than anything we could come up with. Eventually, we settled on the full name 'Defective Cuntstable Robocock', or 'Robocock' for short.

For Michelle, in reference to a story from Peace House, in which she had expressed regret at not taking a shower before coming out as there was a guy in attendance she fancied, it was full name 'Take A Fucking Shower, Dirty Hippie Fucker', or 'Dirty Hippie Fucker' for short. 'Dirty Hippie Fucker', as a sentence, has more than one meaning, both of which are soundly applicable to Michelle. Rob and Michelle, newly hash-named, then nobly stepped up to the task of being the new generation of CR Hashers and nobly agreed to hare the next one.

The sun went in, drinking kept going - however, the action wasn't over just yet - certain individuals decided to play on a very old, very rotten wooden jetty, that was fast losing the structural integrity befitting a jetty - as a result of which both Megan and James ended up going through some of said planks, resulting in mainly damaged egos and one or two minor cuts, to the bemusement of local onlookers.

In short, great time, excellent hash - more like this, please!