Lanna Bush Hash Run XXX

FYI - The Lanna Bush will be held in a couple of weeks in Chiang Rai.

Consider it to be the sexist, alcoholic, much tougher brother of the Chiang Rai Hash: 15-18Km, wet muddy and harsh, all male, most of them ugly.

If that sounds appealing to you (it strangely does for some of our tribe), here's the info:


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Lanna Bush Hash Run XXX - Hared by SoB & Pussy Virus - 31st March 2018 ** RUN INFO**

Saturday, 31 March

LBH3 #XXX - Chiang Rai

Hares: Son of Bitch & Pussy Whipped

12:00 PM departure from Lamyay bar on Soi Jet Yod (bar street near clock tower). The run will be largely single track hilltribe trails and you will likely get your feet wet. The run distance will be 15-18km, depending on how much you check... There will be 2 water/beer/cigar stops.

Runners are advised to bring a change of clothes/shoes, mozzie repellent and a torch as dinner will be at the B site.

Run Fee: Bt 1,200 (for food, transport and drinks)

For those arriving early, a pre-lube will take place at Lamyay Bar from 19:00 on Friday night.

On On

RSVP

SOB - 081 819 0856
PW - 081 822 5061

Write-up: January 2018

Well, first of all, yet again another delay in write-ups. Unfortunately, my head's been so over the place, it would probably have been even shitter than normal if I attempted it earlier.

That aside, January's Hash was easily the best one of the year so far (oh, wait....) - all made possible by the monumental paragon of pure LAD-ness that is belied by his Hash Name; Son Of A Bitch, at the absolutely stunning location that is his farm, a location that would appear to be almost built for hash events.

It's been a time-honoured Hash Tradition to turn up to a hash monstrously hung over. Indeed, it has been this way ever since the days of the first Mother Hash in KL, born amidst the days of the British Empire, amidst hard-living and hard-drinking Imperial officers, half of whom came from Scotland (need I say more?), the other half of whom came from English public school/OxBridge University, an environment of hardcore physical activities, and hardcore alcoholic parties, with perhaps the odd bit of sodomy in absence of access to females.

And Bad Hobbit and Pussy Rainbow followed this tradition and then some, due to the fact that Chiang Rai, that weekend, was hosting an actual psy-trance festival, something usually only found surrounding Chiang Mai or Pai - the start of something of a festival season in the North of Thailand, with Jai Thep in Chiang Mai, and two weekends of Shambhala at Chiang Dao following in short order.

Due to our excesses the night before, we came in dead on our feet, and well prepared to Hash the poison out, which we did on a beautiful trail, with a couple of VERY tricky checks. Unfortunately, this scribe was too much focused on staying standing to take in much of the beautiful scenery, though one hopes the pictures above will do the trail something of a bit of justice.

The on-on at SOAB's farm, on the other hand, was very memorable indeed, which this scribe was able to take in more of after staggering in and plonking his arse down upon a chair.

SOAB, again in defiance of his Hash Name, provided cheese and crackers before the meal him and his parents had put on had even begun, and cheese being something of an expensive rarity in Thailand, all of us greedy fuckers jumped in like a pack of rats on a carcass.

There was also, as if that wasn't enough, spaghetti, salad, and epic amounts of the finest booze provided. Of course, this made our attention wander and made us slow to get the circle going - but wafting more cheese under our noses soon fixed that.

And there my memory ends, great event all round, huge thanks to SOAB for being an utter LAD.

- BH 

DIRECTIONS - March 17th Hash.

This month's Hash will take place at Mae Fah Luang University Campus.

Head North from the Mengrai Statue towards Mae Chan/Mae Sai.

After circa 15km, turn right onto Mae Fah Luang Campus.

After the security booth (the one who gives you an entry pass), turn right and follow the signs to the Botanical Gardens.

After you pass the entrance to the botanics, keep following the road, bearing right, until you get to a gray patch of gravel - which will have my motorbike on it, a blue/black Honda Click.

Start time: 3pm.

February Hash Report

News

Since our official scribe Dildo Baggins found it more important to go hang out with dirty hippies than to write up January’s report AND to show up to the February hash, I will be filling in this month. Rest assured, it’s not my first rodeo and you’re in good hands: no cheap shots will be spared.

First off, this event was quite socially pleasant in the absence of our beloved scribe. As he so aptly put it once:

Run

The hash was hared by none other than Pussy Rainbow. Given his track record, he stayed true to form: paper was missing 200m from the start, FRBs followed the return paper and did the whole thing backwards, the trail went through thorny bushes and a barbed-wired fence (bleeding occurred), some DFLs gave up on the trail and used Google Maps for their way back, other DFLs stuck to paper and were rewarded by a 5 hour hash and a rabid dog.

All around: another bang-up job by Pussy Rainbow: give this man a hand!

Circle

• Pussy Rainbow did make it up with some homemade pizza, so comments on the trail stayed in the non-homicidal range.
• Many Mennonites and One Hung Low brought a friend. No need to know his name, he’s never coming back: he did the 5 hour hash.
• Some random guy named Bjorn showed up. Or was it random? I forget who made him come, must not have been a kinky story.
• Two hashers got named: Pubic Speaker (because he likes to give speeches with his shorts down) and Fanny Poppins (because we can’t come up with anything non-sexual).
• Frozen Ring got a very distinctive award: 3^rd Hash ran the wrong way. 

We finally got some people to commit to relationships Haring:

• March: Dildo Baggins (Set your ears to bleed)
• April: There’s no such thing as an April Hash
• May: Dirty Hippy Fucker (The commitment is strong with that one)
• June: Frozen Ring (Damn, he good lookin’!)
• …
• October: Many Mennonites and One Hung Low (They like to plan their fun together WAY ahead of time)

ON ON ON

Takes it up the Butt (sorry, Butt Hash) left early to sedate our religious advisor with NyQuil in order to get a head start on whatever tequila was left at Mala bar.

I hear some yoga lessons were also dispensed by Illinoising Swamp Ass at the bar. I wasn’t attending but I’m sure it was all in good taste and not inappropriate at all.

See ya March 17th,

-Frozen Ring