Hares: Paddy Boy and Godzilla
Location: Paddy Boy farm behind Mae Fah Luang University
Altogether 24 people showed up for our Songkran run. This exceeded expectations. Fifteen were guys, including one Thai, Pat on the Back’s nephew Bill. Only eight women showed up and one child, Superglue.
The Oileds set a new record for punctuality. This time they didn’t appear at all. Also missing was MANipulator who still mourns the loss of Barefoot Beer Lao Bob. The absence of Boy Magnet was likewise keenly felt by the male contingent of our hash.
Wild Woman made her arrival noted by greeting one and all with some water down the back and Songkran blessings for the Thai new year.
The two hares were the last to show up. They appeared suddenly panting and dripping sweat. Apparently they had just arrived in Chiangrai three hours before and had immediately set out to lay the trail. Godzilla appeared particularly haggard. He used to be known as Stiffy before marriage and fatherhood overtook him.
Nam Ron, Do It Better, Belgian Organ, Ian Swan and Brussels Sprouts took off in the front only to be frustrated by the first back check which liberally interpreted the rules for trail resumption. With the help of some villagers the last became first as Pat on the Back, Nut, Rolling, Stoned, Super-glue, and Noi found the way forward and briefly led the pack.
The trail led through vast plantations of rubber trees each separated by barbed wire fences. Each required its own strategy slipping under, stepping over or sliding through the different barbed strands. To the astonishment of all, our fearless leader Shocking demonstrated the agility of a calypso dancer squeezing beneath wire.
The irrigation canals along the rice fields presented a different kind of challenge. Do It Yourself, Stuart and Pickled Prik hung back to encourage the stragglers along but being off paper the latter could find no way to cross the canal. Hand Cock, Rudy, his consort Mam, Doesn’t Matter Horn and Swiss Roll determined to go through the fields directly to them while Wirgin Bluce got distracted by Wild Woman who had found paper leading off in a different direction. The bamboo poles she placed across the ditch were strong enough to support her and Bill but they completely collapsed when your correspondent tried to follow.
Meanwhile among the Front Running Bastards, Bushwacker faithfully following his master Nam Ron, excited a herd of cattle to stampede. She was not so bold with a set of buffalo which the FRBs had to pass in the final stretch.
Sasha, Paddy Boy’s daughter greeted these FRBs with a water gun upon their return. By the time the last stragglers arrived a half hour later her hospitality was exhausted. Not so her mother Awe who welcomed us with hot dogs and fruit. Meanwhile Godzilla’s better half Maem was completely preoccupied with their 5 month-old Amy whose determination to drink shows a great hasher in the making.
At the circle afterwards the GM Shocking explained that we have free S2ATO t-shirts for anyone who had done six runs since the 4th Anniversary Hash in November. These included Pat on the Back, Super-glue, Nam Ron, Hand Cock and Wirgin Bluce. Pickled Prik, Ian Swan and his concert Noi were so taken by the beauty of the shirt that they insisted upon getting one without first submitting to six runs. For this pleasure they paid 200 Baht per shirt. The GM Shocking then gave a shirt to the two hares Paddy Boy and Godzilla as a personal gift in appreciation of their hospitality. These two do not live in Chiangrai and are lucky to attend two of our hashes per year. In order to preserve the uniqueness of this shirt, all had to promise not to resell it on Ebay.
One couple having completed three runs, cried out for a hash name. In appreciation of his nation’s musical tradition, Roger shall be known henceforth as “Belgian Organ.” His most appreciative wife, Ann thus acquired the name “Wants More.”
Paddy Boy’s father Limbo did not go on the run. He claimed he had done 500 runs over the years but now he is conserving his strength to attend church and repent for past indulgences.
Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce
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