Report of Run #62: Saturday, December 20, 2008

Annual Christmas Hash!

Hares: Well Oiled assisted by Oiled Well

Location: The Oiled House off Soi 5, Ban Sai Mun

Celebrating Christmas at the Oiled’s house has become a tradition over the past three years with the Chiangrai HHH. This year’s gathering began anxiously as Hand Cock, the Hash Beer had yet to show up with the beer. People began to wonder, “Why is Do It Yourself, our super efficient Hash Cash collecting when the outcome of this event is still uncertain?” At the last moment as the Well Oiled was herding a skeptical public unto the ithaems, Hand Cock finally appeared in a well stocked pick-up. The collective sigh of relief was audible at the temple at the top of the hill where monks were trying to meditate through all the grumbling.

Thirty seven hashers showed up on this occasion. Nineteen were men, all farangs as usual. There were fourteen women, ten of whom were Thai. Finally there were four children all boys and all half Thai. The youngest was virgin Kodi, aged four who Nam Ron carried in a seat strapped to his back and thus found an excuse to linger among the walkers.

The ithaems took the hashers in comfort out along Soi 5 about one kilometer. Then, for reasons still untold, they stopped in a side soi and obliged their passengers to off-load. Multiple layers of paper discarded from Christmases Past led our heroes down country lanes, over hills and through rice fields. Flaps was the only one to try to run. He soon became discouraged and was soon caught up by Do It Yourself, G.M. Able Semen and virgins John and Deon (son of Stoned). These four fast walked their way ahead and reached the final drinking point about ten minutes before the others.

At two points it crossed irrigation ditches where Smoked Weiner, momentarily escaping his mother Jolly Molly, found it convenient to ignore the bridges and step into the middle of the flowing water. Thus he acquired a new hew to his long blue pants. Many others like Scotch on the Rocks, Dirty Hairy, Loose Spoke and Pat on the Back cheated using a pole to stop sliding down the muddy bank.


The trail ended on Soi 5 but before one reached the ithaems, there was one last deviation off the road signaled by chalked arrows. No sooner than one stepped on to this trail but we came across a chalked bar indicating a false trail. This confused Pickled Prik and Doesn’t Matterhorn who thought they had stumbled upon a new lexicon of HHH symbols. While Hand Cock searched vainly in the woods before the bar, your fearless correspondent soon discovered paper beyond the false trail sign and then led the others back on to the original trail in reverse direction. That soon led to the itaems where some remained while the thirsty walked the remaining kilometer back to Oiled house where they hoped to get an early start on the beer.

Your faithful correspondent was among the latter group but to his surprise and annoyance the ithaems collected their charges quickly and arrived at the house before him. Then he discovered with horror that Barry, his wife Jan and his parents visiting from Canada who were supposed to guarding the beer were themselves indulging with the FRBs who must be renamed because none of them ran.

Oiled Well produced a fine buffet of grilled chicken, sticky rice, shredded shrimp and spring rolls. This hungry, besotted group made short work of that feast.

Well Oiled produced a bag full of stuffed animals as Christmas presents first for the children, notably Kodi, Kenji, Smoked Weiner and Superglue and then for the child at heart. The G.M. received a pink rabbit in recognition of his efforts.

G.M. Able Semen then called for a circle to honour our host-hares with the usual down downs. Virgins were similarly toasted. Nam Ron drew attention to our host’s predilection for a high class Bulgarian beer while serving us the local cheap stuff.

Before closing the G.M. tried to sell some t-shirts. He pointed out that Christmas was coming and he couldn’t think of a better present to a loved one than one of our beautiful surplus t-shirts. However in the absence of our beautiful model, Boy Magnet that line got nowhere. On the contrary when the G.M. showed off how wonderful the t-shirt looked on him, Reverse Thruster asked if he could donate his t-shirt back to the pile.

Before concluding the G.M. endorsed Well Oiled’s call for annual statistics. They are as follows:

Altogether there were 363 person-events during 2008. The average attendance per hash was 30 people. The lowest turn out was 21 at the March hash. The best turn out was 44 people in July when we met at the Wild Woman house.

Exactly one half of the participants were men. All but one of these was a farang. The one Thai never returned after that first appearance. Women made up 36% of the participants and 88% of these people were Thais. The remaining 14% were children who are mostly half Thai.

We are a very distinct group. Photos showing exactly how distinct may be seen by hitting the link below.
HHH Run #62 December 20, 2008




On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

Christmas Hash Dec 20 at 2:30 pm

As the days are getting shorter and the Hare, Well Oiled plans to use ithems (as in past Christmas hashes) to carry hashers to the starting point
we have decided to BEGIN THE HASH EARLIER THAN USUAL ie 2:30 PM. Please all be on time.

Here are the driving instructions to the Oiled house where we will meet the ithems (locally constructed farm trucks).


Driving Up From the South on A1, Super Highway towards Mae Chan:


As son as you cross the Rim Kok Bridge look for a red light and turn left.


Follow that road to the west for a distance of 3.3 km to a three point intersection.


Look for a HHH sign and then turn right and proceed north to Ban Sai Moon for a distance of 4.5 km.


At the Ban Sai Moon 3 point intersection look for another HHH sign and swing right and proceed 90 meters to a Soi 5 sign (and another HHH sign)


Turn right into the Soi 5 and proceed east for a distance of 900 m to a Wat sign (and HHH sign).


The Oiled house is just up the road to the Wat on the right hand side. Park your car along Soi 5 and we will get on the ithems at that point.

It will take about a half and hour to get to the Oiled house from the Ha Yaek Mengrai statue.




Driving Up From the West of Town Using The Mae Fa Luang Bridge


Once you have crossed the bridge, go straight up (north) the road through Nam Lat village for a distance of 4.5 km to the Ban Sai Moon 3 point intersection.


Look for HHH sign number 2 and swing right for a distance of only 90 m to Soi 5.


Then follow the directions as above.


Then you are there!!


Start Time is 2:30 pm sharp.






On! On!
Wirgin Bluce

Report of Run #61: Saturday, November 22, 2008

Report of Run #61: Saturday, November 22, 2008
Fifth Anniversary Run!

Hares: Nam Ron assisted by G.M. Able Semen

Location: Nam Ron farm in Suan Dok village off the Old Chiangmai Road

There were 26 adults and 5 children showed up for our fifth anniversary hash. As usual, all 15 of the men were farang. Eight of the eleven women were Thai. Five were virgins plus two children. Almost all present were local residents. Exceptions included Square Rooter and Anti-Virus who were among the seven Chiangrai people who attended our group’s inaugural run. The former abandoned us after the fifth run to sin in Chiangmai whereas the latter fell victim to the bright lights of Bangkok three years ago.

That unbeatable combination of Nam Ron and G.M. Able Semen put together yet another run with the same predictable results. This time they put together two A to B runs.

Most people chose the broad and easy path which began in the Srisun Nam Korn (Season Korn River) resort off the Khun Korn waterfall road. In the absence of a sweep Hand Cock and Helping Hand trailed behind to ensure that there were no droppings like the last time Nam Ron and Able Semen did their thing. Polly, her Virgin friend Nayu and Smoked Weiner set a fast pace from the beginning. Pickled Prik trailed with his Virgin wife, Maew as their four year-old son Jimmy was determined to walk the route on his own. Virgin Kenneth’s wife Em showed no such pride. She hopped on Kenneth’s back every time mud appeared. The most exciting moments involved crossing the edge of an overflowing dam through a couple of inches of fast flowing water. Then one had to step along the top of wall two meters long which traversed a ravine three meters deep filled with muck and jungle. Fortunately no one fell although Wild Woman and Able Semen’s friend Dang seemed a little shaky. Do It Better crossed with her usual speed and grace. MANipulator gave up her running passion to keep her new husband, Virgin Stuart in sight.

There was some dispute about who was first in. Nam Ron declared that twelve-year old Third Wheel was the first to cross the imaginary finishing line but Stoned maintained that such abstract concepts are meaningless. As the final objective is to reach the beer, Stoned claims that the honour belongs to him. Rolling can testify to his speed and duration. Do It Yourself, the Hash Cash eager to monitor beer consumption likewise took note. Loose Spoke was too laid back to notice. Helping Hand diversified the diet by donating a large bottle of wine.

Four hashers dared do the 9 kilometer Ball Breaker. It began in the hills behind the Wild Woman farm further along the Khun Korn waterfall road. Able Semen who laid the paper claimed that it took him only 1 hour 45 minutes. Two and a half hours later with no runners in sight, people began to think about Able Semen’s first effort (Hash #59) when a truck had to collect the forsaken. As dusk fell Belgian Waffle appeared with tales of beautiful views, diminishing paper and a meandering river which crossed the trial seven times prompting Yuliya to doff shoes repeatedly. In the end Nam Ron rushed a jeep out to rescue her, virgin Raymond and Square Rooter who claims he selflessly stayed back to lead the other two to safety. Dirty Harry’s motorcycle got bumped in the haste.

Given the delay the four ball busters were lucky to find any beer left. However the fine buffet which Nam Ron organized, had nothing remaining for them.

The sun now long gone, Nam Ron turned on spotlights to prolong the social agony. The G.M. called a circle to toast the hare and the virgins. Absent the provocation of our beautiful model, Boy Magnet, there was absolutely no interest in t-shirts. It was proposed to name Yulia, “Put In”, recalling her country’s leader but a final decision was postponed until the next time she dares to show up. For lack of a better alternative, the entire mismanagement committee was reelected for another year. Thus endith the fifth anniversary.

Pictures from this hash can be seen at http://picasaweb.google.com/bruce.kennedy1/HHHRun61#

On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce