Report of Run #61: Saturday, November 22, 2008

Report of Run #61: Saturday, November 22, 2008
Fifth Anniversary Run!

Hares: Nam Ron assisted by G.M. Able Semen

Location: Nam Ron farm in Suan Dok village off the Old Chiangmai Road

There were 26 adults and 5 children showed up for our fifth anniversary hash. As usual, all 15 of the men were farang. Eight of the eleven women were Thai. Five were virgins plus two children. Almost all present were local residents. Exceptions included Square Rooter and Anti-Virus who were among the seven Chiangrai people who attended our group’s inaugural run. The former abandoned us after the fifth run to sin in Chiangmai whereas the latter fell victim to the bright lights of Bangkok three years ago.

That unbeatable combination of Nam Ron and G.M. Able Semen put together yet another run with the same predictable results. This time they put together two A to B runs.

Most people chose the broad and easy path which began in the Srisun Nam Korn (Season Korn River) resort off the Khun Korn waterfall road. In the absence of a sweep Hand Cock and Helping Hand trailed behind to ensure that there were no droppings like the last time Nam Ron and Able Semen did their thing. Polly, her Virgin friend Nayu and Smoked Weiner set a fast pace from the beginning. Pickled Prik trailed with his Virgin wife, Maew as their four year-old son Jimmy was determined to walk the route on his own. Virgin Kenneth’s wife Em showed no such pride. She hopped on Kenneth’s back every time mud appeared. The most exciting moments involved crossing the edge of an overflowing dam through a couple of inches of fast flowing water. Then one had to step along the top of wall two meters long which traversed a ravine three meters deep filled with muck and jungle. Fortunately no one fell although Wild Woman and Able Semen’s friend Dang seemed a little shaky. Do It Better crossed with her usual speed and grace. MANipulator gave up her running passion to keep her new husband, Virgin Stuart in sight.

There was some dispute about who was first in. Nam Ron declared that twelve-year old Third Wheel was the first to cross the imaginary finishing line but Stoned maintained that such abstract concepts are meaningless. As the final objective is to reach the beer, Stoned claims that the honour belongs to him. Rolling can testify to his speed and duration. Do It Yourself, the Hash Cash eager to monitor beer consumption likewise took note. Loose Spoke was too laid back to notice. Helping Hand diversified the diet by donating a large bottle of wine.

Four hashers dared do the 9 kilometer Ball Breaker. It began in the hills behind the Wild Woman farm further along the Khun Korn waterfall road. Able Semen who laid the paper claimed that it took him only 1 hour 45 minutes. Two and a half hours later with no runners in sight, people began to think about Able Semen’s first effort (Hash #59) when a truck had to collect the forsaken. As dusk fell Belgian Waffle appeared with tales of beautiful views, diminishing paper and a meandering river which crossed the trial seven times prompting Yuliya to doff shoes repeatedly. In the end Nam Ron rushed a jeep out to rescue her, virgin Raymond and Square Rooter who claims he selflessly stayed back to lead the other two to safety. Dirty Harry’s motorcycle got bumped in the haste.

Given the delay the four ball busters were lucky to find any beer left. However the fine buffet which Nam Ron organized, had nothing remaining for them.

The sun now long gone, Nam Ron turned on spotlights to prolong the social agony. The G.M. called a circle to toast the hare and the virgins. Absent the provocation of our beautiful model, Boy Magnet, there was absolutely no interest in t-shirts. It was proposed to name Yulia, “Put In”, recalling her country’s leader but a final decision was postponed until the next time she dares to show up. For lack of a better alternative, the entire mismanagement committee was reelected for another year. Thus endith the fifth anniversary.

Pictures from this hash can be seen at http://picasaweb.google.com/bruce.kennedy1/HHHRun61#

On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce