Hash No.76 Venue: Route 1211, K stone 19, the reservoir on the right
Our Hash this month was a special one, with about 30 Chiang Mai Hashers joining us at the event and a post-Hash meal (for those who had the stamina to attend).
We assembled for a 15.30 start to allow time for everyone to finish the course(s) before gloaming. We made a joint turn-out of 58 people, though a small number did not stray from the start. Randall had broken the directions code and got there too this time.
Before we set off, Pat ‘Shocking’-with a superb bit of salesmanship – managed to offload (or, should I say, that a few fortunate Hashers were able to purchase at very reasonable cost) most of our vintage and, now, rare CRH T-shirts. This is prior to the launch of our new design ones coming on the market very soon. Have your cash ready next meet. He also presented one of these rarities to Square Rooter for his endeavours.
Disappointingly, Shocking had purchased a new pair of shorts since the last Hash, so we were unable to play ‘will they/won’t they’ again.
There was a bit of a difference of opinion about the most appropriate footwear from sandals to stout boots with gaiters being displayed by Hashers. As it turned out, on some parts of the courses, crampons would have been the best choice.
The Hares were Able Semen of C.R.H and Square Rooter of C.M.H. They had laid 2 trails for our amusement.
The Hares welcomed us all. A standing invitation was made for everyone/anyone to join the other group’s Hashes. They explained the courses, emphasizing the more arduous nature – particularly of the longer one (approx. 11 km) and the need of participants to be sensible about which to choose to do. Since it hadn’t occurred to most of us that walking more than 8 km in only one day was possible, the decision making was easy. Able Semen warned that there may be a lack of paper trail at the top of the hills as the weather had been gusty since the trail was laid. A drinks stop had been organized for the long courses’ 8km mark, to be manned by himself (oh, the sacrifice, guarding all that beer), and anyone reaching this point after 17.40 was required to come back in the truck for safety reasons. No-one was getting lost on this Hash.
The Hares also explained the Hash course symbols we would meet. (I’d always wondered what those pretty chalk patterns were, so this was enlightening.) Our more sophisticated southern visitors made much of our lack of geometrical knowledge. Apparently a cross ‘check’ is not circular.
The Long Course (a.k.a trial by fire)
These few brave souls were sent off sharp by the Hares. (Since neither of us scribes chose to run this one (please do not laugh, it is cruel to mock the incapable), we can only rely on participants’ comments.) Apologies if the standard of this report, therefore, differs from our usual meticulously researched and accurate ones.
Natural hazards were plentiful enough, with very few areas to run at any great pace. We felt it was a little extreme for the Hares to complicate matters by arranging for Hashers to meet with a mad dog and then have to cross a wall of fire. This was not an Indiana Jones movie.
Peter ‘Doesn’t Matterhorn’ said it was ‘hard, very hard’, with some tricky inclines and worse descents, resulting in some Hashers painfully covering ground using their bottoms rather than their feet. The last hill was ‘the worst’, taking up to 20 minute to climb. Though the view from the ridgeline for the first 1/3 of the course was ‘magnificent’, Peter, in an un-hash-like manner decided to re-lay the trail to divert any lagging followers around it to spare them the punishing ascent but it turns out there were only 2 who benefited from his generosity, the FRB's all had to do the bushwack on the side of a steep hill with slippery dried bamboo leaves at their feet. (The Hares declared they got lost on this section so we all had to suffer.) Roger commented on the ‘quietness’ – but was this because he wasn’t on course? All agreed that this was not a trail for the wet season.
Frank ‘Gorf’ a regular Manila hasher, who had just arrived the day before ran in first in a magnificently athletic manner after several mishaps with the local animals including a very loud black dog and a large cow. His Royal Anus was the FRB most of the way to the water-break but one wrong check after the stop put him out of the lead. Chuck Waow and Namron finished behind Gorf and the others came in not far behind except for the two who opted to come back with Able Semen in the truck after lingering too long. Well done to everyone who finished.
The Wimps Course (a.k.a the conga trail)
Having been lulled into a false sense of security by our last 4 or 5 Hashes, it was a shock to the system to be faced with a more challenging one.
Slippery leaves over a hard shiny clay ‘path’ at a 45 degrees angle meant the first part of the course was spent looking downwards to find a safe footing, resulting in at least one nasty crack to a CM hasher’s forehead from overhanging bamboo. It was a Hash trail that had a lax interpretation of the word ‘one’ as used in the phrase “ there is only one hill”. The very narrow track meant progress via a slow conga around a reservoir, grabbing hold of bamboo to maintain balance or risk a slide into water. There wasn’t any room for overtaking, even if anyone had felt so inclined. Patricia ‘Scotch on the rocks’said it was a course best suited to the Haggis ( a beastie famous for having developed one leg shorter than the other, the better to balance while running around on the notoriously steep Scottish hills).
Finally we reached slightly more open ground and the pack split up. The checks were time-greedy, our own Hash Beer being one of a few brave souls to sacrifice themselves manfully to descend and re-ascend the ulu to find the correct trail on each occasion. Whilst they clambered up and down ravines, sensible Hashers loitered at the checks waiting for guidance.
It was nice to see that the CRH tradition of food gathering en-route is shared by CMH, one lady Hasher spotted diligently collecting baby eggplants.
We had a number of ditches to cross, the Dutch law-enforcer, once more out on patrol with us, showed considerable compassion and strength by pulling the more infirm (O.K, me) up one such ditch side.
Later in the course, the effects of dehydration and sun having taken their toll, we saw her and Scotch on the rocks attempting to demonstrate their slaloming skills down a hillside.
The last part of the course saw some of us going slightly off course, doing a controlled fall down a precipitous slope and traversing a rickety bamboo bridge. At this stage it was anything to avoid going back up that hill. We then re-entered the bamboo thickets for a fun-filled mad dash to the finish line.
Despite the challenges, we all enjoyed the afternoon, arriving back flushed with pleasure and the heat.
After enjoying some welcome drinks, we stood and watched the runners come back in from their route and the last group from the Wimps course, safely gathered in by Square Rooter who acted as Sweeper.
The Circle
Thanks were given for a great Hash. Unfortunately we had to leave early so we still don’t know what use the blue water pipes and what looked like pumping equipment are put to by CMH. We did stay long enough to see Namron demonstrate what those ice blocks were for. I’m sure a good time was had by all.
Things we learned from Saturday’s Hash
Able Semen
· Don’t get a lift from this Hasher – by his own admission he can’t control the wind.
· He is unable to tell the difference between a hill and a mountain.
· One hour ten minutes to ‘walk the course’ means 2 hours for lesser mortals.
Comments for the attention of the CMH
- We liked the V- check symbol, it could be very effective, but only works well when not reached first by Chiang Rai Hashers who consistently scrubbed out the wrong arm of the V. Sorry.
- Please ensure the Big C car park attendant who was mugged for his administrative aid (whistle) has it returned. This was altogether too efficient a tool for us to use to signal the route. We prefer a muted ‘on,on’ as there is much more chance of losing the lazy ones at the back doing it our way. We play by Darwin Rules here, survival of the fittest.
- It was very nice to see you all.
Thank you for reading this mammoth report. Don’t miss the photos attached.
Next Hash , 3rd Saturday in March. Hares are Begging for it and one other.
On!On!.
Scribblers: OohMatron and Oddjob
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