The 98th Running of the
Chiang Rai S2ATO Family Friendly Hash
The Christmas Hash, Saturday, 17th December 2011
Hare: Able Semen
According to custom and practice, the Christmas Hash has started and finished at a private house. For some years, Well Oiled and Oiled Well put on a splendid party at their home to mark the occasion. Last year, Wirgin Bluce and Wild Woman did exactly the same at their home. This year, for reasons which I now find totally incomprehensible, I agreed to hare the Christmas Hash and so the event will be staged at my home. I do not intend to try to rival either of my predecessors mentioned above but there will be food laid on (traditional Xmas fare such as fried rice, sweet and sour etc.) and, despite a very heavy schedule at this time of year, Father Christmas has agreed to try to put in an appearance.
First of all then, I need to know rough numbers so that people do not leave the premises unfed. Can you please email me back setting out whether you will be attending and how many will be in your party. If I can have this info by Tuesday noontime, then that would be ideal. Many thanks.
Next, the days are at their shortest at this time of year and so it will be advisable for us to start no later than 3pm. There will be a long and a short(er) trail and I would estimate 1.5+ hours to complete the route. Therefore aim to be at my place around 2.45.
OK, now on to the driving directions. It has to be said that my place is not the easiest to find - ask Well Oiled and I am sure that he will concur. Wherever you start from, get on to the Old Chiang Mai Road (or OCMR) and proceed southwards (ie in the direction of Chiang Mai) and watch out for kilometre stone 13 which is on the right hand side of the road.
If approaching by the Superhighway, proceed south until you reach the White Temple traffic lights at Ban Rong Khun. Turn right here and proceed for about 5 kilometres to the end of this road (technically this is a cross road but the road ahead is very small). Turn left here. You are now on the OCMR. Start looking out for KS 13 which will come up on your right after 800 metres.
Remember - it is the number facing the road which you should note. There are actually three numbers on these stones. Use the one facing the road.
Slow down here. After some 2-300 metres, you will see a flashing yellow light on the left side of the road. There is a turning to the left here (it is the first turning to the left after the kilometre stone). Turn left. There will be a Hash sign posted here. Carry on for about two kilometres until you see a white water tower on your right. Turn sharp right here. There will be another helpfully positioned Hash sign here. Carry on for a further kilometre and you will find my house on the left, with yet another Hash sign at the gate.
My number is 083 762 3267 in the most unlikely event that these directions do not work!
Once you have arrived, congratulations, you have passed the first initiative test. The second is parking! Car parking at my place is not great. I have a big area of grass but it has sprinklers all over it which makes getting in and, especially, out quite difficult. There are also a couple of adjacent fields. Access to one is very tricky and I do not wish to use the other since the owner is in Singapore and I am unable to ask his approval. The only viable option is to use the road outside the house. I have told the local head man that he can expect some congestion on the day and he simply asked that we park as far to the side of the road as we are able.
If travelling by motorcycle, then please use the garden to park up. However, take care on the drive. I have just regravelled it and used too much stone so motorcycles tend to be a bit unsteady on it at present. It needs a good fall of rain!
This being Christmas, Santa Claus has a special request. Every adult should bring a wrapped present for exchange not over 200 Baht in value. These will be numbered and then corresponding numbers drawn out of a hat for presentation by Santa himself. If what you get is not appropriate for you then you can trade it afterwards. Parents can bring a gift for each of their children with his or her name on it for distribution by Santa as well. We have done this the past three years and it has been a lot of fun.
Finally please remember to get back to me by reply by Tuesday to let me know if you are coming or not so I can organize the food etc.
Hope to see you all on the 17th.
On! On!
Able Semen
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
8th Anniversary HHH Run Report #97 November 19, 2011
Location: Wild Woman House, Santiburi Golf Course
Our latest hash starting time was set for 15.00h („winter“ schedule, haha), yet at 14.40 a line of limousines was already parked in front of our hosts’ home. No doubt a combination of their well-deserved reputation for hospitality and the refined setting both contributed to the high turnout. There was a palpable frisson of anticipation in the air.
Wirgin Bluce was kind enough to give a long and pedantic explanation of the ‘rules’ for the benefit of the virgins. Thank you, thank you. Finally the fog has lifted for many hashers.
There were indeed a number of unfamiliar faces, including some picturesque young specimens from our host country (daughters? girlfriends? so hard to tell) as well as some healthy competition for them from the Disunited States. Likewise it was good to see some old faces like Smoked Wiener who floated out of Bangkok on the floods plus Scotch on the Rocks and Sperm Bank who migrate from the north as the weather turns cold. Accompanying Sperm Bank were his missus, Missed Period and their three beautiful Powder Puffs who travelled all the way from Phaya Mengrai. Once Well Oiled and Oiled Well finally appeared, habitually twenty minutes late, everyone knew the moment to depart had arrived and, without further ado, the group headed out.
The new scribe did not wish his genuine journalistic interest to be misconstrued, so no contact was made and detailed fabrications regarding the virgins will have to wait until a later date. Nonetheless it is worth observing that Doesn't Work (alias Crash) enticed ‘Chompoo’ (this is a real name, not a hash name) to attend for the first time.
The excuse for our get-together, sorry, the Walk, did not disappoint. The landscape was charming, and thanks to crafty Wirgin Bluce’s numerous false trails we were able to admire all parts of it at least twice. The staff of the Santiburi had thoughtfully combed the path beforehand, so there was far less trash along the way than we are accustomed to, apart from the shredded paper that we ourselves deposited (and which is NOT biodegradable, so the trail is conveniently reuseable), and one eyesore of a house whose feckless inhabitants had omitted to remove the spare tyres and other detritus littering their yard before our passage through said yard.
At the beginning of the Walk, for reasons unkown, some hash-smokers, er, hash harriers, chose to walk along the ridges in the rice paddies rather than over the perfectly good path. From a distance the effect was akin to watching someone walk through a snake at the airport, but without there actually being a snake. The farmers tending to their fields did not pay any attention to this strange behaviour and continued with their tasks, either because they had been briefed by our hosts not to stare at the guests, or because they are accustomed to eccentric behaviour due to the proximity of the golf course.
About three quarters of the way, the trail divided into two routes the long one being 50% longer than the short way. The hare forwarned the group that only runners should attempt the long version. Gorf, Do It Yourself, Soreasses, Able Semen and Rubber plus his girlfriend Teng went for the challenge. One check which seemed to go forward with misleading bits of paper, actually required backtracking and that kept these FRBs searching for 15 minutes. Eventually this group found the way forward and arrived back just before the walkers. Unfortunately not everyone heeded the hare's advice. One walker, the Lost Samurai, lived up to his name, but not as much as his companion, Nok Easy whom he cunningly sent out ahead of him on kamikaze missions through prickly bonsai bushes. They eventually returned to home base 45 minutes after the others.
Finally back at base everyone was more than ready for the festivities to begin. A suspiciously high number of participants turned up only for the party. Nam Ron wins the prize for the most fantastical excuse. Apparently a cat hit his bicycle so he couldn’t make it for the Walk. Nonetheless all were made to feel welcome. Nothing was omitted, right down to lifejackets in order to prevent any unfortunate declines in membership numbers. And of course the swimming element provided the additional treat of seeing some of our fellow hashers, such as Hand Cock, in far more detail than we would have ever imagined. Nevertheless, everyone seemed to have a good appetite and the buffet was most popular thanks to the efforts of Wild Woman, Pat on the Back, Men Noie, Oiled Well and Thaitanic. A valiant attempt was made by Shocking to cover the costs of this extravaganza through the sale of t-shirts, but the results were inconclusive, possibly due to the current financial crisis. Or due to the t-shirts.
The business section of the gathering was soon done. On Fire was elected Hash Cash and Nam Ron eagerly assumed the task of Hash Beer. Comes Twice was congratulated on adding two more hashers to our community thanks the efficiency delivery of his wife Jolly Molly. No sooner than he had departed to rejoin his new loved ones, then the group promptly elected him Hash Scribe. Able Semen became Hash Trails and finally, but also least, Shocking was elected Grand Master after he complained that he had been serving in this capacity for ten months without election.
A wonderful time was had by one and all and a final piece of good news is that now that Wirgin Bluce has so much more time on his hands following his relinquishment of the hash scribbler job, he has expressed the wish to host the hashes every month until further notice. (Dream on! on!)
Comes Twice
Hash scribe
Nb: ‘any resemblance to real events or people is purely coincidental’
Our latest hash starting time was set for 15.00h („winter“ schedule, haha), yet at 14.40 a line of limousines was already parked in front of our hosts’ home. No doubt a combination of their well-deserved reputation for hospitality and the refined setting both contributed to the high turnout. There was a palpable frisson of anticipation in the air.
Wirgin Bluce was kind enough to give a long and pedantic explanation of the ‘rules’ for the benefit of the virgins. Thank you, thank you. Finally the fog has lifted for many hashers.
There were indeed a number of unfamiliar faces, including some picturesque young specimens from our host country (daughters? girlfriends? so hard to tell) as well as some healthy competition for them from the Disunited States. Likewise it was good to see some old faces like Smoked Wiener who floated out of Bangkok on the floods plus Scotch on the Rocks and Sperm Bank who migrate from the north as the weather turns cold. Accompanying Sperm Bank were his missus, Missed Period and their three beautiful Powder Puffs who travelled all the way from Phaya Mengrai. Once Well Oiled and Oiled Well finally appeared, habitually twenty minutes late, everyone knew the moment to depart had arrived and, without further ado, the group headed out.
The new scribe did not wish his genuine journalistic interest to be misconstrued, so no contact was made and detailed fabrications regarding the virgins will have to wait until a later date. Nonetheless it is worth observing that Doesn't Work (alias Crash) enticed ‘Chompoo’ (this is a real name, not a hash name) to attend for the first time.
The excuse for our get-together, sorry, the Walk, did not disappoint. The landscape was charming, and thanks to crafty Wirgin Bluce’s numerous false trails we were able to admire all parts of it at least twice. The staff of the Santiburi had thoughtfully combed the path beforehand, so there was far less trash along the way than we are accustomed to, apart from the shredded paper that we ourselves deposited (and which is NOT biodegradable, so the trail is conveniently reuseable), and one eyesore of a house whose feckless inhabitants had omitted to remove the spare tyres and other detritus littering their yard before our passage through said yard.
At the beginning of the Walk, for reasons unkown, some hash-smokers, er, hash harriers, chose to walk along the ridges in the rice paddies rather than over the perfectly good path. From a distance the effect was akin to watching someone walk through a snake at the airport, but without there actually being a snake. The farmers tending to their fields did not pay any attention to this strange behaviour and continued with their tasks, either because they had been briefed by our hosts not to stare at the guests, or because they are accustomed to eccentric behaviour due to the proximity of the golf course.
About three quarters of the way, the trail divided into two routes the long one being 50% longer than the short way. The hare forwarned the group that only runners should attempt the long version. Gorf, Do It Yourself, Soreasses, Able Semen and Rubber plus his girlfriend Teng went for the challenge. One check which seemed to go forward with misleading bits of paper, actually required backtracking and that kept these FRBs searching for 15 minutes. Eventually this group found the way forward and arrived back just before the walkers. Unfortunately not everyone heeded the hare's advice. One walker, the Lost Samurai, lived up to his name, but not as much as his companion, Nok Easy whom he cunningly sent out ahead of him on kamikaze missions through prickly bonsai bushes. They eventually returned to home base 45 minutes after the others.
Finally back at base everyone was more than ready for the festivities to begin. A suspiciously high number of participants turned up only for the party. Nam Ron wins the prize for the most fantastical excuse. Apparently a cat hit his bicycle so he couldn’t make it for the Walk. Nonetheless all were made to feel welcome. Nothing was omitted, right down to lifejackets in order to prevent any unfortunate declines in membership numbers. And of course the swimming element provided the additional treat of seeing some of our fellow hashers, such as Hand Cock, in far more detail than we would have ever imagined. Nevertheless, everyone seemed to have a good appetite and the buffet was most popular thanks to the efforts of Wild Woman, Pat on the Back, Men Noie, Oiled Well and Thaitanic. A valiant attempt was made by Shocking to cover the costs of this extravaganza through the sale of t-shirts, but the results were inconclusive, possibly due to the current financial crisis. Or due to the t-shirts.
The business section of the gathering was soon done. On Fire was elected Hash Cash and Nam Ron eagerly assumed the task of Hash Beer. Comes Twice was congratulated on adding two more hashers to our community thanks the efficiency delivery of his wife Jolly Molly. No sooner than he had departed to rejoin his new loved ones, then the group promptly elected him Hash Scribe. Able Semen became Hash Trails and finally, but also least, Shocking was elected Grand Master after he complained that he had been serving in this capacity for ten months without election.
A wonderful time was had by one and all and a final piece of good news is that now that Wirgin Bluce has so much more time on his hands following his relinquishment of the hash scribbler job, he has expressed the wish to host the hashes every month until further notice. (Dream on! on!)
Comes Twice
Hash scribe
Nb: ‘any resemblance to real events or people is purely coincidental’
Saturday, November 12, 2011
8th Anniversary Hash Saturday Novlember 19 at 3 pm
Wild Woman and I are organizing the 8th anniversary hash at our house (again) on Saturday ie November 19. We will begin at 3 pm so that after the run, the young at heart will have an opportunity to go swimming and paddling (two boats) on the big pond in front of our house. Bring a swim suit and a towel. We have life-preservers for the kids.
With Pat-on-the- Back's help, Wild Woman plans to put up a spaghetti dinner so it would help if you let us know by Wednesday if you are coming and how many people are coming with you. There will be a choice of vegetarian and meat sauces so please indicate in your response to me (at kennedyhb@hotmail.com) which you would prefer.
To get to the Wild Woman house, starting from Big C head south along the Super Highway and then turn left at the traffic lights. This is highway 1020 to Thoerng. Follow this road to the first traffic lights (about 6 km) where you will turn left again. Two kilometers along that road will bring you to Santiburi Golf Course which you cannot miss on your right. Enter the complex and turn right at the t-junction. This is a ring road which goes all the way around the complex. Carry along that road for 2 km never turning left. You will reach a small lake on your left. My place is on a pennisula sticking into this lake. You can't miss the cars parked out in front.
As this is the anniversary hash, this is your opportunity to vote out the committee which has been mismanaging our affairs since November last year. Those refusing to serve once nominated will be punished with a down down. The lofty positions up for election are in declining order of importance are:
1. Hash Beer
2. Hash Cash
3. Hash Scribe
4. Grand Master
On! On!
Wirgin Bluce
With Pat-on-the- Back's help, Wild Woman plans to put up a spaghetti dinner so it would help if you let us know by Wednesday if you are coming and how many people are coming with you. There will be a choice of vegetarian and meat sauces so please indicate in your response to me (at kennedyhb@hotmail.com) which you would prefer.
To get to the Wild Woman house, starting from Big C head south along the Super Highway and then turn left at the traffic lights. This is highway 1020 to Thoerng. Follow this road to the first traffic lights (about 6 km) where you will turn left again. Two kilometers along that road will bring you to Santiburi Golf Course which you cannot miss on your right. Enter the complex and turn right at the t-junction. This is a ring road which goes all the way around the complex. Carry along that road for 2 km never turning left. You will reach a small lake on your left. My place is on a pennisula sticking into this lake. You can't miss the cars parked out in front.
As this is the anniversary hash, this is your opportunity to vote out the committee which has been mismanaging our affairs since November last year. Those refusing to serve once nominated will be punished with a down down. The lofty positions up for election are in declining order of importance are:
1. Hash Beer
2. Hash Cash
3. Hash Scribe
4. Grand Master
On! On!
Wirgin Bluce
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Report of HHH Run# 96: Saturday, October 15, 2011
Location: Baan Fanta Luang near Wat Jom Sak 2.5 km west of the Superhighway just before Macro
Hare: Fired Up and On Fire
Despite the controversy surrounding the previous event, 23 intrepid hashers appeared one more time. The two hares, Fired Up and On Fire, ensured that no such criticism would be leveled at them by searching out a trail which was absolutely flat and without a leaf of grass which might stain a shoe. However through some oversight they failed to ensure that the day was clear of rain. Your faithful correspondent regrets to report that dirt from the mud roads did stick to his boots and this required some cleaning afterwards.
Able Semen and Doesn’t Work (Crash) rushed ahead oblivious to where paper may lead. Soreasses was foolish enough to follow them. When suddenly they broke from their reverie to discover that no one had seen paper for 10 minutes, they had to back track for a half kilometer. Later back in the circle Do It Yourself complained that these three had become so self-absorbed that they neglected to kick out the checks. Among the victims were the Lost Samurai and Nok Easy who guessed wrong. Nam Ron avoided all mistakes by pretending to supervise Ranger, Buffalo Bill and No Name.
With the coming of cool weather, Scotch on the Rocks emerged from the north dragging compatriots Virgins Gale and Kelly with her. Cop Out stayed close by her side to ensure that these wild Scots did no harm.
Meanwhile a name change may be due for Johnny Walker who ended up not far behind the FRBs. Likewise the Special Needs-Special Services duo surprised everyone by mysteriously appearing early at the finish line.
Shocking became so enthralled by the trial that he walked right by the end point. Not far behind were Pat on the Back and the inevitable Super Glue who made no such mistake.
At the circle thereafter our favourite GM ever thanked the hares of this run, Fired Up and On Fire, and Nam Ron for the most memorable September hash. He managed to squeeze these details in between the offer of t-shirts and the formation of an orderly queue of eager purchasers. Scotch on the Rocks splashed this truthful reporter for setting an alarm on his beautiful new car so all could appreciate his recent affluence and aesthetics. Finally the group refused to name Nearly Virgin Neil “Doesn’t Work”which would honour his early retirement as an internet blogger. Instead this democracy perversely insisted on anticipating the future by calling him “Crash.”
On! On!
Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce
Hare: Fired Up and On Fire
Despite the controversy surrounding the previous event, 23 intrepid hashers appeared one more time. The two hares, Fired Up and On Fire, ensured that no such criticism would be leveled at them by searching out a trail which was absolutely flat and without a leaf of grass which might stain a shoe. However through some oversight they failed to ensure that the day was clear of rain. Your faithful correspondent regrets to report that dirt from the mud roads did stick to his boots and this required some cleaning afterwards.
Able Semen and Doesn’t Work (Crash) rushed ahead oblivious to where paper may lead. Soreasses was foolish enough to follow them. When suddenly they broke from their reverie to discover that no one had seen paper for 10 minutes, they had to back track for a half kilometer. Later back in the circle Do It Yourself complained that these three had become so self-absorbed that they neglected to kick out the checks. Among the victims were the Lost Samurai and Nok Easy who guessed wrong. Nam Ron avoided all mistakes by pretending to supervise Ranger, Buffalo Bill and No Name.
With the coming of cool weather, Scotch on the Rocks emerged from the north dragging compatriots Virgins Gale and Kelly with her. Cop Out stayed close by her side to ensure that these wild Scots did no harm.
Meanwhile a name change may be due for Johnny Walker who ended up not far behind the FRBs. Likewise the Special Needs-Special Services duo surprised everyone by mysteriously appearing early at the finish line.
Shocking became so enthralled by the trial that he walked right by the end point. Not far behind were Pat on the Back and the inevitable Super Glue who made no such mistake.
At the circle thereafter our favourite GM ever thanked the hares of this run, Fired Up and On Fire, and Nam Ron for the most memorable September hash. He managed to squeeze these details in between the offer of t-shirts and the formation of an orderly queue of eager purchasers. Scotch on the Rocks splashed this truthful reporter for setting an alarm on his beautiful new car so all could appreciate his recent affluence and aesthetics. Finally the group refused to name Nearly Virgin Neil “Doesn’t Work”which would honour his early retirement as an internet blogger. Instead this democracy perversely insisted on anticipating the future by calling him “Crash.”
On! On!
Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce
Monday, October 10, 2011
Saturday Oct 15 hash at 3:30 pm driving instructions
So, from Big 'C' head North on highway 1, direction Mae Sai, go over the river bridge, keep travelling North towards Bandu, the turning you require is 7.3 km from Big 'C'. After about 5.5 km you should pass an ESSO filling station, on your left, then a Shell filling station also on your left and a 24 hour LPG filling station. Once you see the 24 Hour LPG filing station start to slow down as you will shortly be turning left, just before the turn is HUNTER ENGINEERING and a covered car lot, HHH sign will be placed here from about 14.00.
Keep on this small road for about 2.9 km, after the first kilometre you should be able to see a large Temple on your right hand side in the distance, that's where you are heading for. Once you reach the Temple, follow the road round to the right HHH sign here for about 200 metres then keeping on the same road, turn left HHH sign here, go up the the hill and the start/finish is on your right hand side HHH sign.
For anyone coming from the North direction, the turn off you require is the first right turn after passing the airport turn off & MAKRO. Cross straight over and follow the directions above from "Keep on this small road for about 2.9 km".
Extra bonus for Satnav users, latitude 19.955620 - longitude 99.831018, maybe ok, taken from a Blackberry using Google Maps.
Sounds straightforward, but if you have any problems finding the start/finish my mobile is 0843286926, English only & Wi's mobile is 0832032607 Thai & English.
All are welcome and we start at 15.25 with instructions from the Hares, then off sharp at 15.30. The start is early, just in case the weather turns bad, it gets dark early and this course is not as demanding as the previous HASH.
Keep on this small road for about 2.9 km, after the first kilometre you should be able to see a large Temple on your right hand side in the distance, that's where you are heading for. Once you reach the Temple, follow the road round to the right HHH sign here for about 200 metres then keeping on the same road, turn left HHH sign here, go up the the hill and the start/finish is on your right hand side HHH sign.
For anyone coming from the North direction, the turn off you require is the first right turn after passing the airport turn off & MAKRO. Cross straight over and follow the directions above from "Keep on this small road for about 2.9 km".
Extra bonus for Satnav users, latitude 19.955620 - longitude 99.831018, maybe ok, taken from a Blackberry using Google Maps.
Sounds straightforward, but if you have any problems finding the start/finish my mobile is 0843286926, English only & Wi's mobile is 0832032607 Thai & English.
All are welcome and we start at 15.25 with instructions from the Hares, then off sharp at 15.30. The start is early, just in case the weather turns bad, it gets dark early and this course is not as demanding as the previous HASH.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Report of HHH Run# 95: Saturday, September 18, 2011
Hash House Harriers
The Chiangrai “Start slowly and taper off “ Hash
S2ATO the Family Friendly Hash
Founded 15 November 2003
Report of HHH Run# 95: Saturday, September 18, 2011
Location: At the foot of Doi Tung off rural route 1149
Hare: Nam Ron, Big Bic and Yes She Will
Twenty-nine intrepid hashers gathered in the backs of pick up trucks for the short ride from the Pang Sarapee Green Resort to the foot of Doi Tung. No one imagined that the merciful gods which had held back the threatening skies all day would allow the rains to affect the virtuous family-friendly hash. However they must have detected some sinners amongst the blessed group for the heavens did indeed open up and the rains did fall torrentially upon both the good and evil in equal measure. Naturally one immediately wonders who among this otherwise fine group could have brought upon it such a punishment which was as brutal as it was unusual. Could it have been one of the seven visiting hashers from Chiangmai like Sleep On It, Proping Ninja or Sleep On It? Or maybe the sinner is Humper Dick, Hollow Legs or Gets Wet who also come from Chiangmai. Skid Marks likewise looked guilty. Thoughts also turned to the Virgin Family Reich of four freshly out from Florida.
In the deluge and resulting confusion, the hares forgot where the trail began and drove beyond the turn off. You can imagine the joy among hashers as they shivered in the rain while the hares tried to figure what to do next. Eventually we arrived at a mud sodden lane where Nam Ron declared the dreaded words, “The trial begins here!”
Hardy souls like the Chiangmai Seven, Do It Yourself, Nearly Virgin Rose, Paddy Boy and Fired Up immediately set off in defiance of the elements. More discrete individuals like the perpetual G.M. Shocking, Comes Twice and Special Needs hid in the truck cab as witnessed by your devoted scribe who also remained there to accurately record their cowardly deeds. Five minutes later the rains stopped and eventually the secreted ones risked leaving their refuge. That is when Special Needs suddenly discovered that for the first time since arriving in Thailand he is without the constant ministrations of Special Services. Totally disoriented he rashly set off in the direction of paper in desperate hopes of finding succor.
Special Needs was not the only one in need of support that day. The trial headed steeply up hill and then an equally steep gradient downwards to be repeated over three peaks and valleys. The scenery was magnificent but few hashers had the opportunity to appreciate the verdant landscape so focused were they on where their feet were slipping. Special Needs was wise enough to bring a walking stick. Fired Up had sufficient resourcefulness to grab a stick along the way. Your faithful correspondent fell on his back and nearly cracked his head open. Fortunately the land was soft.
After the first hill, Shocking persuaded himself that despite the absence of paper, the trial must lie along a road somewhere. The devoted Pat on the Back and son Super Glue fearing that they might lose their colossal companion followed in his enormous wake. Nam Ron eventually discovered them on the Super Highway headed towards Mae Sai.
For this particular event Nam Ron took it upon himself to set a number of false trials in addition to circle checks. This made it difficult for FRB’s to clearly indicate to those behind where the trial led. Consequently each group had to find its own way forward. The result was that while the FRB’s finished in 50 minutes, the last ones in (Soreasses, Marmalaid, Special Needs, Special Services) required 2 hours and 15 minutes.
The FRB’s were not complaining. The trial ended at the Big Bic compound which is one of the most beautiful spots in Chiang Rai province. Moreover there was a swimming pool and Big Bic had outfitted the French Mediterranean style house with a pool table and ping pong table for those who remained sober enough to use them.
In recognizing our seven visitors from the Chiang Mai hash, the perpetual G.M. reminded the circle that this is a family hash and anyone who doesn’t like free speech is free to bugger off. We then proceeded to toast the hares, the virgins and elect names for the newcomers as follows. Appreciating the positive “can do” posture of Preng and her special link to Big Bic alias “Will” she acquired the name “Yes She Will.” Likewise the group admired the stamina which made Jolly Molly doubly pregnant and therefore gave Christian the name “Comes twice.”
In expressing his appreciation for the trail Soreasses congratulated the hares upon creating an environment which risked terminating any unsuspecting hasher. The G.M. then turned to the circle over to our visitors from Chiang Mai who gave up when they discovered that there was no beer remaining for more “down downs.”
The fun and games continued well into the night following the On! On! On! at the Pang Sarapee Green Resort.
Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce
Monday, September 5, 2011
Driving Directions for Sat. Sept. 17 Hash
UPDATE as of Sept. 13th:
The parking and starting area will be at the Pangsarapee Green Resort 20°16'15.05"N, 99°50'25.72"E
Please be in the parking lot by 3:30 p.m. The truck will leave at 3:45 so the run can start at 4 pm.
For the location map - http://wikimapia.org/#lat=20.2706263&lon=99.8398125&z=18&l=0&m=b
Allow yourself one hour to drive from downtown Chiang Rai. Head north on the superhighway, go about 13 km past Mae Chan until you come to Huay Krai Village. Turn left at the first traffic light, towards Doi Tung. Go approx. 2 km. The resort will be on your right. The bungalows have a white roof.
If you plan to come back the same day and would like a ride to and from the ride, contact Sven (Do It Yourself) at 089-997-7574.
The parking and starting area will be at the Pangsarapee Green Resort 20°16'15.05"N, 99°50'25.72"E
Please be in the parking lot by 3:30 p.m. The truck will leave at 3:45 so the run can start at 4 pm.
For the location map - http://wikimapia.org/#lat=20.2706263&lon=99.8398125&z=18&l=0&m=b
Allow yourself one hour to drive from downtown Chiang Rai. Head north on the superhighway, go about 13 km past Mae Chan until you come to Huay Krai Village. Turn left at the first traffic light, towards Doi Tung. Go approx. 2 km. The resort will be on your right. The bungalows have a white roof.
If you plan to come back the same day and would like a ride to and from the ride, contact Sven (Do It Yourself) at 089-997-7574.
Report of HHH Run# 94: Saturday, August 20, 2011
Founded 15 November 2003
Location: Behind Don’s Café not far from the In Cee StupaHares: SoreArseIHas and Marmalaid with special input by Able Semen
The day began as a wash out and the rain persisted all morning. The hares laid the trail then had to keep relaying it until the crowds passed. Despite the ominous weather 24 hashers showed up to brave the elements. Fortunately the rain tapered off to drizzle as the appointed hour drew near. A few gallant hashers like your faithful correspondent carried umbrellas to shade the trail from the heavenly waters however briefly.
At the very first check the irrepressible FRB, Nam Ron stumbled upon the homeward trial before the intended path forward could be found. So everyone responded to the resounding “On! On!” and hence the trip was done in reverse. In the process we came upon Able Semen still laying trail but headed in the opposite direction. Consequently all the clever traps designed by the hares proved utterly useless and the usual FRBs like On Fire, Virgin Neale and Do It Yourself returned to home base in record time. Not among them was Big Bic who responded to an urgent call of nature. He chose a spot which he thought was far from the beaten track. It turns out however that our creative hares had scattered more paper on a false trail
just the other side of tree he squatted bare-assed behind. Grasping desperately at whatever grasses came to hand, he disappeared deeper into the woods before Fired Up, Nok Easy, and their followers stumbled upon him.
Two cows and their calves were minding their own business chewing grass beside the road when Bushwacker decided that such Buddhist placidity just won’t do. So he got them riled up just as the four mosquiteers came into sight. Wild Bill, No Name and Johnny Walker managed to slip by unobtrusively but Ranger was struck dumb with terror. This generated a rare moment of paternal compassion in Nam Ron who actually sacrificed his moment of glory at the head of the pack in order to rescue his son.
Meanwhile the rift raft continued to struggle along the muddy path. Talk about the blind leading the blind, the Lost Samurai headed this lot until at last he confessed that he hadn’t seen paper for ages. At that point the ever resourceful Shocking got out his phone and called Able Semen for help. In the meantime Pat on the Back and her inseparable son Super Glue started retracing their steps followed by everyone except Big Bic and his Virgin Pleng. About 300 meters back Fat Cat while sniffing after daughter Kitty Kat and Virgin Yao stumbles upon paper heading off into a rice paddy. About a kilometer into this sticky mess we suddenly discover Big Bic and Virgin Pleng running up ahead of us. It seems they had found another false trail and followed back to its origin.
Back at the circle Special Services was discovered hosing down Special Needs. (see picture below)
Anticipating a baptism Fat Cat removed his new mud-encrusted shoes and hid them in his car. Marmalaid produced banana cake and fruit to complement the usual potato chips. Soreasses announced that the On! On! On! organized at Don’s Café was scheduled to begin in 10 minutes so Shocking ran the fastest circle ever. In the rush to finish he neglected to announce the sale of t-shirts which disappointed all those who anticipated fat profits reselling these prized objects on e-Bay. However he did not forget to call for name nominations. Thus it is the man responsible for all the cigarette lighters littering Thailand became known as “Big Bic” and young Michael declared himself “Johnny Walker” to honour his father’s favourite drink.
Appended to this report is the report of the GM/Hash Cash pro tem who admits that although he thoroughly indulged himself at the On! On! On! he maintains that his behaviour did not affect our group’s financial position.
Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce
Friday, August 12, 2011
Driving Instructions to the August 20 Hash beginning at 4 pm
The August Chiang Rai Hash is timed to start at 4 pm on the 20th. The route is approximately 6.8 kms of primarily flat terrain, with one short steep hill, a few trail inclines, a few rice paddy ridges, and field and cornfield trails. Much of the route will be muddy if it has rained. There are about 1.8 kms of paved road. Overall the route is safe for rainy season. The route should be considered average by our past HHH experiences. The route begins and ends at our house so we can have shelter for the circle.
Starting from the flashy clock tower heading west you wind around the road at its end and then take the first left over Chiangmai Gate bridge. This puts you on Old Chiang Mai Road (Highway 1211) along which you proceed south about 1.5 kms until you reach the second set of traffic lights in Den Haa. Turn right here. Continue on about 8 kms along this road until you reach Don’s café on the left side of the road. Follow any Pra Soet Hot Springs, LamNamKok National Park, and Doi In Cee Stupa signs to Don’s Café.
(If approaching from south of CR, turn left at the first set of lights after the 1211 six lane stretch after The Sixties bar.)
At Don’s Café there is a slip road to the left. There will be an HHH sign here. Take this slip road and continue for about 400 meters. You will then see a blue sign pointing to the left to Doi In Cee Stupa and a white statue of Buddha carrying a parasol. Turn left here. There will be another HHH sign. Continue for 300 meters as you enter Baan Doi Hang Nai. Turn left at Soi 1 across from the temple. As you proceed straight, the paved road will become gravel and pass a blue roofed house on the right. The road will lead directly into our driveway. Our home is the first of four mint green structures. Motorcycles can park in our driveway, but vehicles will need to line the soi before entering House of Union property of which our house is a part.
Our mobile numbers are 086.069.0992 and 086.069.0994 in case of questions.
An On On On is planned at Don’s Café at 6pm. The buffet will cost 200 baht per adult with children under 12 free. Reservations will need to be sent to grosser.debbie@gmail.com by 2pm the 19th.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Report of HHH Run# 93: Saturday, July 16, 2011
Location: At the Boomerang Climbing Park, north shore of Kok River west of Nam Laat between the two Buddha caves
Hare: Hand Cock
The afternoon began inauspiciously with heavy rain which persisted as the meeting hour drew near. Despite these unfavorable omens, twenty-five intrepid hashers gathered for the monthly outing. These included 15 adult males, four women and six kids.
Hand Cock, the hare, promised mushy wanderings. He did not disappoint. The trail soon left the paved road and headed straight through ankle-deep ponds. Foolish front-runners like Fired Up, Do It Yourself and our founder Brain Health determined to stay in front and believing this pond would be only the first of many ran straight through while the more cautious people like the Lost Samurai, Soreassis, Special Needs and Special Services made a wide circuit and saved their boots a lot of grief. Fortunately the hare had anticipated bad weather and mostly kept the trail on gravel roads.
These roads led into the hills which line the north shore of the Kok River and form a big oblong circle which brought us eventually back to the starting point. However following the paper was no an easy task. The environmentalists eager to eliminate litter, conspired with our miserly mismanagers to reduce the hare’s allocation of paper to the absolute minimum. So the few strands he had frugally scattered about the countryside soon dissolved in the torrential downpour which followed his trail-setting. However we were inspired by the technique of special guest star Ring Worm on loan from the City of Angels who steadfastly stood at each check while the FRBs searched the way forward.
Back in the circle Ring Worm and Peter Gibbs were honored as “Almost Virgins.” For Peter it was his second run after a long interlude. Ring Worm had co-hared the inaugural run along with Brain Health and your faithful correspondent but on that occasion he neglected his sweeping duties after breaking a foot-bone and never came back. As usual Shocking attracted a lot of attention but this time the eagle-eyed Nam Ron noticed that he was wearing new boots. This called for a baptism. So Nam Ron emptied an entire can of Leo beer into the filthy shoe which Shocking promptly downed with the encouragement of Pat-on-the Back and Superglue.
In anticipation of the next hash, Christian, the Swiss-German banker responsible for Molly Polly’s current double pregnancy and Will, a flogger of new cigarette-lighters were called into the circle for a preliminary confession which would lead to a naming ceremony next time. The young niece of Nok Easy was invited to name herself. “Just Jane” was her eloquent reply.
Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce
Hare: Hand Cock
The afternoon began inauspiciously with heavy rain which persisted as the meeting hour drew near. Despite these unfavorable omens, twenty-five intrepid hashers gathered for the monthly outing. These included 15 adult males, four women and six kids.
Hand Cock, the hare, promised mushy wanderings. He did not disappoint. The trail soon left the paved road and headed straight through ankle-deep ponds. Foolish front-runners like Fired Up, Do It Yourself and our founder Brain Health determined to stay in front and believing this pond would be only the first of many ran straight through while the more cautious people like the Lost Samurai, Soreassis, Special Needs and Special Services made a wide circuit and saved their boots a lot of grief. Fortunately the hare had anticipated bad weather and mostly kept the trail on gravel roads.
These roads led into the hills which line the north shore of the Kok River and form a big oblong circle which brought us eventually back to the starting point. However following the paper was no an easy task. The environmentalists eager to eliminate litter, conspired with our miserly mismanagers to reduce the hare’s allocation of paper to the absolute minimum. So the few strands he had frugally scattered about the countryside soon dissolved in the torrential downpour which followed his trail-setting. However we were inspired by the technique of special guest star Ring Worm on loan from the City of Angels who steadfastly stood at each check while the FRBs searched the way forward.
Back in the circle Ring Worm and Peter Gibbs were honored as “Almost Virgins.” For Peter it was his second run after a long interlude. Ring Worm had co-hared the inaugural run along with Brain Health and your faithful correspondent but on that occasion he neglected his sweeping duties after breaking a foot-bone and never came back. As usual Shocking attracted a lot of attention but this time the eagle-eyed Nam Ron noticed that he was wearing new boots. This called for a baptism. So Nam Ron emptied an entire can of Leo beer into the filthy shoe which Shocking promptly downed with the encouragement of Pat-on-the Back and Superglue.
In anticipation of the next hash, Christian, the Swiss-German banker responsible for Molly Polly’s current double pregnancy and Will, a flogger of new cigarette-lighters were called into the circle for a preliminary confession which would lead to a naming ceremony next time. The young niece of Nok Easy was invited to name herself. “Just Jane” was her eloquent reply.
Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Directions to Hash on Jul 16th 2011 at 4 PM
Directions from Big C - count 20 mins
(NB There will be as many HHH signs as I can find):
a) head north on the superhighway heading towards Mae Chan. Pass the Mengrai/Haayaek junction and cross the Mae Kok river bridge.
b) at the first traffic lights after the bridge, turn left (sign "Huay Khom" route 1207). Reset your kilometer/odometer to 0.
c) pass straight through the first lights, and after 1.8km, pass the turning to the left signposted to Rimkok Hotel and prepare to turn left at the next cross roads (360 m further on, 2.26km from traffic lights) where there will an HHH sign.
d) after turning left, follow the road for 1km (total 3.26 km from traffic lights) until you come to a slightly offset crossroads.
e) at the crossroads, go straight across (actually, slightly offset to the left). This is the road out to the Buddha caves for those of you in the know - another HHH sign
f) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for the "Boomerang Adventure Park " (HHH sign) at this bend and look for somewhere to park.
2. Directions from the west of CR
For those coming from the south or south-west and who don't want to go all the way east to the superhighway:
a) cross the river on the Mae Fah Luang Bridge (the non-superhighway bridge just to the west of the Rimkok Hotel/Dusit Island Hotel) and reset your kilometer/odometer to 0
b) continue north after crossing the bridge 1km when you will come a crossroads with a sign marked "Buddha Cave" to the left - turn left here (HHH sign).
c) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for the "Boomerang Adventure Park" (HHH sign) at this bend and look for somewhere to park.
If you have any problems, or need a lift organised, call me on 0861 940 922.
DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: there may be some water/mud involved in this run, so please wear appropriately old footwear.
(NB There will be as many HHH signs as I can find):
a) head north on the superhighway heading towards Mae Chan. Pass the Mengrai/Haayaek junction and cross the Mae Kok river bridge.
b) at the first traffic lights after the bridge, turn left (sign "Huay Khom" route 1207). Reset your kilometer/odometer to 0.
c) pass straight through the first lights, and after 1.8km, pass the turning to the left signposted to Rimkok Hotel and prepare to turn left at the next cross roads (360 m further on, 2.26km from traffic lights) where there will an HHH sign.
d) after turning left, follow the road for 1km (total 3.26 km from traffic lights) until you come to a slightly offset crossroads.
e) at the crossroads, go straight across (actually, slightly offset to the left). This is the road out to the Buddha caves for those of you in the know - another HHH sign
f) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for the "Boomerang Adventure Park " (HHH sign) at this bend and look for somewhere to park.
2. Directions from the west of CR
For those coming from the south or south-west and who don't want to go all the way east to the superhighway:
a) cross the river on the Mae Fah Luang Bridge (the non-superhighway bridge just to the west of the Rimkok Hotel/Dusit Island Hotel) and reset your kilometer/odometer to 0
b) continue north after crossing the bridge 1km when you will come a crossroads with a sign marked "Buddha Cave" to the left - turn left here (HHH sign).
c) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for the "Boomerang Adventure Park" (HHH sign) at this bend and look for somewhere to park.
If you have any problems, or need a lift organised, call me on 0861 940 922.
DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: there may be some water/mud involved in this run, so please wear appropriately old footwear.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Chiangrai Family Friendly Hash Report No. 92, from June 18, 2011
Location near Huay Sak Reservoir
Hares: Brain Health & Just Perfect
After a long absence as hare, Brain Health took the reigns because Paddy Boy had conscripted him three months prior. Since Brain Health had no say in the matter, he proceeded to take out his vengeance by beating the s**t out of the hashers – setting a near record number of checks, taking us on muddy roads, up hills, through a village with dogs at every house and if that wasn’t enough, through tracks lined with “mai ya lap” or chicken scream vines on both sides so that with one false step you would be scarred for life. 34 innocent hashers consisting of 9 virgins, 6 children and an even split of males and females turned up, not knowing what Brain Health had in store. To make matters worse, Brain Health had enlisted the services of two young lads (keep your mind out of the gutter) to run in front of the FRBs and pretend to guide them on the correct path only to lead them astray.
The checks were very successful, leading the FRBs in the wrong direction nearly every time. SoreAssIis and Do It Yourself learned the hard way that following the local lads would quickly lead you astray and Fired up & Virgin Will managed to take the lead. The route went out of a village, across some fields, onto an irrigation khlong with some missing cover pieces to act as hazards, onto a dirt road and then onto a small farming trail that took us up to a summit overlooking the reservoir. As we dropped down onto the dam, Brain Health was there with his whip threatening the hashers to keep running or bear the consequences. Most of the hashers continued on but a few broke under the stress including Shocking, Dream, Lye, No Name and Ranger who opted to take the short cut back along the road. As the main group got to the On-On there was a panic because when the saw Shocking with a beer in hand, comfortably seated near the ice chest, they were sure there would be no beer left. Luckily Do It Yourself had hidden an ice chest that Shocking hadn’t found. Shocking’s rather dubious account can be read here (The hare had informed the hashers that he would position himself near the 5k mark just in case anyone wanted to take the short route home (would we) with the hare nowhere in sight yours truly arrived at the 5k mark and thinking nature had called with the hare, set off again in the belief that he was taking the long route only to find to his amazement that he had arrived back at the hares house first home, celebrating his victory by heading straight for the beer box.) (Bold added for effect) Lost Samuria, Nok Easy, Hom Noi, Elaine, Virgin Will, Dream and friend Lye trailed in with Titanic, The Best Man, On Fire, Iceberg & Special needs with Special Services in close attendance with Buffalo Bill, Ranger,& No Name together with friend Michael coming home in a blanket finish.
As an aside, Virgin Lye had been told by Virgin Will that the hash was a kind of party so she had dressed in a very suave party dress and wore high heels. Needless to say, she wasn’t overly thrilled with Virgin Will by the end of the hash and needed assistance just walking as her heels were well blistered.
Feeling guilty that her husband Brain Health had tortured so many innocent hashers, Just Perfect decided to make it up to everyone by putting on a spread that would not have been out of place in a 5 star hotel. There was a mouth-watering selection of local dishes brought in by a professional caterer. However, Just Perfect had her hands full trying to keep that crafty Labrador Bushwacker and Perfect Man’s Rottweiller from stepping on her newly planted flowers and eating the food off the table. But after feeding 34 hungry hashers and 2 big dogs, there was still enough left over to feed the village.
The Circle
Since the circle happened after the food and significant amounts of beer had been consumed, most of the hashers struggled to keep their eyes open. Shocking acted as GM and after the usual spiel presented our hares with the special shirts and managed to sell one to a first timer Virgin Rose. He then welcomed the 9 hash virgins: Brian, Nang, Christian, Elaine, Aussie Andrew who looks to have a good beer arm to make a devoted hasher, Will and Wife Dream and friend Lye who thought she had escaped the circle but was toasted on the second attempt and Rose who lived next door to the hares but came from China via Phuket. Since everyone was overly full, there were no memorable down-downs or anything else worth mentioning.
Fine Print: Due to our renowned hash scribe Wirgin "Shakespeare" Bluce taking a tour of ALL the whiskey & beer distillers of Canada plus his assistant Able Semen going on an all you can drink boating holiday in dear old Blighty, we freely admit we have scraped the barrel to write this report
Confirmed Hares
July Hand Cock
August Mamalaid/ SoreAssIis
September Namron and Virgin Will
October On Fire/ Fired Up
November Wirgin Bluce/ Wild Woman
December Able Semen
Pictures by Lost Samurai
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