Founded 15 November 2003
Location: Behind Don’s Café not far from the In Cee StupaHares: SoreArseIHas and Marmalaid with special input by Able Semen
The day began as a wash out and the rain persisted all morning. The hares laid the trail then had to keep relaying it until the crowds passed. Despite the ominous weather 24 hashers showed up to brave the elements. Fortunately the rain tapered off to drizzle as the appointed hour drew near. A few gallant hashers like your faithful correspondent carried umbrellas to shade the trail from the heavenly waters however briefly.
At the very first check the irrepressible FRB, Nam Ron stumbled upon the homeward trial before the intended path forward could be found. So everyone responded to the resounding “On! On!” and hence the trip was done in reverse. In the process we came upon Able Semen still laying trail but headed in the opposite direction. Consequently all the clever traps designed by the hares proved utterly useless and the usual FRBs like On Fire, Virgin Neale and Do It Yourself returned to home base in record time. Not among them was Big Bic who responded to an urgent call of nature. He chose a spot which he thought was far from the beaten track. It turns out however that our creative hares had scattered more paper on a false trail
just the other side of tree he squatted bare-assed behind. Grasping desperately at whatever grasses came to hand, he disappeared deeper into the woods before Fired Up, Nok Easy, and their followers stumbled upon him.
Two cows and their calves were minding their own business chewing grass beside the road when Bushwacker decided that such Buddhist placidity just won’t do. So he got them riled up just as the four mosquiteers came into sight. Wild Bill, No Name and Johnny Walker managed to slip by unobtrusively but Ranger was struck dumb with terror. This generated a rare moment of paternal compassion in Nam Ron who actually sacrificed his moment of glory at the head of the pack in order to rescue his son.
Meanwhile the rift raft continued to struggle along the muddy path. Talk about the blind leading the blind, the Lost Samurai headed this lot until at last he confessed that he hadn’t seen paper for ages. At that point the ever resourceful Shocking got out his phone and called Able Semen for help. In the meantime Pat on the Back and her inseparable son Super Glue started retracing their steps followed by everyone except Big Bic and his Virgin Pleng. About 300 meters back Fat Cat while sniffing after daughter Kitty Kat and Virgin Yao stumbles upon paper heading off into a rice paddy. About a kilometer into this sticky mess we suddenly discover Big Bic and Virgin Pleng running up ahead of us. It seems they had found another false trail and followed back to its origin.
Back at the circle Special Services was discovered hosing down Special Needs. (see picture below)
Anticipating a baptism Fat Cat removed his new mud-encrusted shoes and hid them in his car. Marmalaid produced banana cake and fruit to complement the usual potato chips. Soreasses announced that the On! On! On! organized at Don’s Café was scheduled to begin in 10 minutes so Shocking ran the fastest circle ever. In the rush to finish he neglected to announce the sale of t-shirts which disappointed all those who anticipated fat profits reselling these prized objects on e-Bay. However he did not forget to call for name nominations. Thus it is the man responsible for all the cigarette lighters littering Thailand became known as “Big Bic” and young Michael declared himself “Johnny Walker” to honour his father’s favourite drink.
Appended to this report is the report of the GM/Hash Cash pro tem who admits that although he thoroughly indulged himself at the On! On! On! he maintains that his behaviour did not affect our group’s financial position.
Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce
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