Hash House Harriers

The Chiangrai “Start slowly and taper off “ Hash

S2ATO the Family Friendly Hash

Founded 15 November 2003

Report of HHH Run# 95: Saturday, September 18, 2011

Location: At the foot of Doi Tung off rural route 1149

Hare: Nam Ron, Big Bic and Yes She Will

Twenty-nine intrepid hashers gathered in the backs of pick up trucks for the short ride from the Pang Sarapee Green Resort to the foot of Doi Tung. No one imagined that the merciful gods which had held back the threatening skies all day would allow the rains to affect the virtuous family-friendly hash. However they must have detected some sinners amongst the blessed group for the heavens did indeed open up and the rains did fall torrentially upon both the good and evil in equal measure. Naturally one immediately wonders who among this otherwise fine group could have brought upon it such a punishment which was as brutal as it was unusual. Could it have been one of the seven visiting hashers from Chiangmai like Sleep On It, Proping Ninja or Sleep On It? Or maybe the sinner is Humper Dick, Hollow Legs or Gets Wet who also come from Chiangmai. Skid Marks likewise looked guilty. Thoughts also turned to the Virgin Family Reich of four freshly out from Florida.

In the deluge and resulting confusion, the hares forgot where the trail began and drove beyond the turn off. You can imagine the joy among hashers as they shivered in the rain while the hares tried to figure what to do next. Eventually we arrived at a mud sodden lane where Nam Ron declared the dreaded words, “The trial begins here!”

Hardy souls like the Chiangmai Seven, Do It Yourself, Nearly Virgin Rose, Paddy Boy and Fired Up immediately set off in defiance of the elements. More discrete individuals like the perpetual G.M. Shocking, Comes Twice and Special Needs hid in the truck cab as witnessed by your devoted scribe who also remained there to accurately record their cowardly deeds. Five minutes later the rains stopped and eventually the secreted ones risked leaving their refuge. That is when Special Needs suddenly discovered that for the first time since arriving in Thailand he is without the constant ministrations of Special Services. Totally disoriented he rashly set off in the direction of paper in desperate hopes of finding succor.

Special Needs was not the only one in need of support that day. The trial headed steeply up hill and then an equally steep gradient downwards to be repeated over three peaks and valleys. The scenery was magnificent but few hashers had the opportunity to appreciate the verdant landscape so focused were they on where their feet were slipping. Special Needs was wise enough to bring a walking stick. Fired Up had sufficient resourcefulness to grab a stick along the way. Your faithful correspondent fell on his back and nearly cracked his head open. Fortunately the land was soft.

After the first hill, Shocking persuaded himself that despite the absence of paper, the trial must lie along a road somewhere. The devoted Pat on the Back and son Super Glue fearing that they might lose their colossal companion followed in his enormous wake. Nam Ron eventually discovered them on the Super Highway headed towards Mae Sai.

For this particular event Nam Ron took it upon himself to set a number of false trials in addition to circle checks. This made it difficult for FRB’s to clearly indicate to those behind where the trial led. Consequently each group had to find its own way forward. The result was that while the FRB’s finished in 50 minutes, the last ones in (Soreasses, Marmalaid, Special Needs, Special Services) required 2 hours and 15 minutes.

The FRB’s were not complaining. The trial ended at the Big Bic compound which is one of the most beautiful spots in Chiang Rai province. Moreover there was a swimming pool and Big Bic had outfitted the French Mediterranean style house with a pool table and ping pong table for those who remained sober enough to use them.

In recognizing our seven visitors from the Chiang Mai hash, the perpetual G.M. reminded the circle that this is a family hash and anyone who doesn’t like free speech is free to bugger off. We then proceeded to toast the hares, the virgins and elect names for the newcomers as follows. Appreciating the positive “can do” posture of Preng and her special link to Big Bic alias “Will” she acquired the name “Yes She Will.” Likewise the group admired the stamina which made Jolly Molly doubly pregnant and therefore gave Christian the name “Comes twice.”

In expressing his appreciation for the trail Soreasses congratulated the hares upon creating an environment which risked terminating any unsuspecting hasher. The G.M. then turned to the circle over to our visitors from Chiang Mai who gave up when they discovered that there was no beer remaining for more “down downs.”

The fun and games continued well into the night following the On! On! On! at the Pang Sarapee Green Resort.

Hash Scribe (pro tem) Wirgin Bluce