The December 21st
2013 Chiang Rai Family Friendly Hash was held on a cool, beautiful Saturday
afternoon southwest of the city, along the old Chiang Mai highway. Our Hare, the esteemed Able Semen, offered
the Hashers the choice of three different trails distancing approximately 3, 4,
and 5 kilometers. After a short
introduction by the Hare during which few, including Able Semen, understood
what was said and even fewer listened, the Hashers were off at various speeds
down various trails. The Hashers followed
the trails among farms and paddies that dot the rolling hills of the area. The conspicuously Able Semen’s trail was
abundant in picturesque views of the countryside. At one point the Hashers came upon a large
Buddha statue, which, according to Wirgin Bluce (through optical illusion or an
extra dose of his ‘medication’), appeared to float on the rice stocks
below.
The first FRB’s finished in less
than an hour, with the walkers trickling in about twenty minutes later. Nam’Ron’s brood of little dude Hashers were
technically the first to cross the finish line with their patriarch following
quickly behind. However, it was Nam’Ron
who was first to pop open a cold beer provided by Crash and dutifully protected
by Oral Banger, giving him the victory.
The beer had plenty of willing guardians during the run as the MFU
contingent of Well Seated, Sarah, Stuart, and Loose Stool arrived too late
(some too hungover) to participate in the run.
The first circle led by the newly
elected/condemned G.M. Oral Banger introduced a new element to the family
friendly festivities: ice. Able Semen
wasted no time in showing onlookers the proper way to utilize the ice, dropping
trou and leaving many speechless as he sat on the ice bare-bummed while taking
a healthy dose of both vitriol and congratulations. Unfortunately for the eyes of your faithful
scribe, there was an abundance of white,
cottage cheese-like O.M.A (old man arse)
steaming up the ice and burning unwanted images into everyone’s
memory. Fortunately, arses adorned the
ice with good reason as our G.M. brought awards to be handed out due to the
various reputations, both deserved and not, of his peers. The awards were as follows:
1.
D.F.L (Dead F@#$ing Last):
Crash
2.
Head Monkey: Loose Stool
3.
Happy Hasher: Nam’Ron (happy because he had two
ladies on his lap)
4.
Ms. Baanoke: Pat on the Back
5.
Sexy Hasher:
Cop Out (eliminated the competition by ending the debate whether her
golden tan was accompanied by lines)
6.
Worst Trail Ever: Shocking
After the awards were handed out,
our G.M. passed out Hash Hymnals and encouraged everyone to get in the holiday
spirit by joining voices together in song.
Precise altos, sopranos and baritones could be heard across the hills as
classics such as ‘Jingle Balls’ and ‘Donnie the Retard’ were belted out with
fervor. At the conclusion of the circle
the Hashers were treated to a delicious dinner by their gracious hosts Able
Semen and Daeng. Shortly after dark, the
Hashers started to make their various ways home with full bellies, holiday spirits
invigorated. Hope to see everyone at the
next CRFF Hash on January 4th around Mae Fah Luang University.
No comments:
Post a Comment