Write Up of Christmas Hash 2014

The Christmas hash was set and hosted by a swollen legged, barely-able-to-walk, dis-Abled Semen.   35 paying hashers attended and 4 freeloading kids managed to sneak into the gala.  Because of his injury, Able Semen’s grand vision of having hashers scaling Doi Chang with ice axes and crampons had been scaled down to a 5 km walk around the rolling hills.  Even though it wasn’t the longest hash, Able Semen’s exceptionally difficult checks managed to fool front running hardman Ultra Dik and his yet un-named fast running accomplices, giving shrewd running Oral Banger a chance to keep up with the FRBs and in perfect timing finish the hash with yet another victory and bragging rights for a month.  

The On-On was at Able Semen’s estate and hashers were treated to a chilly block of ice and a warm dinner.  The circle was managed by newly elected GM Cop Out who wore red Christmas cones over her nipples  which accentuated her excitement at being in charge without having to pull out her gun.  Her better half, Agent Orange, proved especially adept at providing refreshments and fulfilling his new position as hash beer.  The new scribe, Frozen Ring, and hash cash, H2Ho, however failed to attend because they said they prefer it long and hard and chose to go to Chiang Mai to run a marathon instead!  The result of this is yet another piss poor write-up in shoddy English (je suis Namron) and the finances in complete disarray by Try-Sexual.  Cop Out’s GM debut was quite entertaining, especially when she had the DFL lost group lead by Scotch on the Rocks and Wirgin Bluce come into the circle, tie bells around their waists and gyrate out a Jingle Bells for everyone.  Air Canada, Shocking, Pat on the Back and a few other long-lost hashers were back in attendance, most likely because of the 50 baht Christmas dinner.  Oral Banger gave Cop Out a splash while pointing out that even though we had a block of ice, the block effectively had a condom on it, lessening the pleasure it provided for hashers.  During the naming session for a young Greek woman a split vote emerged.  On one side stood Hand Cock and the genteel pushing for “Feta accompli” and the other stood Dragon Balls and the less-sophisticates pushing for “SpartaPuss.”  Cop Out solved the impasse by pointing out that most of the voters in Hand Cock’s group had not even done the hash, just coming for the party.  During dinner, Able Semen provided us with Dutch Christmas music and Cop Out showed her true dancing talents.  Finally to the dismay of the children, the naughty hashers were passed over by regular visitor Santa Claus, who got too drunk to make it to party this year.  

The next hash will be on January 20^th so be on the lookout for driving directions that should appear in your inbox within the next week.